


The Only Easy Day Was Yesterday

by AmmatureWriter



Series: U.S. Navy SEAL Evan "Buck" Buckley - AU [2]
Category: 9-1-1 (TV)
Genre: Angst and Hurt/Comfort, Angst with a Happy Ending, Bathroom Sex, Bottom Eddie, Breaking Up & Making Up, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, Hurt Evan "Buck" Buckley, Internalized Homophobia, M/M, Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder - PTSD, Top Evan "Buck" Buckley, Tsunami (9-1-1 TV), U.S. Navy SEAL Evan "Buck" Buckley
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-04-26
Updated: 2020-06-09
Packaged: 2021-03-01 17:14:03
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 14
Words: 52,774
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/23860630
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/AmmatureWriter/pseuds/AmmatureWriter
Summary: Eddie Diaz is a married man. And yet, he could not stop thinking about one unforgettable night he spent with a man he barely knows of. He managed to bury that memory deep inside his brain. But what happened when fate interferes and he crossed path with said stranger again? Can he manage to keep his feelings at bay?
Relationships: Evan "Buck" Buckley/Eddie Diaz, Evan “Buck” Buckley/Eddie Diaz (9-1-1 TV), Maddie Buckley/Howie "Chimney" Han
Series: U.S. Navy SEAL Evan "Buck" Buckley - AU [2]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1719361
Comments: 135
Kudos: 493





	1. Kabul, Afghanistan

**Author's Note:**

> This story does not comply with 9-1-1's actual storyline and both characters might be a little bit out of character. I am a sucker for badass Navy Seal Buck. Honestly, the quarantine is driving me crazy and I just need a little fluff story to brighten my day.
> 
> This is part two of the series but it took place before the first part. You can read one without having to read the other :)
> 
> English is not my native language and I don't have someone to beta-ed this so I am sorry if there were grammatical errors here and there. I hope you enjoy the story :)

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Eddie never thought that he would see him again, but when he did, he was back in the warzone.

_“I’ll better make sure you come back to your kid in once piece.”_

Eddie woke up soaked in sweat. _That dream again_ , he thought to himself as he stretched his sore body and got up from the bed. The alarm clock on his nightstand informed him that it was still five in the morning and Eddie sighed because he knew he could not go back to sleep anymore. _At least I still get decent hours of sleep_ , he thought.

It has been a while since Eddie had that dream, or should he said flashback. It did not occur often but when it did, Eddie would end up feeling fidgety all day. He was lucky that today was his day off at work, at least the jitters would not affect his performance at work.

He was supposed to be up in forty-five minutes so Eddie decided to change the sheets to kill the time. When the alarm blared quarter before six, he already changed the sheets into a new one and put the old one in the washing machine.

After turning off the alarm, Eddie went out of his room and strolled to the room across the corridor. The door was left ajar and when he pushed it open, he was greeted by a sight of his son sleeping peacefully. He leaned into the door frame and knocked on the wood several times to wake him up and Christopher, being an early bird he was, opened his eyes and get up without any struggle.

“Rise and shine, little man,” He said.

Chris managed to get up from the bed on his own and Eddie grin in pride when Chris said: “Let’s do this.”

“Let’s do this,” he parroted before leaving the door open and went to the living room. He could hear the sound of Chris’s crutches from behind, letting him know that his son was following him.

Eddie helped Chris set his crutches aside and the diligent boy slowly lowered himself to the carpeted floor. He started to stretch his body and Eddie smiled when he heard Chris started counting his stretches. Eddie joined him on the floor and started doing push-ups himself.

“Keep going my little superman,” He said when Chris started to slow down a bit and his son responded with a grunt.

“Nice job!” He said after Chris had finished his stretches. He handed Chris his crutches back and after getting up from the floor, his son bolted to the kitchen.

“What do you want for breakfast?” He asked as he joined Chris in the kitchen and took out a carton of milk from the fridge.

“Cereal!” Chris answered eagerly as he settled himself on the chair.

“You sure? You don’t want pancakes or something?”

“No! You like to burn your pancakes.” Chris said teasingly and Eddie faked a sad expression.

“I’m wounded, niño” he said as he handed Chris his favorite cereal, Crispy Rice.

Eddie went for the coffee pot and poured a glass of black unsweetened coffee before joining Chris on the table.

“Ow,” Chris exclaimed when he poured too much cereal until some of it spilled to the table.

“A little bit too much,” he said as he took the cereal box from Chris. “It’s okay.” He continued as he poured some of Chris’s cereal to his own bowl.

They ate and chatted for a while. If someone asked him, Eddie would tell them that this was his favorite moment every day. Chris usually talked about school or the cartoons he watched on TV. It always brings a smile on his face when Chris giggled as he told him stories.

After they were done with breakfast, they both took a quick bath and brushed their teeth. Eddie was always amazed by people who could go out to work without showering in the morning, Chris’s mother included. He could not.

After they had been dry and smelled good, they went to their respective bedroom to put on some clothes. Eddie settled with a pair of jeans and a flannel shirt with a white t-shirt underneath. He took his watches and put his watches on as he strode back to Chris’s room.

His son was struggling with his socks but Eddie knew it would be better if he did not intervene. He waited until Chris put both of his socks on and smiled when Chris gave him a big grin.

“Ready for school?” He asked and Chris eagerly nodded at him.

By seven, Chris was already settled on the back seat and Eddie was locking the front door before he joined him in the car. It would take them around half an hour to arrive at Chris’s school which means another thirty minutes of Chris’s storytime.

When they arrived at the school, Eddie parked his car on a handicap spot and helped Chris out of the car. “Carla will pick me up later, right?” Chris asked before he went inside the school building.

“No, Chris. It’s my day off today. I’ll pick you up later, okay?” He answered.

“Sweet!” Chris exclaimed, making Eddie chuckles in return. Chris went inside the school building after telling him that he loved him and Eddie answered him back in Spanish. After watching his son disappeared from behind the school door, Eddie went back to his truck and drove it away from school zone.

Just like any other Thursday, today would be Eddie’s day off at work. The schedule was arranged specifically by Bobby, his fire captain so he could attend a weekly VA meeting group in the community center.

Eddie was against the idea at first, he told Bobby that he was fine. He did not need supporting group back when he was in Texas, he clearly does not need one in California too. But then, Shannon his estranged wife appeared back to his and Christopher’s life out of the blue.

They tried to get back together because it would be better for Christopher if he has both of his parents in his life. The thought they would be able to fix their relationship and Eddie was ecstatic when he heard that Shannon was pregnant again. Out of a sudden, Shannon slapped him with a divorce paper and he ended up almost killing someone in a street fight.

The news didn’t escape Bobby and Eddie remembered breaking down when Bobby tried to set him straight. Bobby was kind enough to ignore his violation, but he demanded Eddie to attend a therapy session with a psychologist. Eddie tried, but it did not work, he still had so much anger inside of him and Bobby encouraged him to visit a VA meeting.

Eddie was reluctant at first but he was welcomed with an open hand the first time he arrived at the community center. He was content to see people who shared similar stories with him, and he learned that he was not the only one who was struggling after going back from deployment.

After two tours in Afghanistan, Eddie came back with a silver star and haunting nightmares. He had trouble expressing his anger, and it led him to street fighting. After several meetings, Eddie finally told them his story and he finally felt good after five years back from a war zone.

He performed well at work, and he finally managed to process his feelings, which means no more snapping or street fighting. Bobby told him that he was proud of him and Eddie could stop going to the meetings if he wanted to. He did not, though. He kept coming back to the meetings because he wants to help other people. He tried to help them as much as he could, he came early to help to fix up the meeting room, he helped to bring snacks and drinks, he even helped to conduct the meeting sometime.

Five minutes before eight, he arrived at the community center and parked his car in the parking spot. There were two cars parked not far from him which he found odd. Usually, Mark, an ex-army captain who was working for their local VA was the only one that arrived earlier than him. Eddie arrived early to help him around and he honestly enjoyed Mark’s company. Mark’s car was parked beside him but an unknown black Jeep Rubicon was parked on the other side of the parking spot.

Eddie whistled as he saw the sweet ride, it looked brand new and Eddie bet it would cost a fortune to have. After eyeing the car, he stepped inside the community center with both hands holding bags of snacks and drinks. The room was still empty, but he saw Mark was talking with another man across the room. He was going to greet the two of them but stopped when he finally had a good look at the person talking to Mark.

“Eddie! There you are!” Mark said when he heard Eddie enter the room. “We have a new member today. His name is…” and suddenly Eddie was back in Afghanistan.

***

_It was his second tour as an army medic in Afghanistan. He finished his first tour six months after Shannon gave birth to Christopher and after a year living in Texas, he decided to enlist for another tour. Eddie loved Christopher with all his heart but Eddie was not happy in Texas. Raising Christopher was hard, but it was worth it and Eddie could not help himself but thinking there was something missing there._

_He fought with Shannon almost every night, and he was weary most of the time. He could not explain what was happening to him, so he took the easy way out and went back to Afghanistan. Inside, he cursed himself for leaving his eighteen months old baby behind, but Eddie knew something was very wrong with him when he thought being in Afghanistan is better than being with his family in Texas._

_Eddie called home every time he had the opportunity, hoping to see his son but he was mostly greeted by Shannon and her jibes. He could tell that Shannon hated him for reenlisting but could not care less. He begged her to see Christopher and his day became brighter when he saw his boy growing._

_It was supposed to be a rescue mission. As an army medic, Eddie was station in one of the most secured barracks in the region along with other higher-ranking officers. Usually, he would stay within the barrack’s area and treated wounded soldiers that were brought to him but today was different._

_Fifteen minutes ago, they received a message that a crossfire occurred on the outskirts of the city. Three died and two people were wounded but transporting the wounded to the medical barrack was not possible because the team combat medic perished in the crossfire and there was no way to stabilize the wounded for transport. Eddie's team has to come and get the wounded themselves._

_There were five of them including the pilot that was sent for extraction. Crossfire was already ended, therefore, the extraction should happen with no disruption. It did not take a long time to arrive at the crossfire point, and they managed to stabilize the wounded in less than five minutes._

_In minute ten, they were already up in the air and heading home safely. Everyone was at ease, they even joked around with the wounded. It was supposed to be an easy day but suddenly someone yelled “INCOMING!” and then everything went black._

_***_

_Eddie woke up and all he saw was fire and smoke. He heard his colleagues groaning in pain, and he could not see with his right eyes. He could feel both of his hands and legs but he could not stand. It hurt so badly._

_He could not see clearly, but he could hear them loud and clear, he could hear people yelling in a foreign language. It was an ambush and they were trapped. He could hear them getting close, but Eddie could not move to reach for a gun. He supposed this would be it._

_He would not make it back to Christopher. Oh, God. Christopher was only eighteen months old, and he was already an orphan. Eddie cursed at himself for reenlisting._

_He tried to move his body, but he could feel his legs were stuck. He was trapped under the pieces of the chopper, and he could not move. He heard one of his colleagues yelled, trying to check whether they were dead or not. “I’m here! I’m stuck!” He yelled as he tried to sit up and push the metal away._

_He could hear the ruckus getting nearer, and he became more frantic. He had to get away, so he could defend himself._

_And then, he heard them. He heard Humvees approaching fast and then a crossfire happened. He did not know what happen, but he tried to fight it when he felt a hand on his shoulder._

_“Easy, easy!” He heard a man said and he relaxed right away. “We’ll get you out.” He continued and suddenly Eddie felt the weight on his legs were being lifted. “Can you walk?” The man asked him._

_“I can’t see.” Eddie answered._

_“Your eyes are covered with blood.” The man explained and Eddie felt his cap being removed before lukewarm water is poured on his head. The water washed out the blood on his face and his vision is back. He looked around and stopped when he was greeted with a blonde man with a big childish grin on his face._

_“Way better. Welcome back, soldier.” The man said as he put a water bottle inside his bag. The man said something but Eddie could not hear him. He felt like he was in a trance and he was greeted by the angel. Angel of death most likely because his face was grimy and his hands were bloody._

_“Come on, let’s get you out of here.” His angel of death said and suddenly Eddie felt his body being lifted. The man put Eddie’s arms on his shoulder and he help him stood on his two legs. Eddie could see other soldiers surrounding them for safety and they hastily moved to one of the Humvees in front of them. He felt like being dragged and in a minute, he was put inside the Humvees. He finally felt like he could breathe again._

_In a couple of minutes, the crossfire ended and he could hear an order to wrap things up. Three soldier joined him inside the Humvee and suddenly they were moving. “M-my team…” He said, trying to get their attention._

_“There are two other survivors, they are inside other cars,” One answered. “The rest are dead in the crash.”_

_Eddie cursed, this morning he just shared breakfast and now his team was gone. He suddenly felt dizzy, and he could see black spots on his vision. “You’re okay, man?” The soldier beside him asked and suddenly it was black again._

_“MOVE FASTER, KID! HE’S LOSING CONSCIOUSNESS.”_

***

_Eddie woke up in a cold and damp room. He could smell the coppery scent of blood and the surface underneath him was cold. When he looked around, he realized that he was being laid on a kitchen counter. He tried to pull himself up and suddenly he felt a hand in his arm, steadying him._

_“You’re awake.” He said. The man in front of him was tall, he had brown hair and his face was covered with beards. There were cuts on his face, but he looked alright. Eddie eyed him silently, and he finally got a glance of the badge on his right arm._

_“SEAL,” he mumbled as he looked around and found his two team members were laid on a coffee table and dining table, both unconscious. There were two other Seal members holding a gun guarding the window and a man sitting on the couch fiddling on his tablet._

_“Indeed. We received a message of ambush, so we have to check on you. Glad you make it out okay.” The man said in a friendly manner. “I’m Rone and they are my team.” He continued, introducing himself._

_“Why we’re here?” He asked, noticing the tense atmosphere in the room._

_“We’re stuck. There was no way we could continue all the way to the barracks without getting ambushed again. We’ve sent word to the hub but the earliest transport out of here is next morning. We tried our best to stabilize your team, but we don’t have combat medic so we could not be sure.” He explained and Eddie nodded._

_“I’m Eddie Diaz. I’m an army medic, I could help.” He said as he tried to get up._

_“Easy, you passed out earlier.” The man, Rone said._

_“It’s normal,” He explained. “I was hit by a blunt object, but it should not be too severe. I’m going to be fine.” He said, and he managed to get up on his feet. After a while, he could finally focus on his surroundings, and he moved to approach his teammates._

_“During extraction, did you take some of our bags?” Eddie asked as he looked over one of his teammates._

_“We only got a few.” Another man said. He introduced himself as Silva as he handed Eddie one of the bags._

_“Great, at least we have some kit.” He said as he opened the bag and started checking on his teammates. He was relieved to find them both in a stable condition and not so severe wounds. They would be okay._

_“They are okay, thanks to you guys,” Eddie said. “Thank you. If you want, I could also check on you in case any of you has wounds.” He offered and they gladly accepted._

_It only took about half an hour for Eddie to patch everyone in the room. There were no severe wounds found and one of the guys, named Smooth Dog, required a stitch on his right leg from bullet scrape._

_“Is this all?” He asked after finishing Smooth Dog’s stitches._

_“Kid and Bub are keeping watch on the roof. Bub’s rotation is in two hours and Kid is in six hours.” He said._

_“If that’s okay, I like to check on them.” He offered and Rone nodded._

_Silva guided him to the rooftop where two people settled on the end of the roof with a gun ready. Silva called one of them and Eddie did a quick check upon him. He was okay, there was no single wound visible. Bub went back to his post and Silva called the other one, Kid, to approach him. It was his angel of death._

_“You’re awake.” The childish grin appeared back on his face as he approached Eddie and Eddie felt a tingle in his stomach. Adrenaline, he thought._

_“This is Eddie,” Silva said. “Eddie, this is Kid.” He gestured at the tall blonde. What is it with Seal team and their horrible nickname?! Rone? Smooth Dog? Bub? KID?! It was just ridiculous._

_It was supposed to be a quick check-up but Kid turned out worse than anyone else. “There is shrapnel on your scalp, but it wasn’t too deep. And I think your old bandages need fixing.” Eddie said._

_“God damn it, Kid! We told you to change your bandages every time.” Silva scolded, and he could hear Bub laughed from his post. Kid actually pouted at them._

_“I forgot! Geez, Louise. I could hardly feel anything.” Kid retorted._

_Eddie was going to ask Silva to replace Kid while he tended to his wound when he felt Kid pushed him to the ground hard. He heard a gunshot and the kid groaned. “Incoming attack from 6 o clock!” Kid said loudly with a grunt. “Stay here!” He said to Eddie before he crawled back to his post and got his gun._

_Gunshots echoed in the night and he could hear grunts and shouts from the other side. Rone and Smooth Dog joined them on the rooftop and after a moment, they managed to neutralize the enemy. “Everyone okay?” Rone asked his team._

_“Kid got shot on his back,” Silva said and Kid glared at him as if he was a snitch._

_“I’m fine, Cap. Just small wound.” Kid answered._

_“A small wound is still a wound,” Rone said bluntly. “Silva, change post with Kid. Eddie if you please check on him?” He asked and Eddie nodded eagerly._

_They went back inside the house, and Rone pointed them to the bathroom so Eddie could use the sink to sanitize his tools. The bathroom was decent and Eddie gestured Kid to sit on the toilet after he closed it. The light was dim but it was enough for Eddie to perform an emergency operation._

_“Shirt off,” Eddie said as he went to the sink to sanitize his instrument. He almost dropped his scalpel when he saw Kid took off his clothes. Kid was big, bigger, and taller than him. And now, after he took off his clothes, Eddie could see how big he was. His muscles were divine and Eddie was sure his abs could be used as a washing board._

_‘EDDIE, GET A GRIP!’ He told himself as he regained his focus. There was no way he found this man attractive, he was straight for God’s sake._

_“So, Kid?” Eddie asked as he approached the other man with his clean instruments. Eddie started by checking on his scalp and moved quickly to remove the shrapnel that he found earlier._

_“It’s a nickname.” The other man answered and Eddie could feel his entire body warming due to their closeness. He was standing between Kid’s thighs, and he could feel his breath on his skin. “I’m the youngest and the newest member. So I’m the kid.” He explained._

_“You guys really love nicknames, huh?” Eddie joked as he cleaned the gash on the scalp._

_“Sometimes, detachment with home helps.” Kid said grimly. “Even calling their name would bring them back home, it could be an unwanted distraction.” He explained and Eddie nodded in understanding as he started to stitch the wound on Kid’s scalp._

_“What about Smooth Dog?” He asked out of curiosity and Kid laughed. Eddie chuckled and put one of his hands on Kid’s shoulder to stop him from moving. “Don’t move, I don’t want to stab your head-on accident.”_

_“Steve is a horn dog. New city, new girl.” Kid said. “Real smooth, too. His all-time record was seducing one girl in five minutes.”_

_“Kabul, lock up your daughters.” Eddie joked as he finished his stitches and went back to the sink to wash his instruments before moving on to tend another wound._

_When he stole a glance at Kid, he realized that the wound on Kid’s back was directed to him. If Kid was not quick enough, he would be dead by now. “T-thank you for saving me, by the way.” He said._

_“It’s okay, man. Better me than you, you have to go back to your kid.” He answered and Eddie stopped._

_“How do you know I have a kid?” He asked in disbelief._

_“I know that look, seen it countless times. There’s nothing more haunting than seeing the face of desperate parents thinking about their children back home.” He explained nonchalantly._

_“I see. Thank you, though. And yes, you’re right. I have a little boy, one and a half years old. Christopher.” He said and Kid nodded._

_“I’ll better make sure you come back to your kid in once piece.” Kid said. “Christopher needs his father back.” He continued, and Eddie felt his whole body shook._

_Just one sentence from Kid and his whole resolve crumbled. Eddie suddenly felt the dread of being home disappeared in an instant and he longed to go back. He must go back. He would! He promised to himself that this would be his last deployment, he would not leave Christopher again._

_“You okay?” Kid asked when he saw him standing frozen in front of the sink._

_“Y-yeah! Yeah, just got lost in my thoughts for a moment.” He answered as he went back to approach Kid._

_“So, now I know Smooth Dog is Steve. Do I get to know your real name?” Eddie asked._

_“Of course. It’s not like we keep it hidden or something.” Kid said with a chuckle. “The name…”_

***

“… Evan Buckley.” Mark finished and Eddie gulped.

***

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Tyrone S. "Rone" Woods, Jack Silva, Glen "Bub" Doherty are members of US Navy SEAL from the movie 13 Hours: The Secret Soldiers of Benghazi and Steve "Smooth Dog" McGarrett is a character from the series Hawai Five-O if anyone wondering


	2. Los Angeles, California

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The man in front of him was different and Eddie could not help but relive the memories of his past.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> It's a smutty chapter but I'm an inexperienced writer so I don't know whether this is good or not. Enjoy :) Don't forget to leave comments so I can hear your feedback.
> 
> By the way, English is not my native language so I'm sorry if you see grammatical errors here and there.

Buck smiled at him but it did not reach his eyes. He extended his hand towards Eddie and he gladly met him in the middle for a handshake.

“Buck, this is -”

“Eddie Diaz.” Buck said before Mark finished his sentence and Eddie could feel the tingles reappeared.

“No way, you know each other?” Mark beamed after Buck let go of his hand. Buck said with a small smile on his face and Eddie somehow could still feel Buck’s grip on him. _He remembered that strong hand once left an ugly bruise on his hips._

“We do. We crossed paths in Kabul, six years ago?” Buck answered as he glanced at Eddie.

“Seven years,” Eddie corrected, cursing at himself for doing so. He did not know why he had to correct Buck for such trivial information but somehow Eddie felt a pang of pain hit his chest when Buck overlooked the details of their encounters. _And here he was stuck in the memory of their unforgettable night._

“Yeah, seven. Sorry, never been good with numbers.” Buck said nonchalantly and Eddie shrugged, trying to keep his cool.

The three of them chatted for a bit before Mark excused himself and started to tidy up the place, leaving Eddie and Buck on their own. “Back in the homeland, I see?” Eddie said. “I didn’t know you live in Los Angeles.”

“I didn’t exactly tell you,” Buck answered with a smile. It was odd, Buck used to have a big dopey grin but now he looked so different. “And no, I just visited but my older sister forced me to stay with her here. I’ve been living on her couch for almost a month now.” He answered.

“Well, welcome to the City of Angels,” Eddie said and he wanted to punch himself for throwing such a corny line. Buck actually chuckled at him so Eddie thought it was a good sign.

“Yeah, might as well enjoy the sun,” Buck commented. “I thought you lived in El Paso?” He asked and Eddie felt like a blushing teenager. He almost leaped into Buck’s arms and bashfully said _‘you remember?’_ at him.

“Moved here three years ago,” Eddie answered. “Fresh start for everyone,” He supplied. “Being in El Paso with everyone can be a bit suffocating sometimes,” He continued.

“I feel that. After coming back, I’ve been on the roads for three months. Checking on things I missed.” Buck said. “Somehow everything is different but remains the same.”

“You’ll get used to it.” He reassured the taller man. “It could be hard at first, but you’ll eventually adapt.”

“Yeah, you’re right. I only miss seven years. I’ll get there.” Buck said but somehow he sounded like he did not believe himself.

“So you’ve been on tours all these years?” He asked, honestly surprised by the information. He honestly never heard someone last that long, especially in the Navy SEAL. Eddie was only an army medic and he only lasted for four years before he called it quit.

“Yeah. The first time we met was my first tour with the team. That tour lasted for two years, around three months after the day we met and I got two months off.” He supplied. “After that, two years in Kunduz, back on mainland again for another two months. Two and a half year in Tehran and I got three months off. My last tour is in Aleppo, but it was cut short after a year.” He trailed, and his vacant expression was back.

“You’ve been busy,” Eddie commented. “But I’m glad that you’re okay and back on the mainland now.” He said, giving Buck a sincere smile.

“I guess so.” He mumbled.

They fell into a light conversation and Eddie was truly enjoying himself. He invited Buck to join him in setting up the snack table and Buck eagerly accepted. By the time they were done tidying up the places, other Veterans arrived and they silently split out of each other. Eddie went to greet his friends while Buck went back to talk with Mark.

At nine, the meeting started, and Mark gave Buck the opportunity to introduce himself and Eddie could finally observe him closely. Buck looked troubled but he was good at maintaining his posture.

He remembered younger Buck, the one that he saw in Kabul seven years ago. Younger Buck was carefree and happy even when they were in the middle of a warzone. Eddie remembered Buck talking animatedly with him ten minutes after he shot a man dead on the head. Younger Buck was dangerous and deadly, but he was expressive and he had that big dopey grin that made everyone around him smile. Younger Buck was big and sturdy, but he was kind and cordial. He remembered Silva calling Buck a human version of Golden Retriever puppy.

This Buck was different. He was still as big and strong, but he looked reserved. His moves were practiced and other than the talk he had with Eddie before, he did not hear Buck shared any personal information to the other Veterans except his military background. He looked as if he calculated every move he made and he kept glancing at the door and window.

This Buck showed all the telltale signs of a Post-traumatic stress disorder however Eddie was no shrink and it was not his place to diagnose Buck. He was genuinely concerned about the other man, but he could tell that no one shares the same concern because Buck acted so naturally, people would believe him if he told him that Buck was always a reserved person. Eddie has seen the real Buck before, and he did not like the Buck he saw now. But Eddie was conflicted, what if this Buck was actually the real Buck and the one he met during his deployment was just traits he developed for a coping mechanism.

Eddie could not tell, and he did not like this. Eddie loathed the fact that Buck clouded his mind and he hated the gutted feeling on his chest every time Buck threw a fake smile at other people. He hated the fact that seeing Buck right now made him sadder than all of the countless meetings he spent with Shannon trying to finalize their divorce. Which hasn’t been finalized, yet. Eddie was genuinely concerned about this man in front of him and he found it alarming. He really needed to get his thoughts sorted out.

The meeting ended at twelve and Eddie saw other Veterans started to approach Buck to give him a personal welcome. Buck smiled and greeted each one of them eagerly, he even saw Buck exchanged his numbers with some of the younger Veterans. Eddie was glad that at least some people offered Buck their companionship and he was sure there would be times where Buck would seek out their camaraderie. He experienced it before and he was grateful. He remembered there were times where he could not talk to Bobby or Chimney or even Hen and Shannon but he overcame his troubles with his brothers in arms. They might not come from the same battalion or serve at the same time, but they understood him and it was helping.

After Buck bid his goodbyes with the other Veterans, Eddie went too approached him slowly, giving Buck plenty of time to see him approaching. The other man smiled at him as he fixed his posture, silently welcoming Eddie to his side. “How is it? The meeting, I mean.” Eddie asked.

“Good. Better than I expected. And everyone is so nice and welcoming.” He said.

“Glad you think so. You’re welcome to come again, you know. The support group is a weekly session, same time same place. But if you require something more, anything, you can contact Mark.” He said.

“What about you? Can I contact you?” Buck asked and in a second, Eddie saw a glimpse of the younger Buck and he chuckled in return.

“Of course, here. Give me your phone, and I’ll put my numbers in.” He said and Buck smirked, an actual sinister yet playful smirk as he handed Eddie his phone. Eddie dialed his number and pressed on call, he could feel his phone vibrated not long after. He took his phone from his pocket with his free hand and showed it to Buck. “Now we have each other’s number.”

“Good,” Buck answered as he received his phone back from Eddie. They fell silent as they fiddled with their own phones, saving each other’s number in their contact book when Mark came to approach them.

“Buck, you got a minute?” He asked and Buck nodded before he excused himself from Eddie and joined Mark outside of the building.

It was odd for Mark to approach Buck first, usually, the VA officer would let the Veterans approached them on their expenses so they did not feel suffocated. Mark did not approach Eddie when he first came into the VA support group. It took Eddie a month to muster the courage to approach the wise-looking man and told him that he needs help.

Eddie tried to suppress his curiosity and turned his attention to the empty room. He started folding the chairs and stacked it on one corner of the room after gathering the scraps of their snacks and drinks. It took him around twenty minutes to finish tidying up the room before Mark and Buck joined him back inside.

“Oh, Eddie. I’m sorry. I didn’t mean to make you clean by yourself.” Mark said as he looked pitifully at Eddie, making him smile in return.

“It’s fine, man. You’re preoccupied and I decide to help.” He answered. “Well, I’m about done here. I’ll see you next week.” Eddie said as he excused himself from the two men and he heard Buck also excused himself.

He exited the building with Buck in tow but stopped after several steps. “Hey, Buck… I’ve been meaning to talk to you about what happened.” He did not know what possessed him to talk about their encounters seven years ago.

“What about it?” Buck asked as he eyed Eddie curiously.

“You don’t mind if we keep it a secret, do you?” Eddie said hesitantly.

“A secret?”

“Yeah, I… I think it is best that no one knows what happened before.” He said and he felt his breath hitched when he saw a flash of hurt on Buck’s face before he put on his stoic expression.

“Sure, Eddie. It’s not mine to share.” He said grimly.

***

_Eddie checked on his watch after he told Buck to turn his position so Eddie could examine his back. The bullet was lodged on Buck’s left shoulder blade, but the wound was not severe and there was not much blood flowing from the wound. Eddie thought the bullet must hit the edge of Buck’s vest before it hit his skin._

_He softly pressed around Buck’s shoulder and chest to check for a sign that the bullet was deeper than he thought but he came up with nothing. “The bullet is still inside your shoulder. We have to get it out.” Eddie said._

_“Okay,” Buck answered nonchalantly._

_“You got any lighter?” Eddie asked and Buck nodded as he took out a pack of cigarettes and lighter from his left pocket. He took the lighter and started heating his tweezers with its small flame. When he was sure that his tweezers are sterile, he put the lighter aside and held Buck’s shoulder firmly._

_“It’s going to sting, okay?” He asked as he started to push the tweezers inside the bullet wound. He could hear Buck grunted, but he remained still and it did not take a long time for him to pull out the bullet. The bullet came out as a whole, which meant a good sign because he was sure that there were no scraps remained inside Buck’s body that might cause infection._

_“You’re lucky it didn’t break inside,” Eddie said as he showed Buck the bloody bullet, making Buck laughed in return. Buck showed no sign of pain on his face and Eddie was impressed. No matter how strong someone, a bullet wound should still hurt, right? He thought before putting the bullet and tweezers in the sink and started sanitizing his needles._

_“The wound was not that big, we can stitch it to close it.” He said and Buck nodded as he tried to move his shoulder._

_“No, no! Don’t move too much.” Eddie scolded and Buck grinned innocently._

_“Just checking, man.”_

_Eddie started cleaning the wound with alcohol before stitching up Buck’s shoulder. “So, what about you? No kids?” He asked to fill the silence in the room._

_“Nah, I love kids but I’m not good with them,” Buck said. “And they’re so vulnerable, so breakable. It’s scary.” He commented, making Eddie laugh in return._

_“Your lady must be so disappointed with you.” He commented._

_“Nah, got no one with me. I don’t think settling down is for me.” He said._

_“Shut up! You’re still a boy, for God’s sake. You just haven’t found the right person.” Eddie commented as he swatted at Buck’s arm lightly._

_“I’m twenty-one, please and thank you,” Buck answered, and Eddie widened his eyes in shock. Buck was so young, he heard about Navy SEAL hiring officer as young as seventeen years old but he never met one that was as young as Buck. Not one that looked like he had been accustomed to war for years._

_“Geez, you’re seriously still a kid.” Eddie joked as he finished stitching up Buck’s wound and moved over to reach for a bandage to cover Buck’s wound. Buck actually pouted at his comment._

_“What about you? You found the right person, already?” Buck asked, looking up to search for his gaze._

_“N-no…” Eddie lied. “It’s just Chris and me.” He clarified and Eddie startled himself for not telling Buck that he was married. He left his wedding ring at home, so he could not lose it in Afghanistan but he always told people that he was married. Never in his life had Eddie felt the need to cover for his marriage, Eddie did not know what made him lie to Buck now._

_“I see,” Buck said, his voice incredibly low and Eddie felt his whole body shivered._

_“Now we just need to change your old bandages,” Eddie said as he eyed the sloppy bandage on Buck’s right chest._

_Eddie made him turned back to face him and he stood between Buck’s thighs. He worked as fast as he could to clean Buck’s old wound and changed it with a new bandage but it was not quick enough. He could feel Buck's piercing stare on him as if he was studying Eddie’s movement._

_“All done,” Eddie said as he put his tools aside and moved away from Buck but he felt Buck’s strong grip on his wrist._

_“Eddie…” He called him and Eddie never heard his name being called in such an intimate manner. He could not move and the last thing he knew, Buck stood up and pinned him to the wall, kissing the hell out of him._

_Buck’s kiss was demanding and rough and Eddie could not help but moan as he gripped at Buck’s shoulder, damned with Buck’s wounds. He unconsciously started to kiss back and moaned when Buck bit at his lower lip hard. He retaliated by grabbing Buck’s hair hard when he felt Buck pushed his tongue inside his mouth._

_Eddie broke the kiss to breathe, but Buck chased after his lips eagerly. Their forehead touch and they could feel each other’s breath, Eddie was lost at Buck’s eyes. His eyes darkened, and he could see Buck’s pupil dilating. Buck pressed his body to Eddie’s and Eddie could feel Buck’s clothed crotch being pressed to his thighs._

_“I’ve never been with a man,” Eddie admitted breathlessly and he could see Buck smirk at him._

_“I’ll be gentle,” Buck whispered before he pulled Eddie in for another kiss. He kissed more gently but it still left Eddie breathless because it still held the same intensity and passion as his previous kiss. Buck did not ask, he took whatever he could and Eddie’s mind was clouded with lust._

_Eddie surrendered himself to Buck’s touches and kisses. He could not bring himself to refute the blonde man when he decided he would take Eddie’s anal virginity. He did not ask whether Eddie was okay with it but Eddie was too blinded to refuse. He could not think about anything else. He just wanted Buck._

_Eddie felt Buck hastily took off Eddie’s belt and with one pull, Eddie’s cargo pants fell to the floor. He felt Buck firmly gripped at his hips and he was slowly being pulled away from the wall. Buck settled back on the toilet and pulled Eddie to straddle his lap._

_Buck broke their kiss and started to trail his lips down Eddie’s neck and shoulder. Eddie was holding unto him tightly, and he could feel Buck’s hands started to massage his buttocks. He moaned loudly when he felt Buck bit on his shoulder hard. It would leave marks definitely, but Eddie could not care less._

_‘Too many clothes!’ Eddie screamed inside his mind and started to take off his shirt. In seconds, he was left with nothing but his brief, and Buck continued his ministration on Eddie’s chest. Buck playfully licked his right nipple and Eddie groaned due to the ministration. He brought his hands to Eddie’s sight and told Eddie to wet his fingers. Eddie was never one to follow orders but Buck’s words were final and he diligently licked at Buck’s digits._

_Eddie locked his gaze at Buck as he put Buck’s fingers inside his mouth and sucked on the digits making the blonde man groaned underneath him. “You don’t know how good you look right now,” Buck whispered as he watched Eddie and he could do nothing but whine when he felt a hard smack on his buttock._

_Buck pulled his digits away and Eddie whined in return. He did not know what possessed his body for him to whining to another man but Eddie was distracted when he felt Buck pulled his brief down and he felt the wet digits on the rim of his hole._

_“Buck…” He moaned hoarsely when he felt Buck pushed one of his fingers inside his hole._

_His whole body stiffening when Buck pushed his finger in. This is the first time he ever played with his hole during sex, even when he was jerking himself off, he never touched his hole. Buck softly kisses his neck and shoulder blade, sucking on the spot between his ear and suddenly his body melted into a putty._

_Buck pushed his finger inside of Eddie and after a while, one finger became two and two fingers turned into three fingers. Eddie moaned in pleasure when he felt Buck twisted his fingers inside and hit his prostate. Eddie felt a jolt of electricity all over his body and he came, untouched, soiling both of Buck’s and his stomach._

_Buck smirked at him as he unbuckled his own belt and took his hardening member out. Buck was big, bigger than Eddie, and Eddie gulped at the sight. Buck took one of Eddie’s hands and guided it to his cock. Eddie was straight, he was never attracted to another man but right now, he wanted nothing but massaging Buck’s cock._

_Buck groaned when Eddie gripped at his cock and started to pump it. Up and down, up and down, Eddie could see precum started to ooze out of Buck’s cock. “Suck me.” Buck ordered and Eddie meekly stood up from Buck’s lap and kneeled between Buck’s thighs._

_He never did this before. He was always on the receiving end, but he recalled the pleasure he felt when Shannon gave him a blowjob before. JESUS! Shannon! He was cheating on Shannon with another man. He was going to be fucked by a stranger in the middle of a warzone while his wife is waiting for him in Texas._

_Eddie felt Buck’s grip on his hair and in an instant, Shannon disappeared from his thoughts and he surged forward to take Buck’s cock inside his mouth. He started from the tip, licking the hard rod sloppily and sucking hard. Buck’s grip on his hair tightened as he started to thrust his hips forward, fucking Eddie’s mouth diligently._

_Eddie could tell that Buck was nearing his climax but Buck stopped him from sucking his cock. He pulled Eddie back to his lap and rubbed his cock on Eddie’s ass. Eddie moaned when Buck pushed the tip of his cock in and Buck silenced him with a kiss._

_Buck was big, and he never been penetrated before. It took them a while until Buck was completely buried to the hilt. They hold unto each other as Eddie adjusted himself and Buck groaned as he savored the feeling of Eddie’s tight, so tight, hole._

_Buck started to move after he felt Eddie relaxing on top of him and after a while, he started to found his rhythm. He started assaulting Eddie’s prostate and Eddie felt his toe curled in pleasure. Eddie unconsciously started to move his hips to meet Buck’s thrust and he could feel Buck’s hand on his own cock._

_Eddie would not last long. The pleasure of Buck’s cock hitting his prostate on and on, matched with his hand on Eddie’s cock was just too much. He reached his climax when Buck thrust upward hard and he moaned when he felt Buck reached his own climax inside him._

_“Fuck…” Buck moaned as he ejaculated inside him and Eddie chuckled, trying to regain his breath. “You sure you’re a virgin?” Buck joked, but Eddie could not answer him as he felt Buck’s seed inside him._

_Buck pulled out of him completely and he started to help Eddie to clean up the mess they made. They were lucky they were inside a bathroom so they stole a moment for a quick shower. After they were done, Buck led him out of the bathroom. Eddie was greeted by knowing smirks from Buck’s team members._

_“Damn, Kid’s getting some.” Steve, Smooth Dog, teased as he raised one of his eyebrows playfully making Eddie blushed in return. Buck chuckled at the other man and Eddie was once again astounded. There was no ounce of shame on Buck’s face, and he acted like whatever sinful activity they were doing before was completely normal and acceptable._

_“Cut it out, boys,” Buck said as he guided Eddie to one of the empty couches and handed Eddie a bottle of water. “You’re okay?” He asked Eddie when he winced as he tried to settle on the worn-out couch. Eddie nodded as he drank the water. His bottom was aching but it was delightfully achy and he basked on the attention Buck gave him._

_This was not okay, he thought as Shannon and Chris made their reappearance inside his mind._

***

“B-buck, I hope I didn’t offend you or something,” Eddie said.

“No, no. Eddie, not at all.” Buck said. “I understand.” He continued as he eyed the ring on Eddie’s finger. Buck knew he was a married man now and somehow Eddie did not want that.

“No! No! It’s not like that. We’re getting a divorce. I just didn’t want to make it worse.” He tried hard to explain, and Eddie seriously could not understand himself.

“Hey, relax. I understand, really.” Buck said reassuringly and Eddie nodded.

“Thank you, Buck,” Eddie said, and he suddenly felt the urge to leave. He needed to leave or else he would do something stupid, again. “I-I got to go…” He said. “I’ll see you, next week?” He said hopefully, and Buck actually smiled at him. Eddie beamed when he saw Buck’s old smile, he was standing in front of old Buck again.

“I’ll see you next week,” Buck repeated as a goodbye. He watched Buck go to the black Jeep Rubicon on the other side of the parking spot. He gave him a small wave before he settled back inside his car and left the community center.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> If anyone wondering:  
> Kunduz is one of the conflict cities in Afghanistan.  
> Tehran is a conflict city in Iran.  
> Aleppo is a conflict city in Syria.
> 
> Navy SEAL Buck is busy AF


	3. SuperBuck

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Chris wanted a bedtime story of his favorite hero, SuperBuck

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This story does not comply with 9-1-1's actual storyline and both characters might be a little bit out of character. I am a sucker for badass Navy Seal Buck. Honestly, the quarantine is driving me crazy and I just need a little fluff story to brighten my day.
> 
> English is not my native language and I don't have someone to beta-ed this so I am sorry if there were grammatical errors here and there. I hope you enjoy the story :)

“Daddy…” Eddie was pulled back from his thoughts when he felt a soft tap on his arm.

He was laying on Christopher’s bed with Chris was safely tucked in his arms as he held onto 'the Lion, the Witch, and the Wardrobe’ novel book. He was reading a chapter for Christopher just like any other day and since last Monday they had started reading ‘The Chronicle of Narnia’ series. It seemed that he was once again got lost in his thoughts.

“Yes? Yes, Chris?” He asked as he looked down at his son only to see concerns on Chris’s face. It was not a good look at his son and Eddie felt the urge to erase it right away.

“You stopped,” Chris stated with a slight pout on his face and Eddie smiled apologetically at him.

“I’m sorry, Chris. My mind went somewhere else,” He said as he patted Chris’s back.

“Will you tell me?” Chris asked hopefully.

“Of course,” he said as he closed the book and placed it on the nightstand before settling down on the bed with Chris practically on top of him. Ever since Eddie started joining the VA support group, his relationship with Christopher became stronger than ever. Bobby urged Eddie to talk to Chris about his feelings, leaving out the details that did not suit his age and they became so much closer ever since. They both promised that they would tell each other everything because it was only them against the world. Eddie was content.

“You remember Buck? From the stories?” Eddie asked and Chris beamed instantly.

“Of course, Daddy!” He chirped making Eddie chuckled in return.

How could Christopher forget Buck? Buck was his hero, and he made it very clear with the drawing of SuperBuck that was stuck on the wall. In Christopher’s words, Buck was his hero because Buck brought his father home from war and he made his father a bad-ass. Eddie made sure he reprimanded Chris for using such word but he could not help the chuckle that follows.

“You know, today I met Buck at the VA meeting,” Eddie told him and Christopher’s eyes widened in an instant.

“Really? Dad? Did you say hi?” Chris asked.

“Of course, sweetie. He stays in this city too now.” Eddie stated, and he could see Chris was awestruck.

“Buck finished saving other people?” Chris asked and Eddie nodded. Eddie remembered telling Chris about Buck the first time, Chris was around four at that time. He was instantly hooked, and he demanded to meet Buck but Eddie told him that Buck was still saving other people in the war so they could not see him at the time.

Eddie did not have any of Buck’s pictures either so Chris could not see the actual Buck but Chris was determined. He remembered Chris ordering him to sit in the living room with him and described Buck, so he could draw his picture. Eddie was amused and gladly agreed.

“Yes, he’s done. Maybe, if you’re good, you can meet Buck in the future,” He said, silently mocking himself for using Buck as leverage to make Christopher behave, not that his son was a bad kid, but he could not help the giddiness that settled inside his chest when he saw Chris nodded in determination.

“Can you tell me Buck's story?” Chris asked.

“Which one?”

“The one where you work together like Batman and Robin,” Chris said. Eddie playfully commented that Buck was a very good Robin and Chris instantly glared at him. “BUCK IS BATMAN, DADDY! YOU’RE ROBIN.” Chris stated firmly making Eddie pouted in return.

“One Buck story, after that we’ll sleep, okay?” He said, and Chris nodded before resting his head on Eddie’s chest.

***

_It was dawn when they received the transmission from the hub. They spent the night talking and sharing stories with each other. During that free time, Eddie learned more about Rone and Steve before they switched post with Silva and Bub to patrol. All of Buck’s coworkers were decent fellas, even Steve who cursed too much and Bub who was silent most of the time._

_As the youngest of the group, Buck was the sunshine of the team. He always came up with jokes and more than once, he saw Buck baited his coworkers to tease him. Buck always grin when the other ridiculed him, it was as if they knew none of them meant it and it was just a way to ease the tension. Eddie was amused, but less so when the teasing was also directed to him._

_It was not his fault if Rone decided to leave Buck out from patrolling that night and Buck was so warm on the couch. Buck spent his time cleaning his weapons and when he was done, he settled beside Eddie. If there were slight touches here and there, those were all Buck. Not Eddie._

_They learned that there was a sighting of a small commotion 20 miles south of their location and hub would not risk losing another chopper for extraction. Eddie sometimes hated the fact that the military always calculated the cost and benefit of saving someone, it was as if Eddie and his two wounded teammates were nothing but disposable assets. But he understood, they risked losing more lives and it could turn out worse._

_Rone told them the bad news and started discussing with Silva about their escape plan, Buck and Steve were fuming. “Every time! Fucking every damn time!” Steve cursed._

_“Easy, Steve,” Rone said, using Steve’s real name to emphasize his words. “We are more than capable to finish the transport,” Rone stated. “And they agree to meet us halfway to the hub. We just need to clear the spot to make sure that extraction is smooth.”_

_“Pack up, leave nothing behind. Eddie, you ride with Kid and me. Bub, Steve, and Silva will ride the other car.” Rone commanded and everyone was moving efficiently. Buck and Steve worked together to load the wounded inside the bigger Humvee before they went back to load the vehicles with their equipment._

_Bub was still perched on the rooftop, keeping eyes while they were packing up and only after everyone settled inside the cars, Bub went down from the roof and joined the entourage._

_Everyone was tensed, but both Buck and Rone said nothing. It was as if they were used to the situation and Eddie did not want to do anything that might worsen the situation._

_They rode quickly in the direction of the hub and after thirty minutes, they were nearing a civilian town. Buck picked up his bags and stepped out of the car, much to Eddie’s dismay but Rone assured him that it was a standard procedure._

_He glanced out from the window and saw Steve also exited the second car and moved behind the vehicles. Buck stood in front of their car and started walking slowly, examining his surroundings. Eddie could hear his voice and Steve’s from the intercom and the cars started to move slowly behind Buck._

_The town looked like it had been abandoned, the buildings were destroyed and there were scraps of metal and bricks everywhere. He saw Buck had to push the debris aside to clear the road for their cars. Steve on the end of the entourage, diligently made sure that there would be no ambush from their back._

_Buck raised his right hand and clenched his palm out of a sudden, giving them the signal to stop and the tension started to build up again. Rone’s eyes narrowed as he studied Buck and he could tell the others were alerted too._

_“Kid, status,” Rone demanded as he saw Buck kept his hand up._

_“Civilian, 11 o clock. Two counts, one woman, profile undetermined, veil on. Boy, probably four to six years old, wounded.” Buck supplied and Eddie had to squint to see that indeed there were two people in front of them. The mother was wandering around as she carried her son around._

_“Request to approach.” Buck suddenly said and Eddie wanted to tell him no._

_“Too dangerous,” Rone said, declining his request and he heard Buck cursed at Rone. The woman seemed to notice them and froze in her place. He did not know what happen, but Eddie could see Buck was moving closer._

_“Kid, stay on your ground,” Rone said, considering the possibility that the woman was hiding explosives underneath her veil. It was a sick idea but it had happened and they have to be sure._

_“She said that she was only looking for her son. She’s not related to the group.” Buck said._

_“Double check,” Rone demanded and Eddie heard Buck raised his voice a little and addressed the lady in Dari. The lady responded to Buck in dread and Buck signaled them that she was harmless._

_Buck lowered his rifle down and slowly approaching the civilians while telling the other to wait. Buck examined the boy and the mother and she talked, fidgety as she pointed at their two o clocks._

_“She’s looking for her son.” Buck supplied. “Last night, Taliban invaded their neighborhood and took every boy old enough to join the group.” He continued grimly and he could hear curses from the intercom._

_“Okay, we’ll proceed with the extraction,” Rone said, and Buck actually turned to glare at the car._

_“No. We have to save these kids.” He argued, and the two men quickly fell into a heated argument through the intercoms. The other did not chime in and after several strong points from Buck, Rone relented._

_“Jesus, kid! I hate you and your morals sometimes.” Rone commented, and he could hear laughter from the intercom. Eddie was sure this was not the first time it happened._

_“This falls under the domain of counter-terrorism, Capt. It’s our job.” Buck deadpanned and Rone sighed. They parked their cars in a secure location, hiding the wounded in one of the abandoned buildings to make sure they would remain unharmed before regrouping to form their tactics._

_Eddie took his medic kit and helped treat the civilian’s wounds. The lady kept mumbling something at him but Eddie did not understand Dari. Buck informed him that the lady was thanking him and Eddie smiled as he treated their wounds._

_Buck told the lady to go back to her neighborhood after getting more information from her. He also got the direction of her neighborhood so they can transport the boys safely. Buck was fluent in Dari, if this was not a warzone, Eddie would turn to a puddle right away. It was hot to see someone fluent in a foreign language, okay?_

_Much to Eddie’s surprise, Bub handed him a rifle and new cap as they approached the hostage location. Rone told them that he and Bub would monitor the situation from one of the tall buildings nearby to ensure that the rest of the team had clear passage. Eddie was not the best sniper, but he could do it just fine._

_After making sure that everyone was ready, Buck guided them to the tallest building not far from the location where they held the kids hostage. They moved silently and of course, there were a couple of guys stood guard on the rooftop. Buck signaled them to stop before he moved on his own and ambushed the armed guys one by one._

_He choked one of them and knocked him down before moved and did the same to the other guys. Buck moved so gracefully and yet, each of his moves was dangerous. It did not take him a lot of time to clear the rooftop and subdued everyone. Once their mouths are covered and their hands and legs are tied with zip ties, Buck signaled Eddie and Bub to come._

_Bub effectively set his rifle and crouched on his post while Eddie helped Buck gathering the weapons their enemy had before. “Be safe,” Buck said with a grin as he looked at Eddie._

_They shared one stolen kiss before Buck left with a promise that they would see each other again after they were done. Eddie went back to his post beside Bub and he heard Bub chuckled._

_“Lovebirds,” Bub teased softly and Eddie watched Buck joined the rest of the team on the ground. Buck distributed the weapons he gathered before, and he heard Rone started doing a countdown. Eddie was ready._

_Three. Eddie gripped on his rifle harder._

_Two. Eddie started to peek from the scope._

_One. He took a deep breath._

_GO! All hell broke loose._

_Gunshots were heard everywhere and every time he marked an unknown movement, he took a shot. He heard Buck and Steve started to chat in the intercom. They were doing a sick count of their number of kills. These guys were mental._

_Eddie saw it through his scope, one of the wounded was grabbing a gun and aiming at Buck who had his back facing him. Eddie aimed and shot his head. Buck heard the shot, and he looked back to see the dead man. He chuckled as he looked at Eddie and he could see Buck was staring at him through the scope._

_“Thank you, beautiful,” Buck said in the intercom, making the other groans, as he winked at Eddie’s position._

_Bub informed them that the hostages were on the third floor and there were several others with the kids. Steve and Rone moved upstairs and another crossfire started. “I’m hit,” Steve said through the intercom, and Rone quickly pulled him to the walls for cover._

_Eddie and Bub needed to up their game with Steve down. Every time an armed rebel was visible from behind the window, they took a shot. They could hear cries from the children through Steve’s and Rone’s intercom and Eddie felt his heart broke. They were innocent, they were pure and now they had to see a massacre in front of them._

_“All clear.” Silva said after he had made a thorough sweep of the building._

_“Team, status.” Rone said, and everyone answered one by one._

_“I’ll pick up Eddie and Bub for regroups,” Silva said as he moved to their building and both Eddie and Bub started to pack up their gear. When they were done, Silva was right by the door to guide them back. “Nice one, Eddie. You fit right in.” Silva said with a pat on his shoulder before he held his rifle back and led them to the other building._

_As they entered the building, Eddie finally saw closely the damage that has been done. Bodies were sprawled on the floor, and blood was splattered on the walls. It was a mess. They moved quickly to the third floor and Eddie quickly moved to check on Steve._

_“You need an operation,” Eddie said as he examined the other man. He injected a dose of morphine to ease Steve’s pain before securing the wound. “We have to transport him to the hub, fast. The bullet was too deep.” He said to Rone, and the other man nodded silently._

_The hub received words of their action and quickly sent backup. Eddie quickly examined the boys that were held hostages and he let them go after he was sure that everyone was okay. The kids were running outside of the building as fast as they could and their backups gathered them outside the building. They were loaded into a truck and before it drove to the direction that Rone handed to them._

_The boys were smiling as they wave at them, grateful for being saved. “Good job, Diaz,” Rone said as they heard a chopper approaching their location and he could see Buck grinned proudly at him. Buck and Silva started to load Steve in the chopper before going back to carry Eddie’s teammates._

_After Eddie, Steve, and the two others were loaded safely inside the chopper, Buck and Silva retreated from their position to clear the chopper for a take-off. Eddie could not stop looking at Buck through the window of the chopper and he saw Buck smiled at him._

_“I’ll see you again, Eddie.” Buck said through the intercom, before Eddie’s and Steve’s intercom died due to the distance as the chopper fly away from the scene._

***

“Buck is awesome, daddy,” Christopher mumbled sleepily as Eddie tucked him under the blanket after finishing his kid-friendly version of their story.

“He really is,” Eddie said, smiling as he kissed Christopher’s forehead before leaving the bedroom.

***

It was Friday and Eddie was excited. Just like any other Friday, Chris would spend the night with his Abuela, and Eddie would finally have some alone time that he usually spent with his friends at the 118 after finishing their 12 hours shift. He was whistling as he stepped into the station and happily greeted the night crew that just ended their shifts. He made his way to the locker room and greeted Bobby who already started making breakfast on the second floor.

“Hey, folks,” he said happily, addressing Hen who was chilling in the bench and Chimney who was buttoning up his uniform. Hen greeted him with a sweet smile but Chimney only mumbled incoherently in return.

“What’s with the frown? I’ve only been gone for a day, and you’re already this devastated? You have an attachment issue, Chim.” Eddie joked as he opened his locker and put his bag inside it.

“Chim got blue balls and now it’s affecting the team’s morale.” Hen teased, making Eddie laughed in return.

“Shut it, guys. It’s not like that,” Chimney said, trying to defend himself as he started to fix his boots. “It’s just that I haven’t seen Maddie in a month.” He explained.

“Maddie, the dispatcher you’ve been seeing on and off?” Eddie made sure, only to have a shirt being thrown to his face.

“It’s not an on and off relationship, we’re taking things slow,” Chimney stressed. “But she kept canceling on me because his brother just got back from deployment and it would be weird if I pop by because her brother is there.” He continued.

Eddie hummed as he finished putting on his uniform and the three of them went to the second floor to join Bobby in the kitchen. “How long ago you said Maddie’s brother got back?” Eddie asked, reminding himself of a certain someone who also just got back from deployment.

“A month,” Chimney said as he started preparing the dining table. Bobby asked what was wrong with Chimney and Hen gladly provided him some context so he could catch up with the conversation.

“Maddie does not happen to be Maddie Buckley, right?” Eddie guessed, and Chimney’s eyes widened in an instant.

“How do you know? She still goes with Maddie Kendall but yes, her maiden name is Buckley,” Chimney said before thanking Bobby for the breakfast he made.

Eddie laughed by himself, making the other three people in the room raised their eyebrows in confusion. “Oh no, sorry. I should tell you,” he said, looking at his friend’s confused look. “I know Maddie’s brother. His name is Evan,” Eddie explained.

“Damn, small world,” Hen commented and Bobby hummed in agreement.

“Yeah, we cross paths back in Afghanistan, and we met again yesterday during VA meeting,” He added.

“I’ll be damned,” Chimney said to himself. “I never actually met the guy. Is he nice?” He asked hopefully.

“He’s cool,” Eddie answered. “You’ll like the guy, I promise.”

“You know what, Chim? You should invite Maddie to the bar tonight and tell her to bring his brother. At least he won’t feel left out because we have Eddie,” Hen said and Chimney’s eyes widened in excitement.

“Oh yeah, we should do that,” he said as he took out his phone and started texting his girlfriend.

After an hour, Eddie took out his phone and scrolled through his contacts, looking for Buck’s number and sent him a text.

**_So, funny story. Turns out your sister is seeing my co-worker._ **

His phone vibrated five minutes later, notifying him that he had a new incoming message.

**_No wonder Maddie asks me to join her on a night out with her boyfriend and his team._ **

Buck replied, making Eddie smiled in return.

**_Yeah, you should come, Buck. It’ll be fun._ **

He sent shamelessly and he could tell there was a slight blush on his face.

**_If you miss me that much, you can say so, Eddie. Sure, I’ll see you tonight._ **

Buck teased, making Eddie blushed more.

They ended their shift without any hitch. They responded to three calls, one small traffic accident with no severe victims, one choking accident, and a false alarm inside an empty house. Eddie though deemed it as a good day.

The relief team showed up near the end of their shift and everyone went to the shower before they all enter Bobby’s car. Bobby, who used to be an alcoholic always opted out from drinking alcohol and volunteered to be their designated driver home.

It only took around twenty minutes to reach their usual bar, and they quickly swarmed into their booth. Hen offered to buy them their first-round and later she came back with three bottles of beer and mineral water for Bobby.

“So, Eddie. Help me, how is Maddie’s brother?” Chimney asked, making everybody laughed. “Oh, come on, guys. I’m about the meet him for the first time. What if he’s like a scary dude or something.” And they all laughed harder. “Guys! First impression is important, okay?”

“He’s fine, Chim.” Eddie said. “Just relax, okay?” He continued, assuring his friend who smiled when he saw someone approaching their table.

“Maddie, hi!” Chim said as he greeted the lady with a kiss on the cheek. It was Eddie’s first time meeting Maddie. Usually, he only heard her voice from the calls they received, but he was glad to finally put a face on the name.

Eddie should have guessed that Maddie would be a female version of Buck. Same face minus the birthmark (yes, birthmark, Eddie asked Buck seven years ago) on Buck’s left eyebrows, same smile but while Buck was blonde and had blue eyes, Maddie was a brunette with brown eyes.

Chim introduced Maddie to everyone, and they scooted over to give her some space. “It’s good to finally meet you guys,” she said happily and Eddie was amused. He was sure now that Buck’s cheerfulness must be hereditary.

“So, where’s this infamous brother of yours?” Bobby asked. “Chimney could not wait to meet him, he keeps pestering Eddie with questions.” He teased.

“Oh, he’s parking the car,” Maddie said as she glanced at Chimney. “Really, Chim? You’re dying to meet Evan? That’s a first. People usually tried to avoid him.” She joked, making everyone except Chimney laughed.

“Relax, Chim. Eddie said he’s a fine dude,” Hen said, taking pity on Chimney. “And by the way, Eddie, when you said fine, you mean fine fine, or ‘damn, he fine’ fine? She asked, emphasizing the different meanings of both fines.

Eddie was going to answer, but Chimney interrupted him. “Speaking of fine, that’s a beautiful man,” He said as he pointed to the door, and Eddie along with everyone in the table followed Chimney’s direction.

“Where’s the lie? And I like girls,” Hen commented making Maddie laughed in return.

“Evan, over here!” Maddie called and everyone except Eddie gawked when the Adonis they talked about turned to look at them and smile. Eddie, himself felt like he just died and went to heaven. Buck was fine, alright.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Tyrone S. "Rone" Woods, Jack Silva, Glen "Bub" Doherty are members of US Navy SEAL from the movie 13 Hours: The Secret Soldiers of Benghazi and Steve "Smooth Dog" McGarrett is a character from the series Hawai Five-O if anyone wondering


	4. A Night With Buck

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> They spent the night together, but that should be it, right?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This story does not comply with 9-1-1's actual storyline and both characters might be a little bit out of character. I am a sucker for badass Navy Seal Buck. It's another smutty chapter, I hope it's at least decent.
> 
> English is not my native language and I don't have someone to beta-ed this so I am sorry if there were grammatical errors here and there. I hope you enjoy the story :)

Eddie felt the mattress shifted before he heard whimpers on his back. He wanted to sleep, so bad, but felt the blanket was being pulled for him and he was awake. It was four in the morning, and he found Buck turning and tossing on his bed. His body was covered in sweat, and his eyes were shut. His breathing was rapid, and he kept clenching on the sheet underneath him.

Buck was sleeping on his bed, and he was having a nightmare. “Buck,” Eddie called, unsure whether he should touch the other man or not but was still trapped on the dreamland. “Buck… It’s just a dream. Hey, wake up, Buck. Open your eyes,” He coaxed softly as he turned his body to face Buck only to feel a delightful ache on his behind.

Buck seemed to hear his voice and his eyes were open, wide in fear. “Hey, you’re okay… It’s just a nightmare,” Eddie said as he tried to gain Buck’s attention and the blonde man turned his head to face him.

“You are okay, you’re in my house, remember?” Eddie asked softly and Buck nodded, his pupils were still dilated as he tried to regain his breaths.

“I-I’m sorry,” Buck whispered hoarsely and Eddie quickly shook his head.

“Hey, no. None of that, Buck,” He said as he held one of Buck’s hand. “It’s just a nightmare. It happens.” He reassured the other man as he stroked Buck’s shaking hand softly.

“You want something? Water?” Eddie asked when he saw Buck started to calm down.

“I-I should probably go,” Buck answered as he tried to get up but Eddie stopped him.

“No, stay,” he said as he held unto Buck’s wrist. It was probably not the best move to do to someone who just experienced a nightmare but Eddie did not want Buck to leave. “I’m not going to let you leave this house in this situation, and besides, you’re warm.” He coaxed softly with only a dash of playfulness and Buck looked uncertain. “Please?” He pleaded and Buck relented.

“I still don’t think this is a good idea, Eddie,” Buck said as he leaned back to the bed and Eddie scooted closer to him.

“Agree to disagree,” Eddie mumbled as he softly rubbed Buck’s naked chest to lull him back to sleep.

***

_Buck was all sorts of amazing. He greeted everyone happily as he joined them on the booth, offering his hand to Bobby, Chimney, and Hen and the trio was instantly in love with him. He settled beside Eddie after giving him a side hug and he was instantly bombarded by questions by everyone beside Maddie and Eddie. He happily answered each one of them._

_“See, Chimney? I told you he was cool,” Eddie commented after Chimney guffawed at one of his jokes._

_“You talk about me?” Buck asked playfully at him, making Eddie blushed in return._

_“Well, Chimney here is trying to make a good first impression at his girlfriend’s brother so he was a bit worried about meeting you,” Eddie said, trying to push Buck’s attention at Chimney and the taller blonde smiled._

_“No need to worry, Chimney. Maddie is a good judge of character. I have no doubt she’ll date a decent man,” Buck said kindly, making Chimney beamed in return._

_Buck helped Maddie to bring another round of drinks for them before settling back beside Eddie. Buck handed Eddie a shot of tequila before handing Bobby another bottle of mineral water. Eddie realized, Buck was holding a bottle of mineral water too._

_“You don’t drink?” Eddie asked after he devoured his tequila shot._

_“I don’t drink,” Buck answered with a smile before he was pulled into another conversation by Bobby. Eddie watched how Buck seemed to instantly click with Bobby. They talked about everything, at one time, Eddie even saw them exchanging numbers. Eddie was glad Buck liked his friends._

_Eddie started to loosen up a bit after his third drink. He was still sober, but he could feel his body became warmer. He took off his flannel shirt, revealing a tight black shirt underneath and started to tap his feet to follow the beat of the music._

_Maddie and Hen pulled him to the dance floor and Eddie could feel his inner Latino started to kick in. He started to move his body a bit, listening to the music, in rhythm with the two ladies in front of him. After Chimney had joined them on the dance floor and took Maddie’s hand, he focused his attention on Hen. Hen was always a delightful dance partner and Eddie was having a great time._

_The song changed and the beat became faster. Eddie started to sway his body left and right when he felt a hand sneaked into his hips and a sturdy body pressed to his back. Hen smirked at him and left him with a wink as he felt the hand guided him to continue his previous move._

_“You look so irresistible right now,” were whispered into his ear and quickly realized it was Buck behind him._

_Eddie chuckled as they continued to dance to the song, Buck was firmly pressed to his back and he could feel Buck’s breath on his nape. “Buck, I can feel them looking at us already,” Eddie whispered, dreading to catch the gaze of one of his teammates. The dance floor was slightly crowded, but they were both a tall and big man, it would be easy to spot them._

_“Screw them,” Buck retorted as he playfully bit at Eddie’s shoulder. “I can’t think of anything else after seeing you yesterday.” He admitted. Buck was sober, he consumed no alcohol that night but he spoke so bluntly and confidently. How could Eddie say no to that?_

_Eddie whined before he turned his body and pulled Buck down for a kiss. Buck was only 2 inches taller than him but Eddie really enjoyed the fact that Buck had to lean down to catch his lips. It was hot, really hot. He could feel the stares of his coworkers, but he could not care less._

_“You’re unbelievable,” Eddie mumbled in their kiss and he heard Buck chuckled. He did not want to open his eyes, he just wanted to savor the moment. Being so close with Buck was really intoxicating._

_“And you’re distracting,” Buck whispered. “I was having a really nice conversation with your Fire Captain, but you had to dance like that. You’re all kind of distracting,” Buck said before he was pulled into another kiss._

_Eddie did not know how long they were dancing together, but after a while, Buck pulled him back to the booth, took Eddie’s flannel shirt, and excused themselves from the rest of the group. “We’re going to head back first. I’ll see you again, soon,” he said before dragging Eddie out of the bar and back to his car._

_Eddie could not think straight, but he was quick to point Buck the direction of his house. They did not talk, but Buck would pull him in a kiss at every red light and Eddie felt like floating. Eddie’s car was still left in the station and Eddie told Buck to park his car on the driveway. They hastily exited the car and Buck started to attack his neck while Eddie tried to open the door. Eddie did not care if one of his neighbors saw them, he was being devoured by a hunk of a man, Eddie should be proud._

_When the door opened, Buck pushed Eddie inside and quickly closed the door behind him. Eddie leaned closer for another kiss and he could feel Buck’s hands on his hips as he bit on Buck’s bottom lip. He grinned when Buck hissed and he compensated the bigger man by sinfully sucking on his bottom lip. He took a step back without breaking their kiss and started to guide Buck to the direction of his bedroom. He fell to the bed with Buck on top of him when after his legs hit the side of the bed._

_Buck stood up and started to unbutton his shirt as Eddie wrestled to take off his own shirt. They threw their shirts to the floor before Buck crawled back on top of Eddie. This Buck was so different from the younger Buck. Older Buck still had the same divine muscles as younger Buck but his body was now covered by tattoos and scars._

_Buck seemed to notice Eddie’s eyes on his body and he chuckled uncomfortably. “Yeah, not as good as before,” Buck commented and Eddie quickly refuted him._

_“You’re hotter,” Eddie whispered to his lips as he pulled him down._

_It did not take them a long time until they were both naked on the bed. “Condom and lube?” Buck asked after he left a rather big mark on Eddie’s neck._

_“Nightstand,” Eddie answered breathlessly._

_Buck moved away to reach the nightstand and opened its drawer and Eddie’s eyes widen as he heard Buck chuckled. Oh, shit…_

_“Looks like someone’s been busy,” Buck commented as he took a dildo out of the drawer._

_“Shut up!” Eddie exclaimed in embarrassment making Buck chuckled in return. Buck put the dildo back before returning to the bed with a condom and lube in hand._

_“Give me,” Eddie said as he grabbed the condom from Buck and tore the package. He pushed Buck until he was sprawled on the mattress and Eddie kneeled beside him. Buck might laugh at his dildo’s discovery but Eddie would show him who was boss._

_He placed the condom in his mouth before leaning down and set the condom on the tip of Buck’s penis. He sinfully used his lips to push the condom over the head of Buck’s cock, making Buck groaned before him. He rolled the condom slowly all the way down the shaft, using his lips and the front of his teeth to guide the way. He could feel Buck’s grip on his fingers when he started to run his lips up and down the shaft to squeeze the air out the condom._

_“Fuck, Eddie,” Buck groaned in agony, trying to keep himself from climaxing and Eddie grinned victoriously at him. “You’re killing me,” Buck said breathlessly, making Eddie laughed in return._

_Buck rolled their body until Eddie was pinned underneath him. He spread Eddie’s legs and settled between them as he grabbed the lube and started coating his fingers. He experimentally pushed a finger inside making Eddie moaned underneath him._

_“You’re still as tight as I remember,” Buck whispered as he leaned down for a kiss to help Eddie relax. “How could you still be this tight?” He whispered._

_“Never been with any other man,” He whispered and groaned when Buck added another finger. Buck looked surprised at his confession._

_“Really?” He asked as he nipped at Eddie’s neck and Eddie answered with a whine._

_Buck added another finger but Eddie was impatient and he wanted more. “Fuck me, Buck.” He pleaded, and Buck did not need another pleading as he positioned himself between Eddie’s legs and started to thrust his cock._

_“B-BUCK!” Eddie moaned when he felt Buck’s shaft penetrated his hole. Buck was so big and he felt like he was being torn into pieces. Buck, on the other hand, bit his own lip hard, trying to fight the urge not to thrust his cock right away. He slowly pushed his cock in, giving Eddie plenty of time to adjust himself._

_Eddie was panting hard underneath Buck and Eddie was lost in Buck’s blue eyes. He moved his hips slowly, giving Buck’s silent permission to move and Buck started moving to his rhythm. Eddie could not describe the pleasure he felt throughout his body._

_Buck took one of his legs and put it on his shoulder before he thrust inside Eddie hard. His thrust with rigor and Eddie cried out when he felt Buck hit his prostate dead on. “Buck, please…” He whined as Buck continued to thrust at the same exact place._

_Eddie was close and he unconsciously reached for his own cock but Buck stopped him. He felt like crying but he moaned instead when Buck held his shaft and started jerking him off. It did not take long until Eddie came with a loud cry. Buck followed right after when he felt Eddie’s hole tightened around his cock._

_“Jesus…” Eddie panted as he Buck fell on top of him, the other man laughed breathlessly._

_Buck slowly pulled his cock out and tied the used condom before throwing it to the trashcan before he joined Eddie on the bed while Eddie reached out for his tissue box and started cleaning the mess on his stomach._

_“I’m pretty sure my phone is blowing up with texts from Hen and Chimney,” Eddie commented as he pulled the blanket to cover their naked bodies, Buck only chuckled from his side. It did not take a long time for them to close their eyes and went to the dreamland._

***

Eddie woke up to the sound of someone showering in his bedroom. He looked to his right and saw the spot beside him was empty. Eddie stretched his body as he got up from the bed, swearing a little when he felt a tingle of pain on his back. He went to take a clean boxer from his closet and slowly put it on as he made his way to the bathroom.

The door was not locked and he could see Buck showering through the fog on the shower door. “Good morning,” he greeted when Buck turned the water off and stepped out from the shower.

“Morning,” Buck answered and Eddie frowned at Buck’s troubled look.

“You’re okay?” Eddie asked.

”I am,” Buck answered as he started to dry himself off and put on his underwear and jeans. “It’s just the nightmares…” He admitted and Eddie nodded understandingly.

“Did it happen often?” He asked.

“Used to,” Buck answered. “Only happens once or twice lately.”

“I’m glad,” Eddie said with a smile. “Buck, you can always come to me if you need help, okay?” Eddie said and Buck smiled at him.

“You’re too nice to be a one-night-stand, you know.” Buck teased as he pinched Eddie’s nose, making the other man snorted.

“I’m being serious, Buck,” Eddie said.

“I understand you, loud and clear, Eddie.” Buck conceded. Eddie was going to lean closer to the bigger man when he heard the front door of his house was being opened.

“EDDIE! WHOSE CAR IS IT ON THE DRIVEWAY? AND WHY THE DOOR IS NOT LOCKED?!” Eddie froze when he heard his Abuela’s voice.

“Shit, Buck, hide!” Eddie whispered in panic, and Buck only looked at him in disbelief.

“Where Eds? She saw my car. I can’t exactly leave.” Buck answered in a whisper, making Eddie sighed in return.

“Wait here,” Eddie said as he left the bathroom to put on a clean short and t-shirt before opening the door of his bedroom.

“Daddy!” Chris beamed when Eddie appeared from behind the door and Eddie nervously greeted the two Diazes in front of him.

“Hello, big boy,” Eddie greeted as he pulled Chris for a hug.

“Eddie, whose car is that?” Abuela asked before he greeted her, making Eddie gulped.

“I might have a friend over,” He admitted, making Abuela’s eyes widened in return.

“Daddy had sleepover last night?” Chris asked instead and Eddie laughed nervously in return.

“Y-yes, Chris.”

“Well then, should I make breakfast for everyone including this friend of yours, Eddie?” Abuela asked, and Eddie thanked her with a kiss on her cheek.

“Who is it, daddy? Is it uncle Chim?” Chris asked excitedly and it dawned Eddie that Chris’s idol, Buck, was hiding in his bathroom.

“Uh, wait here, okay, baby? I’ll get them,” Eddie said before he rushed back to his room and found Buck was already fully clothed, sitting on his

bed.

“Uh, so…. I might have told my Abuela to make breakfast for you too?” He admitted nervously and Buck chuckled at him.

“I thought you were going to kick me out, man,” Buck said. “Are you sure it’s okay? I don’t want to impose.”

“Please, join us for breakfast,” Eddie said hopefully and the other nodded to him. “And by the way, my son is outside and he kind of has a boy crush at you.”

“What? How come?” Buck asked in amusement. For someone who was bombarded by tons of weird shits at the same time, Buck was surprisingly calm, and Eddie was so thankful at him for that.

“He asked a lot about my deployment, and I may have told him about you once or twice.” He admitted as he looked away, trying to hide his blush, and Buck chuckled at him.

“I love kids,” Buck answered making Eddie smiled in gratitude. Eddie led Buck out from his room and he could see Abuela’s eyes widen at the sight of Buck.

Buck stood nervously by the door as Eddie approached Chris to get his attention. “Chris, I want you to meet my friend, Buck,” Eddie said and Chris’s eyes widened in an instant as he clumsily turned to face Buck.

Buck smiled as he waved at Chris but surprisingly Chris hid behind Eddie. “Chris, hey, I thought you want to meet Buck?” Eddie coaxed the seven years old but Chris only mumbled something incoherently as he hid his face on Eddie’s hips.

Eddie felt bad when he saw a hint of sadness in Buck’s face. “Eddie, I-I think I should go…” Buck said understandingly, not wanting to make Chris uncomfortable and Eddie did not know what to do.

“Buck, no…”

“Daddy, is it really Buck?” Chris asked in whispers as he peeked at the tall blonde in front of them.

“Yes, baby. It’s Buck, from the story.” Eddie answered as he picked Chris up and carried him to approach Buck.

“Hello, Buck. Meet Christopher,” Eddie coaxed the shy boy to face the blonde man and Buck smiled at them.

“Hello, Chris. Your dad told me a lot about you,” Buck said kindly. “I’m so happy to finally meet you,” he added and like magic, Chris quickly turned his head to face Buck and smiled shyly at him.

“Y-you do?” Chris asked shyly.

“Yes, of course. I always down to meet a cool kid,” Buck joked and Chris beamed at him.

“Daddy told me stories about you,” Chris admitted and Buck grinned at him.

“Oh yeah, you want to tell me all about them?” Buck asked and Chris nodded eagerly. Eddie put Chris down and nudged him to the living room. Chris on the other hand, reached out for Buck, making all of the adults in the room smile in amusement.

“Is it okay?” Buck asked Eddie for permission and Eddie nodded understandingly at him. Buck quickly swooped Chris up and brought him to the couch in the living room, making the boy laughed in excitement.

Eddie exited the living room to join his Abuela in the kitchen. He silently braced himself to be interrogated by his Abuela, but she only eyed him silently.

“I thought I was going to pick Chris up during lunch,” He said as he went to the coffee pot.

“We tried to call you several times last night, apparently you were preoccupied,” his Abuela said and Eddie sighed.

“I’m sorry, Abuela,” Eddie apologized but he chuckled when he saw a glint of playfulness on Abuela’s face.

“Relax, Eddie. You’re a grown man. I understand you completely. And to be honest, for a gringo you have a good taste.”

“Abuela, it’s not nice to use that word,” Eddie complained making his Abuela laughed.

“He looks like a fine gentleman,” Abuela commented.

“Yeah, he is.”

“Is this going to be a serious relationship, Eddie? It’s not like you to let someone meet Christopher right away.” She commented.

“Francamente, Abuela, no sé,” ( _frankly, Abuela, I don’t know_ ) Eddie answered with a sigh.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> YEAY! BUCK FINALLY MEETS CHRISTOPHER!  
> It's kinda crappy, I'll try to come up with something good of the next chapters


	5. Limbo

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Everything was going well until he saw something he's not supposed to see

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This story does not comply with 9-1-1's actual storyline and both characters might be a little bit out of character. I am a sucker for badass Navy Seal Buck. There are mentions of homophobia in this one, I just wanna say it's not cool. Love is universal bro!
> 
> English is not my native language and I don't have someone to beta-ed this so I am sorry if there were grammatical errors here and there. I hope you enjoy the story :)

Buck became a constant in their life and Eddie was perplexed. Buck was amazing with Chris. He treated him like any other kids, not a child with disabilities and he showed no sign of pity when he looked at his little boy, not like everyone else. He played with Chris and listened to Chris’s endless chatters patiently. He was so engaging and by the time Buck excused himself to go home, Chris already announced him as his best friend and made Buck promised to visit again. Buck eagerly promised Chris with a pinky promise as their binding seal.

His first day back in the station after the weekend off, Hen and Chimney bombarded him with tons of questions about Buck, much to Eddie’s annoyance. _‘So you guys a thing or what?’, ‘Eddie, did you get laid that night?’, ‘Eddie, I didn’t know you like men’,_ and honestly Eddie was as confused as them.

Eddie grew up knowing that homosexuality was a sin. His parents were devoted Catholic and their church was strongly against homosexuality. Eddie was not the most religious person, but it stuck in his mind and he was confused. He was never interested in men, never, and he always thought that he was straight. He was not homophobic, not at all, he loved Hen, Karen, even Michael, Athena’s ex-husband like a family but he knew it was not a possibility for him. Now, he did not know anymore.

Eddie did not know what possessed him when he first had sex with Buck, he honestly thought it was because of the adrenaline controlling his body and the fact that he never had sex, not even masturbate, during his time in deployment. It was supposed to be a one-time thing but Eddie was stuck. He could not take his mind off his time with Buck. Not even after he went back to Texas.

His relationship with Shannon was unsalvageable, but none of it was caused by Buck or the obscurity of his sexual orientation. They just did not work. Shannon was his high school sweetheart and they got married at such a young age. They were reckless and the fact that Shannon left out of the sudden to take care of her mother was the last blow for Eddie.

For years, it was only Chris and him but one time, it dawned on him how much Chris missed his mother so Eddie packed his bag and brought Chris to California. He would do anything for Christopher, anything. Shannon hated him for refusing to follow her to California, so he tried to make the big gesture. After months of finally settling in California, he reached out to his estranged wife only to learn that Shannon’s mother, the reason that Shannon left him and Chris, already passed away two years ago.

He was furious, he wanted to ask why Shannon still refuses to go back to Texas but he sucked it up and smile when he saw how happy Christopher was. Eddie tried so hard to fix their broken family, he spent all of his free time for Chris and Shannon, gave them all of him but it was not enough. Shannon told him that he was not enough so Eddie stopped trying.

When Shannon asked for a divorce, Eddie agreed with one unnegotiable term which was he had full custody of Christopher, and Shannon as the descendant of pure evil that she was, refused to agree to said term and dragged his ass to the court. It was tiring, time-consuming, but Eddie was relentless. He would fight tooth and nails to stay with his son, even if it means he had to fight Shannon.

With all of his time spent between work, Christopher, and his divorce, Eddie had no time for himself. He never dated, and he never looked for a new potential partner but he was not complaining at all. And then, Buck showed up, bringing back the memories he buried long ago with him and made Eddie questioned himself once more. Eddie was lost and Buck was not helping.

After Buck’s second appearance at the VA support group and his mild joke of how he could not stand sleeping on his sister’s air mattress, Eddie helped him to look for an apartment. It did not take them a long time until Buck decided on renting a spacious two stories apartment in Glendale. Buck told him that the apartment was close to everyone and Eddie chose not to comment when he noted that it was only 15 minutes car ride away from his house.

Buck fucked him on his new mattress when Eddie helped him decorates his new apartment but they did not talk about it. Buck came to his house once a week and spent his time after VA support group session with Eddie and Chris and they still did not talk about it. Buck became a mandatory guest in his night out with his friends, and still they remained silent. From what Eddie knew, they were friends who occasionally fuck and he did not know whether he wanted more or not. Eddie was lost, he did not know whether he should ask Buck to address their relationship or not.

To be honest, Eddie was dreading for it. He was not ready to address his own sexual orientation but at the same time, Eddie could feel he was slowly getting attached to the blonde man. The fact that Buck was not complaining about it only made him more confused. He accepted every invitation from Eddie, he indulged Chris with stories and endless attention and he became the sturdy rock Eddie held unto when he was adrift. He was even present to console Eddie after a particularly ugly fight with Shannon. Eddie almost lost his composure when one day, Buck approached him with a copy of his apartment keys.

Hen warned him to treat his relationship with Buck lightly and reminded him that he was technically still a married man. However, nothing was easy when Shannon was involved. During her last visit, Christopher happily told her about Buck, and Eddie knew she meant trouble when she started asking questions. He finally exploded when Shannon brought up the fact that Eddie was unfit to parent Christopher because she did not want his son to be raised by a homosexual parent. Hurtful words, curses were thrown and Eddie left his attorney’s office fuming.

Eddie thought of calling Hen who had experiences in a custody battle with Dennis’s birth mother but he stopped when he realized he unconsciously drove his car to Buck’s apartment. He pocketed his phone and wallet and parked his truck beside Buck’s jeep and went to his apartment. He knocked twice but when he heard no response from behind the door, he decided to use his key to enter Buck’s apartment and was only met with silence.

His eyes widened when he found Buck unconscious on the floor of his balcony where Buck made a small gym for himself. He ran to the bigger man and quickly called 9-1-1 as he tried to bring Buck to consciousness. He failed.

He called Chimney, asking him to inform Maddie that he found Buck unconscious before tailing Buck’s ambulance to a nearby hospital. He was restless, he did not know what happened but he knew he did not like this. It was a while until he felt someone touched his shoulder and found Maddie sitting beside him.

It felt like hours when the doctor told them that they could see Buck in his room. Pulmonary embolism, the doctor informed and he suddenly felt like being stabbed by a rusty knife. The grin Buck threw at them when they entered his room did not help at all.

“Jesus, Buck. You should have told us,” Maddie said as she tried to stop her tears and Buck’s grin disappeared.

“There’s nothing to tell, Maddie. It’s just a hiccup,” He said coldly and Eddie wanted to punch him.

“You could have died, Buck,” Eddie commented but Buck stopped him.

“Stop, I don’t want to hear a thing,” he said and Eddie was dumbfounded. He did not want to stay in this room any longer. Eddie excused himself from the room, telling Maddie that he was going to Buck’s apartment to pick up spare clothes for the blonde man and Maddie nodded before she thanked him.

Eddie’s mind was clouded, he did not know where to focus. He should be taking care of Christopher, working to resolve his divorce but right now Eddie only wanted to go back to Buck’s hospital room and made sure that Buck was okay. It was wrong, so wrong, he thought.

He stepped into Buck’s apartment and went to the second floor to Buck’s closet. He took an empty gym bag and some clothes for Buck to change at the hospital. He stepped into the bathroom to collected Buck’s toothbrush and shaving kit but stopped when he saw Buck’s bathroom cabinet.

Along with his shampoo and soap, there were bottles of medicine inside the cabinet. There was blood-thinning medications, pain killers, chest pain medications, and worst of all, he found bottles of Eszopiclone, a very strong and illegal if not prescribed, medication for insomnia. ‘Oh, God, what's gone into him?’ he thought as he stared at the bottles in front of him and suddenly he was not okay. Buck was not okay, Buck knew he was not okay but he kept it to himself, and Buck almost died that day because of that. His body started to shake and his legs lost its strength. He fell to the cold bathroom floor, and he took out his phone, dialing Hen’s number hastily.

“Hen, help…” he whispered when Hen picked up and suddenly he cried. He was overwhelmed, he did not know what to do. Hen asked him where he was and after thirty minutes, he saw Bobby and Hen stepped into Buck’s apartment. He bawled like a child.

“Help… help…” He pleaded when he felt Bobby settled on the floor beside him. “I don’t know what to do…” He whispered, crying in Bobby’s and Hen’s arms.

Bobby and Hen carried him to Buck’s bed, and it took him an hour to calm himself down. He could see the concern look from his teammates but they waited for him patiently. “I’m lost…” Eddie whispered in despair.

“Eddie, what happened?” Bobby asked cautiously.

“I found Buck unconscious on the balcony this morning,” Eddie answered. “Right there,” He said as he pointed at Buck’s balcony slashed gym. “He was just lying there, there was blood on his mouth and I was so scared,” he said, his voice trembled again.

“Turns out he has a pulmonary embolisms. He fucking knows he has PE! He fucking has blood-thinning pills inside his cabinet but he never said a word,” He continued. “He did not want to talk about it, and I hate it!” He yelled in frustration.

“I hate myself! He’s fucking nobody! He’s not my family! He’s nobody to me, but I feel so helpless, so scared for him! I hate it! I even forget about Shannon, my divorce, God, even Chris when I saw him on the ground. I hate it. I don’t want this…” He admitted as he sobbed again. “I feel like I’m failing Chris. I should have made Chris my priorities, but look at me… crying for a man who I barely know in a month.”

“Hey, Eddie… None of that,” Bobby said, trying to get his attention. “You’re not failing Christopher, never. Not a chance, that boy loves you so much and you’re not failing him at all.” He continued.

“It still feels like I am failing him, Bobby. I don’t know what I was thinking. I don’t know what happened to me.” He whispered desperately.

“Eddie, you’re going through stuff and it’s a lot. It’s understandable. It’s obvious you shared a strong bond with Buck, and we all can see it from the first time we met you guys and you’re still processing everything.” Hen explained softly. “There’s a lot on your plate, and you’re overwhelmed. You’re still the same Eddie, you’re still the same man and you’re not failing anyone. You just need time.”

“You’re going to be okay, kid,” Bobby assured him as he patted his shoulder. “Just know, whatever it is that you do, whatever revelation you had later, you’re still our Eddie and we’ll support you all the time,” He continued and Eddie nodded at him.

***

He went back to the hospital and found Buck sleeping on his hospital bed. An anonymous number, he assumed Maddie texted him that she already left the hospital because Buck asked to be alone so Eddie decided to just dropped the bag of clothes and go home.

“Eddie?” He heard Buck tiredly called for him when he was going to leave the room. He stopped.

“Hey, Buck. I just dropped your clothes before going home.” He said, and he could see Buck frowned at him.

“What’s wrong? You don’t look fine.” Buck said, noticing his puffy eyes and Eddie shook his head reassuringly.

“No, nothing. I’m okay.”

“Eddie, come here,” Buck said and Eddie felt his body moved on his own. He sat on the chair beside Buck’s bed, and he felt Buck reached out for his hand.

“What’s wrong?” Buck asked one more time, it was softer than before.

“You’re what’s wrong, moron,” Eddie answered hopelessly. “You passed out, almost died, and I did not know you were sick. I fucking found your pills, and I don’t know what’s wrong with you. We’re supposed to be friends, I thought you’re my friend, but I realized I know nothing about you. I fucking told you to come to me if you need anything.”

“Eds, Eddie. Calm down,” Buck said as he gripped Eddie’s hand hard. “I’m sorry, that was all me. It was my fault, okay?”

“No, you don’t get it, Buck.” He said. “I knew you for a month, only a month, but I shared so much with you. You met my friends, my family, you met even Chris… I dragged you into my life, and I know you did not ask for this, I know I did it on my own accord but I felt like I shared more to you than anyone else. And I know nothing about you. I did not know what was wrong with you and suddenly you just passed out and I did not know what would happen if I didn’t come to your apartment this morning. It’s fucking scaring me, Buck.” He admitted, close to crying, and he could see the sadness on Buck’s face.

“Please don’t say that,” Buck said. “I didn’t mean to cause you any pain.” He continued. “I know I told you nothing. I know I hide a lot of things, but you know me better than anyone else, Eddie. Fuck, you do. You have to believe me.”

“It’s hard, Buck.” Eddie sighed as he tried to pull his hands away but Buck refused to let go.

“I am a messed-up man, Eddie. And I’m scared if you see me, the real me, you’ll run away. I don’t want that. I’m not scared to be alone, but I don’t want you to leave. You gave me so much. You were so giving, so kind and I can’t afford you leaving… I had no direction, but you showed me. You guided me in the support group. You helped me settle here, you gave me friends and even Christopher. You gave me so much, Eddie. And I don’t want you to leave and left me with nothing.” Buck admitted and Eddie was stunned. He was speechless.

“Buck…”

“I promise, I’ll do better. I’ll answer your questions. I’ll do it. Whatever you want, I’ll follow.” Buck promised and Eddie saw hope in his eyes, it was scary. “Just, don’t leave. I need you.” Buck pleaded, and something inside him snapped.

“Okay, okay…” Eddie whispered as he reached for Buck and he smiled when Buck pulled him to the bed with him. “I’ll be here,” he whispered as he hid his face on the crook of Buck’s neck.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> It's rather angsty. I wanna feel hurt so I write myself an angsty chapter. Sorry.


	6. Epiphany

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> They were okay however the doubt remains

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This story does not comply with 9-1-1's actual storyline and both characters might be a little bit out of character. I am a sucker for badass Navy Seal Buck. 
> 
> English is not my native language and I don't have someone to beta-ed this so I am sorry if there were grammatical errors here and there. I hope you enjoy the story :) don't forget to leave a comment so I can hear your feedback!!

The divorce was finalized two weeks after Buck was discharged from the hospital. Eddie was sitting beside his attorney and Shannon was sitting in front of him, face stoic but Eddie could see that she was sad. Eddie was too. They might be going through a rough patch, and they were hurting each other but Shannon was the mother of his son. She was once his wife and Eddie loved her for that.

They were civil as they signed their finalized divorce paper and Eddie could not help himself but pulled Shannon into a hug when they were parting. “I’m sorry…” Eddie mumbled into their hug and he could feel Shannon tighten her grip on his back. Eddie knew he contributed as much as Shannon in the falling of their relationship and he was sorry that. Shannon smiled as she too apologized to Eddie and for the first time since they decided to get a divorce, they smiled at each other.

Eddie thought he would feel relieved after the divorce was finalized but he felt nothing. He felt numb. He did not feel like the weight on his back was being lifted. He heard about people partying to celebrate their divorce but Eddie did not feel an ounce of happiness in his bones. He just felt tired and sad. So Eddie went home with a divorce paper in hand and a new status under his name. A widower, he was officially a wifeless man with a seven-year-old son.

Eddie parked his car in front of his yard as he saw Buck’s car on his driveway. He exited his car, leaving the divorce paper behind and opened the front door of his house, only to find the door was unlocked. No one greeted him, but he could hear the TV was on and he could hear Chris’s happy chatters from his bedroom. There was a bag of takeouts on his dining table, and he could see a box of biscuits and two bottles of juice boxes on his coffee table.

Eddie silently walked to Chris’s bedroom and smiled as he rested his posture on the frame of Chris’s door. Buck was sitting cross-legged on Chris’s carpeted floor; his posture was rigid and his face was stern and in front of him Chris was talking animatedly while drawing a picture. “Bucky, don’t move!” Chris whined when Buck moved a little and the blonde man chuckled at him.

Buck was speechless when Chris first showed him his drawing of SuperBuck. Eddie caught him taking a picture of it and Eddie was beaming. Chris told him that Eddie was not good at describing Buck and claimed that his drawing of SuperBuck was not accurate enough, so he had to redo his drawings. Buck, being Buck, of course, complied with each one of Chris’s whims no matter what. Even when his legs were hurting from sitting in cross-legged for so long.

“Chris, why don’t you just take a picture and draw from there? Eddie said as his greetings, gathering the attention of both boys.

“DADDY!” Chris beamed and Buck smiled at him.

“Hey, Eds,” Buck said as Eddie joined him in the room and settled beside Buck.

“Daddy! Buck has to stay still or else I can’t draw him,” Chris childishly tried to push Eddie away from Buck making both adults laughed.

“Oops,” Eddie said teasingly, making Chris pouted in return.“ You can continue your drawing, but I happen to see my living room is full of trash, did I not remind you to always clean up after snack time?” Eddie asked, and Chris mumbled something in return.

“I’ll do it,” Buck said as he tried to stand up but Eddie stopped him.

“Chris,” he called and Chris finally conceded. Eddie handed him his crutches and the boy left the room to pick up his trash. Buck sighed as he stretched his legs on the floor after Chris left.

“Are you okay?” Eddie asked as he unconsciously reached for Buck’s thigh and massaged it a little.

“It’s fine, just a little numb,” Buck lied and Eddie chuckled at his stubbornness.

“You have to learn to say no to him, Buck,” Eddie commented as he felt Buck’s muscles relaxing under his hand.

“Eddie, he just wants to draw, I’m enabling his creative side,” Buck retorted and Eddie earnestly laughed at him.

“You have only yourself to blame when you get cramps later,” He commented. “At least sit on the table or something.”

“Aye aye, sir,” Buck said. “Hey, how is it? You’re okay?” Buck asked, his voice deeper with concern and he could feel Buck’s concerned gaze on him. He knew Eddie was finalizing his divorce today so he canceled his lunch date with Maddie to keep an eye of Chris while Eddie was away.

“Surprisingly civil,” Eddie answered with a sigh. “I don’t know, I just feel nothing but it’s done.”

“At least you have one less problem to deal with,” Buck said reassuringly and Chris finally joined them back in the room. Eddie nodded as he basked on the attention Buck gave him before the blonde man turned to his son again.

Eddie negotiated for Buck to sit on Chris’s desk and Chris could draw on his bed before he left them to reheat their take-outs. He took one last glance at Chris who eagerly went back to his drawing and Buck who put his stern posture back. It brought joy in his heart to see them so happy in their little world. He finally felt like the weight on his back was being lifted.

***

Buck stayed true to his words, and Eddie was so happy when Buck told him that he was ready to open up to Eddie. Special Reconnaissance mission went wrong, and three of Buck’s team were dead while Buck, with four others, sustained severe injuries. It was just another mission, and there should not be any crossfire but their informant was compromised and they were not aware that they were walking into a trap.

Buck did not tell him much. Eddie knew he only told Eddie the littlest details of his stories but Eddie did not push him, though. He reached out when Buck’s breathing started to quicken and his eyes became vacant again. “You’re okay,” he whispered and Buck forced himself to take a deep breath.

Buck had a lacerated kidney after he was shot on his abdomen but his surgery was a success and he had both kidneys working perfectly right now. There were rods on his right leg after his fibula was broken, he was lucky to keep his leg at all. Buck told Eddie that he was lucky, so lucky and it ate him alive because the rest was not as lucky as him.

Buck went straight to Coronado, the Naval Special Warfare Center 4 hours away from Los Angeles, after he was back in the mainland. He trained, diligently and then he threw up blood one time during dinner. Turns out he suffered Pulmonary Embolism due to blood clots in his lungs and his leg because he pushed himself too hard during training. He was placed on anticoagulants and declared unfit for duty, so he went back to visit Maddie and there was when he met Eddie.

Buck was suffering and Eddie wanted to help, badly. Buck showed him his schedules and Eddie felt like crying already. Doctor visit, physiotherapy, individual therapy, VA support group, and Buck had been doing it all by himself. He did not tell Maddie, he said he did not want to burden her, and he was left alone to battle it all. Eddie had family and he was still struggling, he was deep in street fighting and almost killed a man, for God’s sake, but Buck was alone. He had no one to turn to, no one to hold on to.

And yet, he was still a steady rock for Eddie. Eddie did not ask Buck where he went to when Buck visited for dinner. He did not want to pry, and he believed him when Buck said that he was visiting friends or went sightseeing. He did not know that Buck just got back from a mentally draining therapy or excruciating physiotherapy sessions and went straight to his house with takeouts in his hand. How foolish at him not to notice Buck’s tired eyes or his awkward posture. Eddie was so foolish.

Buck still dared to say: “Don’t blame yourself. I decided to keep this for myself. It’s all on me,” when he caught Eddie’s troubled look. Eddie shook his head vigorously.

“No, I should have noticed. I should have asked. I should have helped you, but I didn’t,” Eddie said dejectedly and Buck pulled him into a hug.

“You’re helping me,” Buck said firmly. “Right now, you are helping me and it feels so good.” He assured him and Eddie mentally screamed at himself. He should be the one who consoles Buck, not the other way around.

Eddie started to accompany Buck on his physiotherapy session and he felt like screaming. Buck was working his best and Eddie could see the agony and weariness on his face. Eddie watched him with a bottle of mineral water and a dry towel in both of his hands. Watching Buck struggled was a torture he could not describe but he needed to be there for Buck. It was worth it. It was so worth it when he saw Buck smiled as he limped to approach him.

Eddie also helped him to get rid of his illegal sleeping pills. Buck told him he had trouble sleeping sometimes, and the pills helped him to rest. He knew it was dangerous but small dose sleeping pills did not work for him so he sought to consume higher dose medicine. Turned out, the answer to their problem was Christopher.

On Saturday, Buck came over as usual and Eddie noticed the dark circles on his eyes. Buck told him he only slept for two hours that night and the lower dose pills Eddie gave him did not help. Eddie made sure that there was no Eszopiclone left in Buck’s apartment and he could see Buck was experiencing withdrawal. “You can rest here,” Eddie said but of course Buck would not have any rest when Christopher was present.

Buck indulged Christopher for hours. They played all day, they even went to the park, and Christopher was ecstatic. He particularly loved it when Buck shared a scoop of ice cream with him even after Eddie specifically told them no. The little devil was exploiting Buck, and Buck was too smitten to care. It was a dangerous combination.

Eddie told him to spend the night at his house to help him if he still had trouble sleeping and Buck reluctantly agreed after Eddie harshly shoved one of his oversized shirts and shorts to the taller man. That night, Buck slept without even taking any pills. Christopher drained all of his energy, and Buck was sleeping like a baby. That night, Eddie started to rally his troops.

He started introducing Buck to his coworkers’ kids. Eddie introduced Buck to Bobby’s stepchildren, May and Harry, and Hen’s son, Denny. Buck was not kidding when he said he loved kids and the kids were instantly in love with their Uncle Buck. He could not help the smile on his face when he invited Buck to 118 picnic days and Buck ended up carrying Denny and Chris on his arms and Harry safely swinging on his back while May laughing so hard in front of him and tried to take their pictures. His heart was so full.

His coworkers were delighted that Eddie was happy. Eddie did not tell them all of it but he told them that he was helping Buck to get better and they nodded in understanding. Chimney, unconsciously asked him about the nature of their relationship, and Eddie sighed as he told him that he did not know either. Yeah, they failed to talk about that bit but it was okay, his top priority was Buck’s wellbeing.

He started to read a lot before sleeping. He googled about sexual orientations and he informed himself by reading through credible articles he found. He even opened a Bible to read the scriptures as a whole, not only a snippet of sentences that are being referenced by the articles he read. He still did not found his clarity. He was still confused and scared.

Hen told him that it was okay. She had a lifetime of discovering herself and Eddie would need a lot of time too, remembering that he spent thirty years of life stuck to strict doctrines and less than ideal experiences. Eddie could count the number of people he was involved with him with only one hand, of course, he was inexperienced.

On month two, Chris exclaimed that he wanted a tree house out of the blue. Eddie firmly told him no and the kid dared to cry at him. Chris was not spoiled, not at all, but when he truly wanted something, he would latch on it until he got it. Chris was sobbing and of course, Buck decided to make his appearance at that time with a bucket of KFC in hand. “Bucky…” Chris wailed as he ran clumsily to the other man and Buck quickly scooped him into his arms.

“Hey, little man, what’s wrong?” Buck asked, eyeing the glare Eddie threw at him. _Don’t you dare to take his side_ , Eddie said with his eyes and Buck sighed as he approached the dining table and placed the food on it.

“Daddy won’t let me have a tree house,” Chris said between his sobs, and Eddie could see understanding on Buck’s face.

“Well, buddy. You know a tree house could be dangerous, right?” Buck said understandingly and Chris nodded slowly. “Maybe, your daddy just did not want you to get hurt. That was why he didn’t want you to have one.”

“But, James had one and it was so fun…” Chris mumbled and Eddie sighed. Chris went to his first sleepover at James’s house the weekend before and he was so ecstatic when he told Eddie stories about James’s tree house. He should have not let Chris go to the stupid sleepover.

Buck smiled as he rubbed Chris’s back and his son was reduced to hiccups. Eddie sighed as he reached over to wipe the tears and snot on Chris’s face and raised his eyebrows when he saw Buck reached out to the magazine and pen Eddie on the table after doing crosswords earlier that morning. He expertly used one hand to open the magazine and skimmed to the pages, stopping when he found a page that was mostly words. He started to doodle.

“What if we compromise and make something like this?” He asked as he showed Chris his doodles. He drew a tree house, more like an elevated cabin in Eddie’s opinion. The tree house in Buck’s drawing had pillars underneath it to maintain the framework and instead of a frail ladder, it has actual stair that could be used to reach the tree house.

Chris eyed the drawing closely before he silently glanced at Eddie, eyes gleaming full of hopes. Eddie knew he just lost another battle right there. “Lower,” he said firmly, and Chris whined when Buck raised the line of the ground, lowering the height of the tree house on his drawing but Buck assured him that it was still the same tree house.

Eddie examined the picture again and did a quick cost-benefit analysis of conceding to Chris’s request, and the little smirk on Buck’s face already told him that Buck knew Eddie would not going to say no. “This tree house could only be used during weekend,” Eddie said to the other two.

“Yes, daddy,” Chris said obediently.

“If you want to use it, you have to tell adults first,” He added and Chris nodded once more.

“You’re responsible to keep it clean,” He added and was met by another ‘yes’ from Chris.

“I’m not going to build the tree house,” He finally said and Chris finally pouted again before he turned his attention to Buck.

“Can you help me build the tree house, Bucky?” Chris asked hopefully and the blonde man instantly nodded his head and gave a kiss on Chris’s temple.

“Of course, buddy,” he said with a grin on his face making Chris beamed in return.

“Okay, my Buck will help me build it,” Chris said victoriously at Eddie. _My Buck_ … Eddie shivered.

“Okay then, you can have your tree house,” Eddie conceded and the little boy jumped out from Buck’s hand and clumsily attacked him with hugs and kisses. After he was satisfied, Chris went to the living room saying that he wanted to call his Bisabuela and told her that Buck was going to build him a tree house.

“Buck…” Eddie sighed, trying to get the other man’s attention but instead he was pulled into a deep hug.

“I’m sorry, I’m sorry…” Buck mumbled into his shoulder. “I did not mean to step on your toes. I did not mean to impose. I’m sorry…” He continued and Eddie patted Buck’s back understandingly.

“I told you, you have to say no once or twice,” Eddie said.

“I know, it’s just that he looks so sad.” Buck whined and Eddie chuckled in return. “I remember how happy I was when my father build me a tree house. I want him to have that too…” Buck reasoned.

“I understand, and thank you for helping him to compromise,” Eddie noted. “I was so scared because I know he could not have a tree house like his other friends. I know he wants it, I understand and it breaks my heart because there are just things that he could not do.” He explained, recalling his son’s disability.

“No, I don’t believe that,” Buck said firmly. “Christopher is a great kid and maybe he’s different than anyone else but there is nothing he could not do. I’m going to make sure of that,” He said firmly and the determination on Buck’s face made Eddie weak on his knees. “He just had to work a little harder than anyone else, but I know there is nothing he could not do once he put his mind and heart on it.” And Eddie believed him.

***

On Saturday, Buck came to his house early morning and stole Eddie’s truck and Christopher to go to a hardware store. Eddie was still deep in his sleep but he heard Buck when he told him that they were only going for a couple of hours. When Eddie woke up, Buck and Chris were back with lumber and plywood, two cans of paint, a bunch of tools, and a box of donuts and a cup of hot coffee for Eddie.

Buck softly told Christopher to wait with Eddie for a bit, telling him that the first part of the construction was rather dangerous and he did not want Chris to get hurt. Chris sadly nodded at him before Buck went to the backyard to start his work, Chris following him like a baby duckling, only stopping and watched him from the porch. Buck started to examine the trees on Eddie’s backyard before he settled on one he thought was the sturdiest.

He started cutting down the branches that would interfere with the construction and pushed the pile aside. By lunchtime, the tree was finished, and the pile of branches was already refined with sandpaper. Eddie reheated the leftover from the night before and the three of them had their lunch on the porch, Chris diligently asked Buck about what he did to the tree and the blonde man patiently explained all of it to Chris.

After they were done with lunch, Buck told Chris that he had a special project for Chris, the little boy, was ecstatic. Buck showed Chris the way to make railings from the tree branches he gathered before and cunningly told Eddie to keep an eye of Chris. Eddie ended up spending his weekend making fences with Christopher while Buck started the construction of Chris’s tree house. By the time they called it a day, Buck had managed to finish the pillars, the stair, and the framework of Chris’s tree house. They ordered a box of pizza and ate it on top of the framework. Eddie offered Buck to spend the night at his house since he would continue building the tree house the next day.

On Sunday, Abuela came over to cook them breakfast but he was stunned to see Buck already continued with the construction by the time he woke up. He worked fast and efficiently and by the time Abuela finished making her tamales, Eddie could see the shape of the tree house. The tree house was small, but it looked sturdy and safe, Eddie was satisfied.

After breakfast, Buck went back to finish the tree house and Chris was squealing when his tree house was done in an impressive four hours. Buck told them they still had to put railings that Eddie and Chris made the day before around the stairs and the edge of the framework, he also had to refine the roof, but Chris could start painting the tree house. Eddie offered to help but Christopher said he got it and Eddie smirked as he went back to the house. He settled on making Chris and Buck fresh lemon.

He could see them from the window, at some time during construction; Buck took off his shirt and continued to work with only his jeans on. He was finished refining the roof and Eddie could see him checking every inch of the tree house to make sure that it was safe while at the same time keeping eye on Christopher who was painting the stairs of his tree house.

After he was sure, Buck joined Chris to paint the wood and he could hear laughter shared between the two of them. Chris playfully smeared Buck’s arm with yellow paint and instead of scolding Chris, he saw Buck poked Chris’s hand with paint. And then, a realization hit him hard on the face.

He could feel himself shaking as he reached for his phone and dialed Hen’s number, it did not take long for Hen to pick up.

“Eddie…”

“Hen, I think I’m bisexual,” Eddie said, cutting Hen’s words as he tried to ease his heartbeat.

“Okay, are you sure?” Hen asked softly.

“Y-yeah… I’m sure.” He answered. “And I think I want to kiss the hell out of Buck right now.”


	7. Lull before The Storm

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> They talk, they kiss, it was good

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This story does not comply with 9-1-1's actual storyline and the characters might be a little bit OOC. I am a sucker for badass Navy Seal Buck. 
> 
> Sorry I wasn't able to update regularly like the past chapters, I'll try to get back to my regular update next time :)
> 
> English is not my native language and I don't have someone to beta-ed this so I am sorry if there were grammatical errors here and there. I hope you enjoy the story :) don't forget to leave a comment so I can hear your feedback!!

“Are you sure you’re really bisexual and it’s just not because of Buck?” Hen asked and Eddie stopped for a moment.

“Yeah, I’m sure. I think being around Buck makes me realize that I am interested in another man,” Eddie said. “But… It’s a lot, Hen. He’s everywhere…”

“Is it a bad thing?”

“No, fuck no! He made Chris so happy,” Eddie sighed as he turned his attention from the window and combed his hair roughly. “He’s fucking building a treehouse for my son.”

“Yeah, I see it,” Hen agreed and Eddie could imagine her smiling. “But, I could feel you’re still thinking about something.” She stated and Eddie nodded dumbly before realizing that Hen could not see her and answered her with a small yes.

“I’m scared. I don’t know whether this is really an attraction, or just because of Chris…” Eddie admitted and finally, the Pandora box was opened. “He was so good with Chris, Hen. He babied him, he took care of him, he made him a treehouse, Hen.”

“Eddie, you told me about the treehouse already.” Hen chuckled.

“No, you don’t understand how big it is, Hen. He built Chris a treehouse. He said he wants Chris to be happy just like he was back when his father built him one.” Eddie explained. “I went to him when I want to talk about Chris. He helped Chris with homework. I even put him in Chris’s pickup list at school. I’m scared… What if I’m feeling this way only because I miss having a partner to take care of Chris, Hen? If that what it was, I… I must be the cruelest person in this world.”

“Eddie, don’t think like that.” Hen assured him. “Take a breath, let’s think for a moment.” She coaxed and Eddie followed her instruction.

“It feels like I’m using him, Hen. He’s the kindest, sweetest person I know, and he went all out to help me with Chris. It feels like I’m using him…”

“Eddie, stop. You see how happy he is when he’s with Chris. He genuinely loves your son,” Hen stated. “And he’s a grown man, Eddie. If he does not want to take care of a seven-year-old, he would have told you so or worse run away from you. He didn’t, did he?”

“No… He’s not…”

“Let’s just once see him as Buck, Eddie. Forget about Chris for a moment.” Hen said. “When you two are alone, what do you feel?”

“Happy? Nervous, I guess.” Eddie said. “He’s really fun to hang out with.”

“When he left, you miss him?” She asked again.

“Of course, I do. He’s my friend.”

“We’re friends too, Eddie. Do you miss me like you miss him?”

“No…” He answered apologetically.

“Do you want to kiss me, or Chimney, or Bobby?” Hen asked.

“Hen, gross! No!” He cringed and stopped.

“But Buck is your friend and you still want to kiss him?” Hen asked again and Eddie understood. Buck was not just a friend for him. Buck was more. He wanted Buck to be more.

“Yeah… I want to kiss Buck… so bad.” Eddie admitted in a whisper as if he was just admitting to the worst sin on earth.

“Then, tell him Eddie. Tell him what you feel.” Hen urged him and Eddie was once again filled with doubts.

“Why would I want to tell Buck that I want to kiss him?” Eddie asked in disbelief.

“Because he wants to kiss you too.” Eddie was frozen. It was not Hen. The answer did not come from his phone, and the voice was way deeper than Hen’s voice. Eddie turned his body in dread and saw Buck, the object of his conversation, standing by the door to his porch.

“B-buck! Shit! No, ignore that.” Eddie said frantically. He was going to reassure Buck that he was not serious or he heard wrong. He could not read the expression on Buck’s face, and he was scared. But Buck pinned him to the wall, took his phone from him and rudely ended Eddie’s call.

“You don’t get to tell me that, Eddie,” Buck said. “Not after what you said.” He added and suddenly Eddie was being pulled into a kiss.

Buck’s kiss was hot. It was not sexy, it was hot, Eddie felt like his body was burning. Buck’s kiss was rough and demanding. He nipped at Eddie’s bottom lip, and when Eddie gasped, he invaded Eddie’s mouth with his tongue and swirled their tongues together. Eddie could not stop the moan that escaped his mouth.

“Buck…” he whispered as he broke their kiss, gasping for air and he could feel Buck’s lips still brushing with his own. He was weak on his knees, and he could do nothing but holding on to the taller man. Buck said nothing as he caught Eddie’s lips for another kiss and another. Buck was shirtless, body smeared with paints and sweats but Eddie did not care.

“Chris’s outside,” Buck whispered in between their kisses, and Eddie was instantly out of his trance. “He wants something to drink, and he’s still outside.” He continued, as he sneaked a glance at the window but still refused to move away.

“I made lemon juice,” Eddie answered, trying to catch his breath. “Go, bring it to him.” He said but Buck groaned.

“Come with me,” He said as he pulled Eddie by his wrist while he used his other hand to take the fresh lemon juice. They exited the house and joined Chris in the backyard. Buck handed Chris the glass before he settled on the ground and pulled Eddie close beside him. Eddie was confused and he tried to move away a little but Buck stopped him.

“After this, we’ll talk,” Buck whispered. “Don’t you dare to move away and change your mind,” He threatened, making Eddie smiled in return. To be honest, Eddie really liked this authoritative and possessive side of Buck.

***

Talk turned into a long make-out session and Eddie was not complaining. Buck helped him taking out the trash while Eddie tucked Chris into bed before he joined them in Chris’s bedroom. Buck sat on the floor and watched Chris slowly closed his eyes while Eddie read him a bedtime story. The moment they closed the door to Chris’s bedroom, Eddie felt Buck’s lips on his own.

“Bedroom,” Eddie whispered as he broke their kiss and pulled Buck to his bedroom.

“I thought we were going to talk?” Buck asked with a small smirk on his face, making Eddie snorted at him.

“We’re going to talk, after you shower,” He demanded, making Buck chuckled on return. Eddie was not amused, he was serious. He went to the laundry room and took Buck’s clean shirt and short from the pile of clean clothes he washed earlier, handing it to the blonde man when he came back to his room. “You’re still covered with paint and sweat. You stink. Shower, and then we talk.” Buck complied.

Buck stepped out from the bathroom wearing nothing but his shorts as he tried to dry his wet hair. Eddie could not help but watch Buck’s moves and the blonde man noticed. He threw the wet towel into the hamper before joined Eddie on the bed. They were supposed to talk but Eddie just wanted to trace his fingers on Buck’s skin. Eddie knew he was stalling, but he was not ready. His mind played thousands of scenarios of how he would mess everything up and Buck ended up leaving. He was not ready for that.

Buck seemed to see his hesitancy so he took Eddie’s hand and pulled him until they were sitting facing each other. “I heard you. I didn’t mean to eavesdrop but I heard you.” Buck said. “And I need you to understand that I want to be here.”

“Buck-”

“I want to be here, with you and Christopher and I feel like I’m imposing.” He admitted.

“You are never that, Buck. Christopher loves to have you here.” Eddie said, trying to reassure the blonde man.

“Only Chris?” He asked and Eddie snorted in return. “What about you?”

“What do you think?” Eddie asked back.

“I think we both want the same thing,” Buck said as he darted his eyes down to Eddie’s lips. “I know what I want. I want you. I want us.” He continued bluntly and Eddie was left agape. He was not expecting Buck to be so blunt but the message was clear and it was impossible for him to misinterpret his words.

“I want you too,” Eddie admitted and he was pulled into another kiss.

“Are you sure?” Buck asked after Buck broke their kiss.

“I-I think we could be something great,” Eddie said.

“Yeah, me too,” Buck replied, his smile blinding and Eddie felt his lips curved into a big smile too.

***

Dating Buck was somehow anticlimactic. He was happy with Buck, but he realized that Buck was already bounded into their days, nothing changed after they made their relationship official. Eddie sometimes still thought that he was dreaming when he opened his eyes and found Buck sleeping next to him or when Buck stole a kiss when Chris was not watching, but other than that nothing changed.

The only thing that Eddie hated from dating Buck was the constant teasing he got. Everyone was happy and supportive when he told him that he and Buck started seeing each other however after the congratulations, came the teasing. The first-ever teasing was from Hen. Hen gave him a knowing smirk and Eddie blushed as he thanked her for giving him the push he needed. The wise lady told him he owed her one night of babysitting her son. Eddie honestly would not mind.

The teasing was excruciating. Eddie was not the most expressive guy and his team never had any embarrassing story about him so when they learned that Eddie was seeing Buck, it was a goldmine for the 118. Not that dating Buck was an embarrassment, his incapability of maintaining his emotions around the blonde man was. One time, Eddie unconsciously smiled when he read a text from Buck, and Chimney decided to recite Pablo Neruda’s famous sonnet to the whole team to tease him. It was fascinating, to be honest, he did not know Chimney has the capability of reciting a poem. Hen and the other guys in his team were borderline lazy, they just called him lover boy or made kissing sound when he caught Eddie smiled or something. Eddie was bemused when Bobby joined the teasing. Buck called him to check on him one time and after Eddie hang up, Bobby played Stevie Wonder’s ‘I Just Called to Say I Love You’ on his phone and everyone started to sing along.

Buck did not help either. Once a week, Buck would drive Eddie to the station and everyone would insist for him to join them for breakfast. Buck knew very well that everyone was ganging up on Eddie and being the model boyfriend he was, he joined the bandwagon. He would blatantly steal a kiss from Eddie in front of everyone making Eddie blushed and the team would have a field day. One time, he even sent Eddie a bouquet of flower and small brown teddy bear, complete with corny messages on the card, and he heard Chimney exclaimed that it was the best day of his life after he managed to capture Eddie's red face with his phone. Eddie wanted to be angry, but he honestly could not do it. The flower stayed in their kitchen for a couple of weeks before it withered while the teddy bear safely stored in his locker. Eddie might or might not take it out and cuddle with it when he had enough time to rest in the bunk room.

A month into their relationship, they decided to tell Christopher and the boy was ecstatic. They were expecting some kind of resistant from the seven-year-old but there was nothing but cheers came from his son, Eddie felt the invisible burden on his back was being lifted. Buck smiled when Chris jumped into his arms for a hug and Eddie could see the relief on his face. He knew Buck was anxious too because Christopher was it for them. Christopher was Eddie’s priority and if the boy decided he did not want Buck dating his father, Buck would not think twice to end their relationship. Eddie should be offended by how easy Buck could end their relationship but instead, his admiration for the taller man only heighten. It took a great man to put others before themselves and Buck was one hell of a great guy. He was the greatest.

Buck was technically unemployed. He was no longer serving the Navy and still undergoing treatments to heal his injuries and it was working so well for Eddie. Buck offered to help take care of Chris while Eddie was at work and even when Abuela complained that Buck was taking her time with Chris, he could see she was happy for them. It was hard to date as a single father with a son, even harder when said son had CP and Eddie knew he snatched the one in a million kind of man because not only that he adored Chris, Buck wanted to be involved in Chris’s life. He was lucky indeed.

***

It was supposed to be a typical Saturday where he spent his day with Buck and Chris but Buck did not show up in the morning and Eddie was disappointed. Buck had a routine checkup the day before and he told Eddie that the result was not as good as he wanted some times alone. Eddie understood, Buck was devastated but he was concerned. He did not like to leave Buck alone, but Buck assured him that Eddie could check on him anytime he wanted to ease his worry. He could see Chris sulking on the living room and his frown turned deeper when Eddie learned that one of the team members was having emergencies and Eddie had to cover his shift. _Just great_ , he thought.

“I’m sorry, buddy. But Uncle Tom’s wife had a baby today and I’m the only one available to cover his shift,” Eddie explained when Chris frowned at him.

“Stupid work,” Chris mumbled and Eddie smiled at him in understanding.

“You know what, I promise when Uncle Tom’s back, I’ll make him cover one of my shift and we can spend it together.” He said, and he saw a small smile on Chris’s face.

“With my Buck too?” He asked and the butterflies in Eddie’s stomach reappeared.

“Yes, with Buck too.”

“Can I still play with Buck today?” Chris asked hopefully and Eddie honestly did not have the heart to refuse him.

“Buck is a little sad, Buddy. You remember when you had a checkup, and the result was not so good and you became sad?” He asked and Chris nodded in return. “Well Buck did not have a good checkup result yesterday, and he’s sad. Maybe he’s not in a good mood to play.”

“But, I can cheer him up, daddy.” Chris reasoned. “Like you did when I was sad. We play and I became less sad. I can help Buck too,” he said with determination, and Eddie was amused.”

“You know what? Sure, pack your bag, and I’ll drive you to Buck’s apartment so you can help to cheer him up, okay?” Eddie conceded, and Chris dashed to his room to pack.

Due to the heavy traffic, it took them half an hour to reach Buck’s apartment and Eddie decided to use the keys to open the door. There were unwashed dishes on the sink and as he settled Chris on Buck’s sofa, he saw a big lump on Buck’s bed. “Wait here for a moment okay, mijo?” Eddie said to Chris as he made his way upstairs to approach Buck.

He pulled the cover, and he heard Buck groaned in return. “Get up,” he said with a smile on his face but Buck only pulled the cover back to cover his big body. _Big baby,_ Eddie thought.

“Come on, Eddie. Why?” He said tiredly from under the cover so Eddie pulled the cover one more time.

“Because it’s morning and you had things to do,” He reasoned.

“No I really don’t,” Buck said and Eddie stopped him from disappearing under the cover again.

“You’re going to get out of this house, and take a walk around the block and get some fresh air,” he said and Buck finally got up from his bed with a frown on his face. Buck was going downstairs to avoid a conversation with him but Eddie decided to stop him, remembering Chris is waiting on the sofa and he did not want him to see them argue or some sort.

“Hey, papi. Come on, it’s just a hiccup on the checkup, you’re still getting better,” Eddie said understandingly as he pulled Buck into a hug and the taller man immediately latched onto him. He called Buck many things, but Buck liked it the best when he called him papi. Eddie decided it would not harm anyone to indulge Buck once in a while.

“They add two more months, Eds. It’s tiring,” Buck admitted as he buried his face on Eddie’s shoulder and Eddie sighed.

“I know, Buck. I know how hard it’s been for you, but it’s okay.” Eddie reassured. “I’m just glad you’re okay. The blood clot almost killed you, but it didn’t, we can take it as a win, yes?” He added and Buck sighed and pulled away from the hug.

Eddie was going to talk some sense to the younger man but he knew Buck did not want to hear any of them so he let Buck go downstairs to do whatever he wanted to do. Buck was miserable, and Eddie did not want to make him even sadder so he just followed him silently.

They did not talk as Buck made his way to the kitchen to look for something to drink or eat and he could see Buck yielded and tried to make his way back upstairs only to freeze when he saw Chris on the sofa.

“Hey, Buck,” Chris called, and he could see Buck was taken aback. His expression was unreadable but in a second, a smile appeared on his face.

“Hey, buddy,” Buck greeted, still confused but tried to look as cheerful as he could for Chris. “What are you doing here?” He asked.

“He’s hanging out with his Buck today,” Eddie answered as he pulled Chris for a hug before he settled back on the couch. “Because I had to get to work today,” he added with a smile on his face as he straightened his shirt while approaching Buck. “So, take him out, have some fun, maybe you’ll learn something?” He said. “No matter how bad things were, he never felt sorry for himself,” he whispered to Buck and planted a kiss on his cheek.

“Fine,” Buck mumbled with a sigh, and Eddie took it as a win. He used his finger to turn Buck’s attention to him and offered him the warmest smile he could muster.

“You’re alright, Buckley. You’ll be fine,” He whispered as he pecked Buck’s lips before turning his attention back to Chris.

“Love you, buddy,” He said to Chris before he made his way out of the apartment and he could hear a Buck asked Chris what he wanted to do for fun, Eddie took it as another win.

It took him ten minutes ride to reach the station and he dashed to change his uniform. The rest of the team was lounging in the kitchen, drinking coffee while munching some brownies when he joined them on the second floor. “Glad you can make it, Eddie,” Bobby said gratefully.

“Yeah, five minutes late but it’s okay I guess.” He answered.

“What happened?” Chimney asked, handing Eddie a cup of coffee. Eddie sighed as he added two spoonfuls of sugar on his coffee.

“Buck’s not feeling so great, so I had to shove Christopher to his arms so he could get out of the goddamn bed,” Eddie said and instantly regretting how insensitive he sounded.

“Using the big gun,” Hen commented. “Is it that rough?”

“The clot was not getting better so he had to do another two months of therapy. It’s eating him alive,” Eddie said dejectedly his team nodded in understanding.

“I don’t know the kid very well, but from what I see and heard, he’s a hell of a fighter,” Bobby said in assuring manner, and Eddie smiled at him.

“He is, but even the greatest fighter lost once in a while,” Eddie commented and the alarm blared. They quickly rushed to the fire engine and Eddie was grateful that he finally had something to distract him from Buck.

There was a pileup on the highway caused by a drunk driver and Eddie felt like strangling the man. He hated irresponsible people, but he had to stay professional and tended everyone who needed his help. The drunk driver was in critical condition, and they quickly send him to a nearby hospital while they checked on the rest of the victims. After everyone received proper emergency care, Eddie helped his team to clean the road from the debris of the collision and after an hour, the road was ready to be used again.

When they arrived at the station, Eddie mechanically started to clean the trucks where he saw Hen and Chimney started to restock the ambulance while Bobby moved upstairs to started lunch for them. In thirty minutes everyone was back in the kitchen for a meal. He always enjoyed their station’s mealtime. They kept their conversation light as they fill their stomach with Bobby’s delicious pasta. The captain could become a chef if he wanted.

Eddie felt his phone vibrated and he smiled when he saw his notification. Buck sent him a picture of him and Chris posing inside a photo box, it was adorable. “Hen, looks like the big gun works,” he commented as he handed his phone to Hen and she too smiled at the picture. Hen handed his phone to Chimney and before he knew, everyone in the team saw the picture Buck sent him. “You have a beautiful family, Eddie,” Sal, another member of his team commented and Eddie smiled in return.

“I do,” he answered.

They stayed at the dining table and then suddenly the alarm blared again.

“Three-alarm?” Hen asked as they started to put their gear back. “Where’s the first two?” The three-alarm indicated the seriousness of the fire that they were going to face. The first alarm was only meant for the initial dispatch team and if the second alarm was heard it meant that the initial team required assistance and so on. If the second alarm was on, they would usually be notified in case their assistance was required for the third-alarm. It was uncommon to hear the three-alarm without notification beforehand.

“Where’s the fire?” Chimney asked.

“Worse,” Bobby said and Eddie felt his phone vibrated. There was a tsunami alert on his phone and judging by the look from his team, Eddie knew they were all on the same page.

“Okay team, pack everything we have. It’s going to be a long night,” Bobby ordered and they all started to load the truck with more items. Medicines, first aid kit, breathing tank, ropes, inflatable rescue boats, they put everything they had. They knew they were not going to come back to the station anytime soon so they have to make sure they have everything. It was going to be a long night, Eddie was sure, but at least he knew Chris was safe with Buck.


	8. Tsunami

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Eddie knew it was going to be a bad day, he did not know it was going to be the worst day of his life

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This story does not comply with 9-1-1's actual storyline and both characters might be a little bit out of character. I am a sucker for badass Navy Seal Buck. 
> 
> English is not my native language and I don't have someone to beta-ed this so I am sorry if there were grammatical errors here and there. I hope you enjoy the story :) Don't forget to leave a comment! :D

Fifteen minutes after they left the station, the truck stopped in West Los Angeles Highway. Eddie braced himself as he stepped out the truck and he could see police cars and ambulances parked around them. He saw Hen and Chimney climbed the ladder truck to see the damage in front of them but Eddie did not need to see to know how bad it is. They were 6 miles from the coast but Eddie could hear water around him. Eddie knew how bad a tsunami could be, but he did not know it could be this bad.

“One wave did all of this?” He heard Hen exclaimed in disbelief from the top of the truck and Eddie started to examine his surroundings.

There was nothing but water in front of them, the busy street was gone so does the road ahead of them. Pieces of woods, cars, even boats were floating in front of them, and judging by the height of the buildings around them, the water was around five feet high. This spot was going to be the emergency staging area for the rescue team. Emergency tents were set in by the end of the dry land just ten feet from the water and he could see the search and rescue team started to inflate the rescue boats. There were going to be so many casualties today, he could tell.

“We already had two so far,” one member of the search and rescue team informed them. “Expect another four or five before it starts to recede.” He added. _Jesus_ , Eddie screamed inside his mind but he chose to say nothing as he grabbed his bag and joined Bobby to the tent. The sun was high and it pierced his eyes but he could feel no wind on his skin.

“I heard there were four firehouses in the path of this thing,” Bobby said to the other man.

“Yeah, they've all checked in, except for the 136. They were responding to a call at the pier when the surge hit, so if you see any blue out there-,”

“We’ll holler,” Bobby said without any hesitation.

Back in the truck, Bobby informed that the Santa Monica Pier was pinned as their number one priority since their station is one of the closest stations that was not affected by the tsunami. It was Saturday, there was no doubt the Pier must be bustling with people. They estimated at least two thousand people were at the Pier when the first wave hit and now they need help. _Either help or body bag_ , he thought grimly but he quickly pushed the thoughts away as he helped preparing their gears.

“You’re okay, Eddie?” Bobby asked as he put on a life jacket.

“I tried to reach Buck, but it went straight to voicemail,” He said as he took another life jacket and put it on himself. Eddie must be failing to maintain his emotion because he could feel Bobby’s hand on his shoulder for support.

“They are going to be okay. Whatever happens, Buck is more than capable to keep Chris safe,” Bobby assured him and Eddie nodded.

He took a deep breath to regain his composure. For now, he had jobs to do and people to safe. He could not afford to be distracted by Christopher and Buck. They were okay, Eddie knew Buck would do anything to keep Christopher safe and besides, they were nowhere near this nightmare. They probably just played Legos or video games in Buck’s apartment.

The team was separated into four boats. Eddie, Bobby, Chimney, and Hen would ride in two boats and they headed straight to Santa Monica Pier while the other two boats would navigate through other boulevards before they rendezvous at the pier. They believe it would be the most effective way to rescue as many people as possible. Before they headed to the water, Bobby once again reminded them to look out for their teammates because they could not afford any of them getting hurt and to brace themselves for the horror they were about to see. And so, they went to the water.

The boat ride was quiet. Eddie could hear nothing but the sound of their motorboats and the waves. He could see goods were floating around them, carts, benches, road signs, and cars were floating but there was no sign of life. They found people but so far no one survived, it was gut-wrenching. Every time they found a body, Eddie would reach for their wrist to check any sign of a pulse. He found none. His instinct was to pull the body to the boat, so they could bring the bodies back to their family but there were more pressing matters to attend to, saving actual living persons. Even if his mind was screaming for him to do something, the only thing he could do right now was to put LED bracelet on the corpse as a marker to help the removal team finding the corpse later.

“Okay, let’s work fast, people, in between waves,” Bobby shouted in a loud voice. Bobby’s voice pulled Eddie out of his trance, it helped him regain his focus. No matter how many times he saw dead bodies, it never became easier for him. Every death felt like his first. To see so many deaths at the same time, even Eddie was not prepared for that.

“HELP!” They heard a cry from afar and he could feel adrenaline rushed throughout his body. No matter how heartbreaking it felt, Eddie was filled with joy when he heard a cry for help. At the very least, he could reach out to this particular person.

There was a boat in front of them, and he could see a man on top of the deck. The man was bleeding but he was not the one who cried out for help. Chimney rushed to the wounded first but the cry did not stop. It came from the inside of the boat. “My fiancé and my son are inside. Please hurry!” They heard so he stepped inside the boat. He was not prepared to see the sight in front of him.

“Antenna from the radio station pierced the hull,” he said as he saw two bodies stuck on the floor of the boat with a metal lodged on their shoulders. Two men, one around his age while the other was most likely on his fifties. It did not look good, there was too many blood.

The younger man was responsive, but he was in so much pain, he could not say a word. The older man was breathing hard, but he kept begging for them to save the younger. _Nonsense_ , Eddie thought. He would make sure both of them survive. Sure, it was touching for Chuck, the older victim, to sacrifice himself for the younger but not on their watch. Eddie knew he spoke for everyone when he said that he would get both of them out of the boat safe.

And they did. Bobby dived under the boat to help cut the antenna but of course, Lady Luck decided to be a bitch at the moment and another surge of water hit them. They almost lost the man from drowning, he and Hen had to perform CPR to help the man breathe underwater. With seconds to spare, they managed to cut the antenna and pulled the man from the floor, so he could breathe.

“There we go. Welcome back, Chuck.” He said as he felt the man smiled after he managed to take a deep breath. He could feel relief flowing through his veins. “Oh, hell of a save, Hen. Hell of a save.” He said as Hen and Chuck, the victim, laughed.

“I can't believe it worked.” Hen said and he could tell she shared the same feeling with him.

“Bring in that backboard!” He shouted, and they started to move Chuck out of the boat. It took them five minutes to load the four victims they found inside one of the rescue boats and Eddie heard the radio. The radio told them that they needed all available hands at the pier. Bobby told Hen and Chimney, as the main paramedics, to transport the patients back on land before he ordered Eddie to join him to the pier.

It was ugly. Eddie could not see anything but water. Usually, after they passed the buildings, they could see the beautiful coast and the pier. It used to be a happy place but Eddie only saw the ocean. He could see other rescue boats around them also heading to the direction of the pier but to be honest, if it was not from the sign, Eddie could not tell where it was. They passed the tall welcome sign but the water level was so high, if Eddie raised his hand, he could touch the sign. He could see the Ferris wheel from afar, but only half of it was visible above the water. It was worse than all of his imaginations.

They tried to move fast but suddenly everything was shaking. The wave was going back out to sea, heavy and fast, bringing debris with them. It was rough but they managed. They managed to evacuate everyone and as they sailed back to the land, he saw the Ferris wheel collapsed. They shared a ride with a member of the 136 stations, Lena Bosko. Truth to be told, it was not his first time seeing her. He saw her before, a lot, during street fighting. They never talked and Eddie did not know that she was also a firefighter, but he knew she was tough. It did not shock him at all when Bosko refused his assistance. But after Bobby ordered her to stay put, Eddie found that her wrist broke so Bobby told Eddie to bring her to the VA Hospital on Sawtelle where the triage was set before he went back to his team.

As they made their way to the hospital, he took his phone from the bag and started to check for notifications. His phone was not in an airplane mode, but he has not received any news from Buck. It was possible that the line was down so Eddie tried to call Buck again.

“Who you calling?” Bosko asked as she eyed him.

“My son. He’s with my partner, but I can’t reach them at all. I don’t want them to worry,” He said as he once again went straight to voicemail. If they were in better condition, Eddie would blush at his own words. On the rare occasions where he got to call Buck his partner, he always felt tingles on his bones. However, it was true, in every definition; Buck was his partner.

“Hey, Buck, it's me. I just want you to tell Christopher I'll be a little late picking him up, got our hands full here. It's good thing you two are not here. Hope you guys are having fun.” He saved in Buck’s voicemail before putting his phone back inside his bag. He wanted to go home to Chris and Buck. He needed to go home. He needed to hear Chris’s voice and felt Buck’s hands holding him. He needed to push through, finish his day so he could go home to his boys.

The sky was dark when they reached the hospital. He guided Bosko to nearest medical personal but Bosko rushed to take the list from her to check for her missing Captain. Eddie was having a headache, he was supposed to rendezvous with his team but instead, he had his hand full of this frantic firefighter. He understood, really, but she was not helping anyone so Eddie persuaded her to get fixed up first before she looked for her Captain. She agreed.

The hospital was packed so Eddie decided to help out. He helped anyone he could but stopped when he saw Athena, Bobby’s wife approaching the triage covered with blood. She said it was not her blood and Eddie realized she was bringing a firefighter with her. It was Bosko’s Captain. He was okay but he lost one hand. Eddie watched Athena and Bosko entered the hospital before turning his attention somewhere else to look for anyone in need of assistance. He stopped when he spotted familiar blonde hair in front of him.

“Buck?” He could not believe his eyes. Buck was standing in front of him. His clothes were wet, and he could see bruises and wounds around Buck’s body. “Wait, what are you doing here?” He asked. Buck did not look fine, he looked awful and Eddie almost reached out for him when he saw Buck almost lost his balance when he tried to stand. He was limping.

“Are you okay?” He asked and then he saw the glasses. Buck had Christopher’s glasses on his neck, but his son was nowhere visible. “Wait, where’s Christopher?”

“Eddie,” Buck called him and his voice sounded broken. Dread started to overtake his body. He knew that look. He knew that voice. _No, no, no this was not happening to him_. He needed to find Christopher.

“Why do you have his glasses?” He asked, but he did not want to hear the answer. Deep down, he knew. He left Christopher with Buck but now he could not find him anywhere. His baby, his beautiful baby boy was not there with Buck. He was supposed to be safe at the apartment with Buck, away from all of this chaos but Buck was standing in front of him, looking like he just got back from hell, alone.

“We, me and Christopher, we were at the beach,” Buck said, his eyes were red and he was close to crying. They were at the beach, God, they were there. Eddie was there, Eddie saw what happened in the pier, and he saw how bad it became. His baby was there, at the beach and Eddie was nowhere close to him. No, this could not be happening to his Christopher.

“And listen to me, okay? I swear to you, okay, I tried.” Buck pleaded and Eddie felt like screaming. He wanted to shout, he wanted to punch someone, he wanted to become angry. He wanted to yell that Buck was not trying hard enough, he wanted to yell at himself for not being there for Chris. His son, his treasure, his everything was missing. “Eddie, I just don’t know how to say it.” Eddie wanted to scream; _Don’t! Don’t you dare! Please, God, no! Don’t say it!_

He could feel his body started to tremble, his vision was blurry. _Please, God! Not Christopher!_ He begged. Christopher was his everything, _Please, God! Don’t take him away from me!_ He pleaded to everyone who’s listening.

“He just, he just vanished,” Buck said and Eddie felt his heart was breaking into pieces. He could not stay there, he needed to run away. He needed to find his son. Christopher did not vanish. He could find him. He knew he could. He could not look at Buck. He could not look into his eyes and see the sadness on his blue eyes. If he saw it then it all became true, he did not want that. He looked away.

Near a white van, there was a lady holding onto a boy. The boy was around Christopher’s age but they were too similar. Eddie knew that shoes, he knew that pants. He could see the color of the shirt underneath the red jacket. It was his baby.

“Christopher?” He called as he walked away from Buck. He needed to make sure. It must be Christopher, _Please, let it be Christopher! I’m begging you!_ He pleaded as he approached the lady. “Christopher?” He called again. He could hear the desperation in his voice, but he did not care. He needed his son. And then he heard it.

“Dad!” He knew that voice. It was weak but he knew it. It was his baby. _Yes, yes, it was Christopher_.

“Oh, God.” He breathed as he took Christopher from the lady. Christopher was here, he was alive and breathing. He was safe. His Christopher was safe. “Thank you, thank you…” He said to everyone who listened. The lady, Gods, everyone who brought his baby back to his arms, he owed them his life.

“You’re Buck?” The lady asked and Eddie tried to calm his heart as he kissed Christopher’s head and inhaled his scent. His son was warm, breathing, safe in his hand.

“No, I’m his father, Eddie,” he answered as he felt Chris’s hands on his neck.

“He was looking for Buck,” the lady said and Eddie was perplexed.

“Make a hole! Buck! What happened to you?” He heard Chimney shouted, and he quickly turned his attention to Buck. Bobby, Chimney, and Hen were standing around Buck, but he said nothing.

Buck was looking at them, his eyes never left Chris but Eddie felt like he could not move from his spot. Buck’s breathing was ragged and Eddie saw the moment he lost his stance and fell. _Go to him! Eddie, for the love of God, move! Go to him!_ He heard his mind screaming but he could not control his muscles. He watched his team lead Buck to one of the gurneys and Buck was clinging to Hen’s arms as he kept looking at Chris. Eddie felt like crying when he saw Buck smiled.

“BUCK!” He finally called when he saw Buck’s eyes rolled back and he lost his consciousness.


	9. Separation

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Eddie learned what happened to Buck and Chris during the tsunami. He knew now and he wanted to help, but Buck wanted something different.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This story does not comply with 9-1-1's actual storyline and both characters might be a little bit out of character. I am a sucker for badass Navy Seal Buck.
> 
> English is not my native language and I don't have someone to beta-ed this so I am sorry if there were grammatical errors here and there. I hope you enjoy the story :) Don't forget to leave a comment! :D

They brought Buck for further examination and Eddie wanted to be there for him but Bobby stopped him. Bobby reminded him that Christopher needed to get himself checked too and Eddie wanted to scream at himself for forgetting about Chris for a moment. He nodded as he carried Chris inside the hospital and sat on one of the empty gurneys. There were other people around him. The room was full of patients, but who sustained minor injuries. Patients with more severe injuries were admitted to other rooms or went straight to operating room, Eddie did not know where they took Buck.

“I’m glad you’re okay, buddy.” Eddie whispered as he felt Chris shifted on his lap.

One of the medical personnel approached them to check on Chris but Chris clung to him and refused to be put on the bed. The adults understood. Chris just experienced a major trauma that could scar his mind for years, they understood how shaken the boy was. The medical personnel adjusted herself and started examining Chris from Eddie’s lap. When she was done, she praised Chris for being so brave and told Eddie that someone would come to give Chris new sets of clean clothes. Eddie thanked her before turned his attention back to Chris.

“Daddy…” Chris whispered and Eddie hummed in return.

“What is it, buddy?” He asked as he kissed Chris’s temple. He could not contain himself. He was so grateful to have his boy in his arm, he could not let him go.

“Is Bucky hurt?” Chris asked, and he could see fears in Chris’s eyes.

“He’s being examined, buddy,” Eddie answered because he honestly did not know what happen. He wanted to go to Buck, but Chris needed him. “After we finish, we’ll try to see him, okay? But I can’t promise you anything because Buck needs to rest a lot.” He added softly and Chris nodded.

“Yeah, Buck needs a lot of rest.” Chris accepted. “He was so tired earlier.” He continued.

Eddie wanted to ask him what happened before but he shut his mouth when he saw a man waving his hand weakly at Chris. The man had minor injuries on his head and there was a younger lady beside him, her hand was wrapped in a bandage. She was holding a bottle of water and when she saw Chris she smiled and waved too. Chris shyly waved back and the couple must take it as a silent invitation because the next thing Eddie knew, they moved to the gurney beside them.

“Hi, kid.” The man said with a sweet voice. He sounded tired, but everyone around him was too. “We’re glad you’re okay.” He added, and Eddie could see that the man meant it.

“Where’s your father, kid?” The lady asked, and Chris rested his head on Eddie’s shoulder.

“This is my daddy,” he answered.

“We meant the other one,” She corrected herself but stop when they saw the sadness in Chris’s eyes. Chris mumbled a weak ‘Bucky’ and buried his face on Eddie’s chest.

“Hi. I’m Mary. This is my husband Frank,” She said to change the subject, introducing herself and her husband to Eddie.

“I’m Eddie, Chris’s father. I’m sorry, I don’t mean to be rude but do I know you?” Eddie asked, and the couple smiled at him.

“No, I believe this is our first meeting. Honestly, this is our first time learning Chris’s name too.” He answered and on better days, Eddie would think that the couple was shady but he pushed the thought down. “We met Chris when the wave hit.” They explained and Eddie felt his body stiffening up. “Your partner saved us, if it wasn’t for him I don’t think we would be alive right now.”

“Buck?” Eddie asked. He wanted to ask so many questions. He was afraid.

“The blonde man with a scar on his eyebrow?” Frank asked. “Is that his name? Buck?” He added and Eddie nodded. _Yeah, that was their Buck._

“He pulled us from the wave. Chris helped too.” The lady said softly and for the first time after the long day, Eddie saw Chris smiled. “Chris gave everyone his drink. Everyone was so grateful.”

“Everyone?” Eddie asked. There was too much information coming at the same time. He needed time to process everything.

“Yeah, there are ten of us,” Frank answered. “Buck saved us all.” He added, and Eddie could see how sincere the man was. “Is he-” He knew what Frank wanted to ask.

“They’re checking on him in another room,” Eddie supplied and they could see Frank and Mary smiled.

“Oh, thank God. We thought…” Mary mumbled as she glanced at Chris. “We thought we would not be able to say thank you.” She finished.

A nurse came to approach them, Chris, Frank, and Mary new set of clothes and clean towels. Chris looked like he was going to succumb to sleep anytime soon so Eddie decided to help him out. “I’m going to help him clean up for a bit,” Eddie said. “I was not there when it happened if you don’t mind, can you tell me what happened?” He asked hesitantly.

“Of course,” Frank said. “We’ll come back here after we change,” he added and Eddie thanked him. It must be hard to tell people what happened when the disaster stroke but Frank and Mary accepted his silly request in a heartbeat. He was grateful. He wanted to know what happened. If he knew, he would know what to do, how could he help Buck and Chris, but seeing his son and his partner, he was sure the two of them would not tell him anything.

***

_It was Saturday so Frank and Mary decided to have lunch at Bubba Gump Shrimp Co. on the Santa Monica Pier. It was not far from their house and with the traffic, it probably would take them half an hour to reach their destination. Just like any other Saturday, the pier would be packed with people but Mary made a reservation beforehand so it should be fine._

_They were going to the parking lot, but the car in front of them stopped without any warning. Fortunately, Frank managed to pump the break so the car stopped before it hit the car in front of them._

_“Can he drive?” Frank complained but Mary quickly stopped him as they saw people starting to run in the opposite direction of the pier. Frank opened the car window only to hear people yelling that tsunami was coming so they quickly ditched their car._

_As they left their car, Frank grabbed Mary by the wrist and they started to run as fast as they can. They felt the strong wind behind them. They also heard the wave crashing behind them. People screamed, they cried, and before they know they were swallowed by the wave._

_Mary was hysterical, and Frank tried his best to hold onto his wife. He tried to swim, but the current was so strong, the best thing he could do was staying afloat on the surface of the water. They were dragged for minutes before Frank saw a street light pose not far from them. He tried again to swim in the direction of the pole and after he managed to reach for the pole, he pulled Mary to him._

_“Hold tight, baby,” He said between ragged breath, and Mary nodded hysterically._

_They heard a lady calling for help. She sounded as desperate as them. Frank could see her; she was holding onto a pipe, and Frank could see that she was slipping. He wanted to help but he could not, he was on the edge too._

_“I’LL HELP! I’M GONNA COME TO YOU! Ok?!” They heard a man yelling at the lady. Frank could not see clearly due to the current hitting his face hard, but he saw a man standing on top of a fire truck. He was far but the man looked tall._

_Frank and Mary held the pole tighter as they saw the tall man pushed the ladder of the fire truck to make a bridge to another car before he buckled himself with fire truck pole. The man threw the hose on the water as he held onto its nozzle spray and he jumped. He freaking jumped to the water and started to swim._

_He was strong, he managed to swim to the other side of the road and tied the end of the hose to a tree. “You can let go!” The man yelled and the lady did. She was dragged by the current and the next thing they knew, the tall man grabbed the lady as she approached the hose and helped her on top of the fire truck._

_“Baby, baby, look over there. We need to do that,” Frank said as she pointed at the makeshift bridge the tall man built before but Mary was hesitant. “He can help us. We need to get on top of that fire truck,” Frank said, and Mary hesitantly nodded her head._

_They let go, Frank kept yelling for help and there were other people floating around him too. They were all asking for help. The man yelled for them to hold onto the hose when they reached it, and he jumped back to the water. One people at a time, he guided them to the top of the fire truck. He started with the ladies first before he finally helped Frank and the other men climbed to the top of the truck._

_After everyone settled on top of the truck, instead of taking a seat, the man dived under the water. They yelled as they thought the man was drowning but he did not. He returned to the surface with a big tool on his hand. They did not know what it was called, but Frank recognized it. It was the tool that firemen used to open car doors that were damaged in a crash and could not be opened. He shouldered the heavy tool before he crossed the ladder to another car._

_Frank realized there was a man stuck inside the car and after he safely climbed on top of the car, the tall guy used the tool to open the car door. He grunted as he tried to open the car door, it must be heavy and the current would only make it worse. It took several tries but the tall guy managed to help yet another person. After making sure that everyone settled on the fire truck, he joined the rest of them and sat beside a boy._

_Frank did not see the boy at first, he was small and he looked like he had disabilities. There was no way the boy was older than eight years old but he saw smiling when the tall man sat beside him. The boy did not cry, he smiled and laughed, Frank was astounded. If it were him, he would be crying asking for his mother._

_They did not know how long they were waiting but the current finally weakened. The sun was high on top of them and it pierced their eyes and skin. Frank even felt his clothes started to dry up. It was torture but at least they were alive._

_Mary felt a tap on her hand and the next thing she saw was a bottle of water. “I-I had two, but I finished the other one. You can have this,” the little boy said shyly, and Mary felt like crying. She thanked him and took a sip of the bottle before handing it to Frank. The bottle of water was shared with everyone else and the boy looked satisfied._

_“Good job, little man,” the tall man said proudly as he pulled the boy to his lap and the boy giggled at him. It was a beautiful sight, Mary thought. For once, it did not felt like they were in the middle of a tsunami._

_The tall man and the little boy spent their time playing I spy game, it was fascinating. After a while, he saw the man whispered something to the little boy, and the two of them smiled. It was apparent how much they loved each other, Frank was jealous. He never had a strong bond with his father, not like the one this kid has with the tall man._

_Mary suddenly gripped onto Frank’s arm hard. “Oh no,” she whispered and Frank finally saw it. There were bodies floating on the water, passing them. “Oh my god,” he breathed, and he felt the tall man moved beside him._

_He placed the boy beside Frank, so the boy could not see the bodies on the water. He engaged him in another game of I spy as they watched the bodies floating in front of them. The people on the fire truck silently weep for the dead; it was too much to handle. So Frank decided to just pray and listen to the boy happily played another game with his father._

_“I don’t know what I’m gonna tell your father,” the tall man said after a while. “You know, I take you out one time and, uh... look what happens.” He said with a sigh._

_“You saved me, and you saved them,” the boy said, and Frank could not agree more with the kid._

_“No, we did that together. Me and you make a great team. Give me a high five. I’m proud of you, really…” The man said as he gave the boy a small high five and a hug but then the current started to quicken._

_The fire truck shook as debris started to hit it and everyone started to panic. “The wave moved back to the sea,” the tall man said. “Everyone, hold tight.” And they did. One of them slipped into the water so the tall man reached for Frank and placed the boy beside him. “Please, watch him.” He said before he once again jumped to the water to help the drowning man._

_He held the boy tightly but the truck was shaking so hard and the next thing he knew, the little boy fell to the water. The tall man’s eyes widened in an instant and before anyone could stop him, the man jumped back to the water, calling out for the boy frantically._

***

“That was the last time I saw Buck and Chris. We wait for the water to recede before we walked here.” Frank said. He looked at Eddie apologetically; he felt responsible because Buck asked him to look for Chris but the boy disappeared on his watch.

Chris was sleeping peacefully on his arm, dried and warm, as he listened to Frank telling him about what happened. Buck was not lying. He was trying his best to save Christopher, but Chris falling to the water was outside of his control. It was a disaster. Anything could happen.

“Thank you, thank you, I need to hear that,” Eddie whispered. Without him realizing it, he was crying as he listened to Frank’s story. He almost lost Buck and Chris today but Buck fought so hard to keep Chris safe and bring him back to Eddie. Eddie did not know what would happen if Chris was not with Buck at that time. “I was confused, I was scared. I saw him first… He told me he lost Chris,” Eddie admitted. “I wanted to punch him. I wanted to be angry at him… Now I know…” He whispered regretfully.

“You almost lost your son. It’s okay… But for all I know, your partner tried really hard to keep him safe.” Mary said to assure Eddie and he forced a smile for them.

“Yeah, I know better…” Eddie whispered as he placed a kiss on Chris’s forehead.

“If you’re willing, can you give us your number? We want to know what happens to Buck and if we can we want to visit him to properly thank him.” Mary said and Eddie nodded at him. He moved mechanically to give the couple his number, his mind drifted back to Buck.

***

Christopher was cleared to go home by the morning. Eddie was thankful. The little boy was already smiling when the sun appeared and he asked whether they could see Buck or not. Eddie apologetically said no. Eddie did not know the detail but Buck was being transferred to another hospital for further inspection. Maddie visited him sometime during dawn, saying that she was there for Buck and he would accompany Buck in the other hospital. She told him to take care of Chris first but if he wanted to, he was more than welcome to visit Buck.

So, Eddie did. He drove back home and packed a bag for Chris before driving to Abuela’s house and left Chris there. Chris was reluctant at first but Eddie softly reasoned with him. He told him that Buck was still at the hospital so Eddie needed to take care of him so he could go home and play with Chris faster. After a promise that he would see Buck soon, Chris finally let him go.

Eddie drove to Buck’s apartment first and once again he packed spare clothes for Buck. It felt like déjà vu. It was not the first time he did this. He remembered when he first packed a bag for Buck after he learned about Buck’s blood clot. It still left a familiar ache on his heart and Eddie had to fight the tears that threaten to leave his eyes.

Maddie sent him the address of the hospital and the room where Buck was admitted. Eddie drove as fast as he could and the next thing he knew, he was standing in front of Buck’s room. Buck was sleeping on the bed, there were bandages on his head and his hands and there was an IV drip on his right side. Maddie was sitting on the chair beside him, she smiled and offered him a hug when he entered.

“He’s okay,” Maddie breathed and Eddie did not know whether Maddie was telling him or trying to make herself believe that his brother was okay.

“I’m glad,” Eddie answered with a smile as he tightened his hug.

“He was severely dehydrated, and I think he pushed himself too hard, he fainted because of fatigue. He woke up this morning but he went back to sleep right after,” Maddie explained. “He must have hit a lot of debris because there were bruises on his body but the anticoagulants made it looked worse. The medical staff did not know he was in anticoagulants, and they thought he had internal bleeding so they moved him here. They’re examining his clots again.”

“You should go home, Maddie. You need to rest.” Eddie offered but Maddie declined.

“Eddie, I need to look after him.” She said.

“Me too… I want to… I need to be here for him.” Eddie said and after a while, Maddie agreed. She left the hospital after buying dinner for Eddie. She also sneaked several kinds of snacks in case Buck woke up and he did not want to eat the hospital food. Eddie settled on the chair beside Buck’s bed and held his hand. He traced his finger on Buck’s wrist to feel his pulse and after a while, the steady pulse lulled him to his sleep.

He did not know how long he was sleeping but when he opened his eyes, he could see Buck’s eyes were opened. It was wide and he looked like a deer caught in the headlights but Eddie chose to ignore that. “Hey, you’re awake,” Eddie mumbled as he caressed Buck’s hand. “Do you want me to call your doctors?” He asked as he tried to get up but Buck stopped him.

“Eddie, what are you doing here?” Buck asked, and Eddie was desperate to wipe the fear and hesitation on Buck’s eyes. Buck looked like he did not believe Eddie would be there when he woke up. He did not know what Buck was thinking but he was sure he would not like it.

“Checking up on you,” He answered with a smile. “You give us quite a fright, you know.” He added, but Buck did not smile back at him. He looked as if he was thinking hard and it was painful for Eddie to see him like this. He looked so unsure with himself.

“Christopher,” Buck whispered.“Is he-”

“He’s okay, and he’s staying with my Abuela while I make sure you’re okay,” Eddie explained and suddenly he felt Buck pulled his hand away.

“Why?” Buck asked and Eddie was perplexed.

“Buck-”

“I lost him, Eddie. I lost him. You left him to me, and I lost him,” Buck said painfully. “You should yell at me, not doing this…”

“Buck, you saved him,” Eddie said to the other man. “You keep him safe, you keep everyone safe. I met one of the people you saved, Buck. They told me how you helped them.”

“No!” Buck shouted and Eddie was stunned. Buck never raised his voice at him, not even once. He did not know Buck was capable of doing that. “None of them matter. I still lost Chris.” He stated stubbornly. Eddie tried to reach for Buck’s hand so he could tell him that Buck was speaking nonsense but stopped when Buck opened his mouth.

“I failed him, Eddie. And I failed you. I tried to keep him safe, but I failed. I’m not enough. Maybe now, Chris turned out to be fine, but I don’t know what happens later when I keep failing you two.” Buck said and he looked like he was in pain. “I can’t afford to fail anymore, Chris deserves better.”

“Buck, what are you saying?” Eddie asked. He did not like this, not at all. He did not like the tone of Buck’s voice; he did not like to see his sad eyes and he did not like the words that came out of Buck’s mouth.

“I realized you two are better off without me,” Buck. “Eddie, I feel like it would be best if we ended our relationship.”


	10. Aftermath

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The tsunami changed their life. Eddie tried to recover.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This story does not comply with 9-1-1's actual storyline and both characters might be a little bit out of character. I am a sucker for badass Navy Seal Buck.
> 
> English is not my native language and I don't have someone to beta-ed this so I am sorry if there were grammatical errors here and there. I hope you enjoy the story :) Don't forget to leave a comment! :D

“Oh, I’m sorry, is my crisis boring you?” Chimney complained pulled him out from his mind. They were changing their uniform before they started their shift and Chimney started to rattle about his problem with Buck’s sister, Maddie. He did not hear most of the story; he was exhausted. He did not know he was yawning until Chimney complained that Eddie was disregarding his stories.

“Sorry, uh, didn't get much sleep last night,” He apologized in a weak tone as he put his glasses and stood up from the bench. “Christopher's been having nightmares ever since the tsunami,” He continued as he exhaled loudly. Chimney looked at him with understanding in his eyes.

“He and half the city. That's gotta be expected, though, right?” Chimney reasoned, and Eddie knew he was right. They just experienced one of the worse tsunami in California's history and the city was starting to rebuild everything. There was still missing person posters and vigils found anywhere around the city, it would take a while for the city to recover. Chimney was right but still, it was hard.

“He's waking up screaming and crying. Tried talking to him about it, but he won’t open up to me. Says he’s fine.” Eddie said dejectedly. It was hard to see Chris struggle like that and the worst part of it was knowing that Eddie could not help him. Christopher asked for Buck, he missed the blonde man. But Buck was gone. He left them as Shannon did years ago and he was blindsided.

It has been a month since Buck broke their relationship off and Eddie was still not used to the idea of Buck not being around. He found himself unconsciously typing a message to Buck but he always stopped before he sent it. He missed him, but Buck did not want him. Buck wanted out.

He remembered tried to talk some sense into Buck but the tall man was resolved with his decision. They fought that day, hard. Eddie tried his best to keep him around but Buck was determined to end their relationship.

“Don’t I get a say in this?” He remembered himself asking when he saw Buck turned his gaze away from him. He remembered he was close to crying but he fought it.

“I’m sorry, Eddie. I don’t think it’s going to work,” Buck said and Eddie left. He left because he did not know what to say, he left because he was angry. He thought they were doing great, he thought Buck will stay with him and Chris but he was wrong. He was not enough for Buck either.

Shannon leaving was foreseeable. He was not a good father; he was not a good husband. He could see why she left. But Buck, he could not fathom it. Buck said he wanted to stay. He said he wanted to be with Eddie and Chris but suddenly he did not want to. He thought Buck was happy with them; he did everything he could to make Chris and Buck happy but Buck left too. He was not good enough for Buck.

Maddie texted him sometimes telling him about his brother’s condition but Eddie only answered with a simple okay or good. Apparently, she did not know that Buck ended things with Eddie and she thought that the two of them were simply in an argument or something. The only people who knew were his team and he specifically told Chimney not to tell Maddie. It was Buck’s story, if he wanted her to know, Eddie would not be the one who tells her. The team was as devastated as him, they thought Eddie and Buck were a perfect match and it saddened them to see them separated.

Eddie did not know what to say, he did not want to let Buck go to but what could he do? He did not have anything to offer. Buck said Eddie and Chris were better off without him but he was wrong. It has only been a month and they were miserable. Eddie felt like he was missing a limb and Chris was devastated. He caught him once sneaking into his room to call Buck, Eddie stopped him and Chris cried. They were so attached to Buck and now when he left, they could not function properly. It was not Buck’s fault; it was Eddie’s. Buck did not ask for any of this, Eddie was the one who dragged him into his world. It broke his heart when he realized that he was not the only one paying the price of his actions, Chris too.

He remembered how scary it was when he first heard Chris’s cry. He was crying out for him and when he reached his room, Chris kept mumbling ‘He was drowning, he was drowning,’ Eddie did not know what to do with it so he kept his son close and whispered that everything was okay and Christopher was safe. He decided to bring Christopher for therapy.

He stopped going to the VA on his Thursday off so he could take Chris to a doctor. The school was adamant to let Chris go during the school day but the only time Eddie could bring him to the best child psychologist in town was on that day so they conceded. It was after all that was best for Christopher. They had been coming to the psych for almost a month, but Christopher was not getting better, he was getting impatient.

“Has he talked about the tsunami at all?” he asked the psych as they watched Chris drawing in the examination room. “I heard about what happened, but I'm still not sure what he saw that day.” He continued.

“We’re getting there,” The psych explained. “Christopher talked about being at the pier with Buck, how they played games.” He added. Buck again, always Buck, Eddie thought dejectedly.

“That part isn't the reason he's waking up every night screaming,” Eddie said, trying so hard to separate Buck from Christopher’s wellbeing. Buck wanted an out; he should get one.

“His subconscious is still processing the trauma. He's working his way through it. I know it's hard. You love your son. You wanna fix this, but it'll take some time.” The psych tried to encourage him and Eddie turned his gaze back to his son.

“Just wish he'd talk to me about it,” Eddie mumbled and the psych started to open his file and showed Eddie several pages of drawing, all made by Christopher.

“Maybe he’s trying to communicate in other ways,” He said, and Eddie took the file from the other man.

There was a picture of people drowning on the ocean but and a Ferris wheel on the background. There was HELP written next to the Ferris wheel as if the drowning people on the drawing were screaming for help. The next drawing was a picture of Chris on a fire truck in the midst of a tsunami. He was alone in that picture, but there was a smile on the boy’s face in the drawing. The last picture was a man being swallowed by a tall wave. Eddie did not know what it meant.

“A drowning man,” Eddie said as he glanced at his son.

“Yes, he does seem to be fixated on him,” the psych responded.

“Lot of people died in that tsunami. I know Buck tried to shield Chris from most of it, but...”

“I'm sure your friend did the best he could,” The psych said and Eddie wanted so bad to correct him. _He was my partner, he was so much more than a friend._

“They were separated a long time. Who knows what else he saw or who this drowning man was,” Eddie said in despair. He remembered the look on Buck’s face when he told him that he lost Christopher. Just thinking about it made his heart ache.

“He'll tell us when he's ready. In fact, if the opportunity's right, he might tell you first.” The psych said as encouragement but it did not help even a little bit.

“Is there anything I can do until then?” He asked. He was clueless, and he wanted his son to be better. If he could do something to help, he would.

“Just keep loving him,” The psych said and Eddie felt the pain on his chest came back.

That was the problem; he was lacking. Eddie brought Buck into their life and Chris was starting to get used to being loved by two parent figures. Chris adored Buck, and he loved the way Buck loved his son too but now Buck was gone. He did not know whether his love for Christopher was enough.

***

Just like any other night, Eddie tucked Chris onto his bed after they were done with their night routine. Chris was happy that day; he knew that therapy day could be exhausting for Chris so he decided that night, they could eat in the tree house. It did not feel the same without Buck, but Chris was happy at least.

“Let me see those pearly whites,” Eddie said as he put the blanket to cover Chris’s body. When Chris smiled, Eddie acted as if he was blinded by the lights reflecting from Chris’s teeth. “Whoa, whoa, very pearly,” he said as he tried to cover his eyes, making Chris giggled in return.

“Good job,” Eddie said proudly. “Hey, buddy, you know if there's anything bothering you, you can talk to me. You know that, right?” He said as sincere as he could so his son would believe him.

“I know, daddy,” Chris said and Eddie smiled at him. He wished him a good night before leaving Chris’s bedroom only to stop when he looked at Chris’s drawing.

Next to Chris’s drawing of their family, Chris, Eddie, and Shannon, there was a picture of Chris on the tree house. He remembered Chris made it after Buck finished the tree house, which made Chris so happy. The drawing was good but what caught his attention was between the tree house there was two men standing with a smile on their face. Eddie recognized it as himself and Buck. But the drawing of Buck was eerily similar to the drawing of the drowning man that the psych gave him.

Eddie rushed to his bedroom and rustled through his papers to find that drawing. When he found it, he went back to Chris’s bedroom to compare the two drawings. Yes, it was identical. The drowning man was Buck.

“Christopher?” He called, and he could tell Chris was still awake, he could hear him moved on the bed. “Is this Buck?” He asked and when he glanced at his son, he saw that Chris was close to crying.

He quickly approached his son and kneeled beside Chris’s bed. “Hey, is that who you've been dreaming about?” He asked and Chris nodded slowly. He put his hand on Chris’s cheek for assurance as he tried to look at his son’s eyes. “Why don’t you tell me?” He asked.

“I don't wanna make you sad,” Chris whispered, and Eddie pulled him into a hug.

“Oh, my,” he whispered as he hugged his son close, as tight as he could. “There's nothing wrong with being sad. I loved Buck and I miss him too, probably always will.” He said. “But, we still got each other, which means we’re gonna be okay,” He said.

“Okay,” Chris mumbled, but Eddie knew something was missing. “I miss Buck, so much…” The boy admitted and Eddie felt like crying. His boy was in agony, and he needed to make it better for him, even if he had to beg and plead for Buck. He would.

After he made sure that Chris was sleeping, he went to his bedroom to reach for his phone and moved to the back porch for privacy. He sat on a wooden chair as he opened his messaging application.

**_> > We need to talk_ **

He sent it to Buck. It was short and to the point. He needed to talk with Buck.

**_< < Something’s wrong?_ **

Buck’s response was quick. It did not take him a minute to reply. He did not change, even after they broke up. Buck was there, asking what was wrong so he could help. Eddie did not know how to feel about that.

**_> > It’s Chris_ **

He replied, and he heard his phone rang in an instant.

“Eddie, what’s wrong?” Buck asked, straight to the point and he could hear rustling on the other side of the phone. He did not know what to say, he was going to explain to Buck what was wrong. But hearing Buck’s voice was too much, he could not handle that, he ended up sobbing.

“I’ll be there in fifteen minutes,” Buck said with finality and before Eddie could say something, Buck ended the call.

Buck always stayed true to his words. In less than fifteen minutes, he heard a car approaching his house and stopped on his driveway. He got up from his seat and before he opened the door, he saw Buck entered the house with his keys. Buck looked good. He looked healthy but disheveled. It was almost a month since he last saw Buck and Eddie was a mess. Buck locked the door behind him before he turned and found Eddie staring at him. Eddie needed to say something but he only clutched on his phone tighter.

“Eddie,” Buck called and Eddie broke down.

“I’m sorry…” He mumbled and the next thing he knew, Buck was there, pulling him into a hug.

“Eddie, hey, hey,” Buck called as he held him tight. Buck was so warm. Eddie did not believe he survived a month without holding Buck close. “Tell me what’s wrong.” He said and Eddie broke the hug to go to the dining table and took Chris’s drawing and handed it to Buck.

Buck looked at the picture, but he was confused. He did not know what to make of the drawing. “That’s you,” Eddie whispered in agony, and Buck’s eyes widened in response.

“I did not know what happened to you two,” Eddie said as he tried to regain his breathing. “But Chris has been having nightmares, almost every night. He somehow associated you leaving with you drowning. He was so scared, I don’t know what to do…” He explained, and Eddie saw sadness in Buck’s eyes. Buck looked away and combed his hair roughly. He looked rigid, and Eddie could see Buck was conflicted.

“This…” Buck whispered and his voice broke. “This... This is why I can’t be here anymore.” He voiced, and Eddie felt his heart breaking. He was putting so much pressure on Buck, of course, Buck would crack. Buck did not ask for any of this but Eddie unconsciously shared his burden as a father to Buck. It was too much.

“I hurt him, Eddie,” Buck said. “I lost him, and I ended up hurting him,” he continued. “Nightmares, sadness. That what Chris get because I’m not good enough. I bring pain to people, and Chris does not deserve it. He’s everything; I can’t hurt him again.” Eddie was angry.

“Shut up!” He exclaimed. “You don’t know what you did. You made him so happy, you gave him so much love, more than anyone could give him. He’s sad not because of you. He’s miserable because you left,” Eddie said, his voice high and his anger apparent. “He’s sad because he missed you, not because you screw up and hurt him.” He continued. How could Buck think that he hurt Chris when all he did was made them happy? Buck made their family whole and he acted as if he ruined them.

“A natural disaster happened, Buck. It was beyond your control.” Eddie said.

“I lost him, Eddie.”

“No, you saved him. That's how he remembers it. You think you failed? I failed that kid more times than I care to count, and I'm his father. But I love him enough to never stop trying, and I know you do too.” He said with finality. “Buck...there's nobody in this world I trust with my son more than you.” He stated, hoping that Buck understand his words but he felt like he was speaking to a deaf ear.

“Eddie-”

“No, stop your bullshit!” Eddie exclaimed in anger. “If you don’t want me, you don’t want Chris, go ahead, leave. If you think it’s too bothersome to take care of a disabled kid, leave. But never, don’t even dare think that you leaving is for our own good, because it’s not. Chris’s miserable without you. Hell, I can’t function without you,” He continued, and he felt tears fell from his eyes. He tried to wipe it off but he stopped when once again Buck pulled him in for a hug.

“Please, Eddie. You’re making it so hard for me to turn away.” Buck pleaded. “It’s hard, so hard, not to be around but I know better. I know I would only hurt you and Chris; I can’t afford it. I’m never enough, I won’t be enough for you two and you deserve everything. I can’t…” He whispered, and he could feel Buck was shaking.

“We don’t want you to leave; we want you here. What can I do to make you believe me?” Eddie whispered because Buck was so determined. Buck needed to know how important he was for Eddie and Chris, how happy he made them feel. Buck did not answer him so Eddie held him tighter, hoping that it was enough for Buck right now. He did not know how long they were standing there but he broke the hug when he heard Chris’s pained cry.

“DAD!” Chris called and both of the adults were alert. Chris was having another nightmare. Eddie was going to run to his son’s room but stopped when he heard Chris cried. “Bucky!” Chris called, and he saw Buck froze on his spot.

“If you can’t believe me, maybe you should see for yourself,” Eddie said as he glanced at Buck. He went to Chris’s room, and he could tell Buck was following him from behind. He knew it was cruel; he knew it was harsh, but he did not know what to do anymore. If Buck did not believe him, maybe he’d believe Christopher.

Chris was trashing on his bed so Eddie reached for him to wake him up. “It’s okay, mijo… It’s just a dream…” Eddie mumbled as he enveloped Chris with a hug but he knew it was not enough. Chris needed more and it was apparent. Chris cried as he clung to Eddie but Eddie could not calm him down. Eddie loosened his hold on Christopher and turned his body so Christopher could see his surroundings. Chris’s eyes widened when he saw Buck on the door.

“Bucky…” he called between sobs as he raised his small hands to Buck.

Buck moved as quickly as he could. He joined them on the bed and pulled Chris to his lap. The boy cried as he latched onto him. It was too much for Eddie, he could not handle all of this. He needed to leave. He made sure that Chris was perfectly safe in Buck’s arms before he stood up to leave but Buck stopped him. He searched for something in Eddie’s eyes and Eddie did not fight him when Buck pulled him down and gathered him into his arms.

For the first time in a month, he cried. He cried for his son who was suffering. He cried for himself for being so limited. And he cried for Buck because Buck was so wonderful and yet he could not see it. Buck was everything they needed and yet he was so sure that Eddie needed more. He clung to the blonde man and cried.

Chris rested his head on Buck’s shoulder and Eddie softly rubbed his arm to soothe him. He saw Buck placed a kiss on Chris’s temple as he told him that Chris was okay. He still looked so unsure, and Eddie hated it. He placed his hand on Buck’s cheek and turned Buck’s face toward him. “You’re here, we’re okay now.” He whispered softly, and he felt Buck’s hands on them tightened.


	11. The Letter from Hell

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Eddie thought they were going to be alright, but apparently he was wrong

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This story does not comply with 9-1-1's actual storyline and both characters might be a little bit out of character. I am a sucker for badass Navy Seal Buck.
> 
> Sorry it took a long time for me to update again but here it is! The next chapter of the story ~
> 
> English is not my native language and I don't have someone to beta-ed this so I am sorry if there were grammatical errors here and there. I hope you enjoy the story :) 
> 
> Don't forget to leave a comment! :D

That morning, he opened his eyes and found Christopher sleeping on his chest. The space beside him was empty, and his body went cold. Buck left, and Eddie felt his heart broke. The night before, Eddie dragged Buck and Chris to his bedroom to rest. Eddie usually did not condone that behavior. He rarely let Chris slept on his bed, but last night was different. They needed each other close and if they had to share a bed for Chris to have a good sleep then so be it. He remembered settling Chris in the middle of the bed before going to his drawer and took a spare of Buck’s clothes. Buck knew what he had to do without asking, so he took the clothes from Eddie and went to the bathroom to change while Eddie settled on the bed beside his son.

He turned his body sideways so he could get a better look at his son and his heart felt like breaking when he saw Christopher’s puffy eyes. He nudged Chris to lay on the bed but Chris refused, eyes fixed on the bathroom door as if he was waiting for Buck to come back. He looked so unsure as if Buck would disappear if he looked away, Eddie shared the same feeling. Chris raised his hands, asking for a hug when Buck opened the bathroom door and joined them in the room. Buck complied, settling on the edge of the bed and held Chris close before he settled on the bed beside Eddie.

Eddie should see the signs that night. He was supposed to be observant, but he was not able to focus. He saw Buck put his clothes on the chair of his desk instead of the hamper as if he would use those clothes again. He should see it when Buck put all of his belongings in one place so he could gather all of it quickly when he left. He should see the hesitation on Buck’s face when he joined them on the bed as if he did not belong there. There were so many signs warning him that Buck would leave, but Eddie foolishly ignored them.

Eddie knew what he wanted and that moment, he felt like his heart was crashing. The spot beside him was cold, so cold as if no one occupied it the night before. He looked around and found Buck’s clothes, and belongings were gone and he did not need to check to see that Buck’s car was also missing from his driveway. He felt like crying again so he just held Chris tighter.

Last night was exhausting and he did not have the heart to wake Chris up for school. It was Friday so Eddie made an executive decision to excuse Chris from school. He reached for his phone on the nightstand and stopped when he saw a notification from Buck. He dreaded seeing the message, so he ignored it and opened his contacts to search for Chris’s teacher’s number. He called her, informing her that Chris would not be able to make it to school because they had a really bad night and Chris was exhausted. The teacher was understanding.

Bobby was understanding too. Eddie messaged him saying that he had to take a day off because he wanted to take care of Chris and his Captain accepted his requests without any hesitation. Eddie was a single father, he had no one to help him taking care of Chris and Bobby understood there would be a time where Eddie could not attend his shift to take care of his son. It did not happen often, in fact for the last two years Eddie worked in their station, he never requested a day off. He always agreed when someone asked him to cover their shift and he often pulled double shifts. He needed the money. Between Christopher and his long divorce process, he needed all the money he could get to finance everything. Bobby understood something really bad must have happened if Eddie requested a day off.

Eddie fixed Chris’s position on the bed and prepared himself before he opened Buck’s message.

**_< < I need to take care of something. Call me after you wake up_ **

****

It was not a goodbye; Buck was not leaving. He did not slam the door on them; he wanted Eddie to call him after he woke up. The cold on his body remained but Eddie felt his heart warming a bit. He had to make sure that Buck was not leaving; He made his call.

“Eddie?” Buck answered his call before the third ring and Eddie could feel his body relaxing in an instant.

“You’re not here…” Eddie whispered. He did not make an accusation; he was not mad. He just stated a fact.

“I need to take care of something,” Buck said. “Chris up, yet?”

“No, he’s still sleeping,” Eddie said as he gazed at the sleeping boy beside him. He unconsciously started to pet Chris’s hair.

“Okay, listen, Eddie, I need to go but I’ll come by the station during lunch. I need to talk to you about something,” Buck said.

“I took a day off, Chris’s not going to school today,” Eddie said. “You can come over if you want,” he continued.

“I-I don’t think it’s a good idea,” Buck said, and Eddie knew something was wrong. “Eddie, I-”

“I understand,” Eddie said, cutting Buck’s words. “Meet us in the park if you want to,” he continued before he ended the call.

Eddie was tired, he thought that they were okay but apparently not. Buck was hesitating and Eddie felt like he was losing his mind. He did not know what to do. He bared everything to the other man. He begged for Buck to be with them, he pleaded, he even cried in front of him. He honestly did not know what to do anymore. Would it be easier for them if Eddie yielded? Should he stop begging? Should he really listen to Buck and let him go? Can he? He did not know.

***

Eddie could see sadness on Chris’s face when he woke up with no trace of Buck around but he did not cry. He smiled sweetly when Eddie tried to cheer him up and Eddie could see it was genuine. Eddie explained to him that Buck had to do something but he promised to meet them at Chris’s favorite park, the boy beamed instantly as if he did not just go through a very hard night. Chris was amazing, he always thought. Eddie did not know how Chris could be that strong and happy even after everything. He thanked God every day for such a magnificent son.

As they ate their breakfast, Eddie started to prepare their lunch at the park. It was a sunny day so Eddie took a small ice cooler box and put several juice-boxes and mineral waters inside. It was plenty for both of them but it should be enough if Buck indeed shows up. He packed five sandwiches and several chips for the three of them before washing up. After putting on a t-shirt and jeans, he started to pack their lunch inside the truck, and Chris joined him with a bag on his shoulder. He usually held the bag for Chris and checked what he had inside but if Chris decided he wanted to do it himself, Eddie would not stop him.

Eddie parked his car on the parking spot across the park and helped Chris out of the car before taking their picnic basket out. Chris was beaming when he felt the cool breeze on his face and Eddie could not help the smile on his face. They eagerly made their way to the park.

The park was not crowded as it was still a workday and Eddie was grateful, he did not really enjoy crowded places. Eddie found a spot where they could reside. There was a big shady tree near the fountain and Eddie decided it would be better if they settled underneath it so they could avoid the direct sunlight. He spread the mat, and he could see Chris was excited. The little boy quickly sat on the mat before he poured the content of his bag. Their mat was instantly covered with toys but Eddie was not complaining.

Eddie took a juice box for Christopher and a bottle of mineral water and he laid his body beside his son. The boy was preoccupied with his LEGOs, and he dared to swat Eddie’s hand when Eddie playfully took one of the pieces.

“Daddy,” Chris whined as Eddie teased him. Eddie knew he was not supposed to tease his son but he could not help himself when he heard giggles came out of Chris’s mouth when he watched him being silly.

“Okay, okay, my bad…” He conceded. “What are you making, mijo?” He asked.

“I believe it’s a firetruck,” He got his answer but it was not from Chris.

He realized that Buck was standing beside their mat with a big smile on his face. He already changed from the clothes he had yesterday, and he looked fresh. Eddie knew the other man was a former NAVY Seal member but Buck had to learn not to startle Eddie with his sudden appearance. He was good at doing anything stealthily and Eddie remembered this was not the first time Buck sneaked at them. He remembered the first time when he unconsciously admitted his feelings and the blonde man heard him.

“Bucky!” Chris exclaimed, but he was struggling to get up so Buck took off his sneakers and joined them on the mat. Chris smiled when Buck pulled him on his lap and enveloped him in a hug. “I miss you this morning,” Chris said as he settled comfortably on Buck’s lap.

“Sorry, buddy,” Buck said as he playfully squeezed Chris tight. “I had some errands to do.”

“It’s okay,” Chris said as he patted Buck’s cheek making the two adults smiled at him.

“I had to say that’s a really cool truck you made, Chris,” Buck said as he took some of the lego pieces and handed them to Chris to continue his activity. The boy beamed.

“Yeah, but Daddy doesn’t know what it is…”

“That’s because daddy is a dum-dum with no imagination,” Buck commented playfully and the two of them laughed at Eddie.

“Ey, that’s not nice. I’m wounded,” Eddie said in devastation but he could not help but smile at Chris.

It was a good day. Chris was happy and Eddie was too. After they ate their lunch, Chris decided that he wanted to play in the jungle gym. Buck being his devout disciple, of course, indulged the boy so off the two of them went. Eddie watched the two of them played from his spot on the mat. Eddie was always amazed by Buck’s capacity of playing with Christopher. Christopher might be limited and he might be not as fast as other kids but he was still a kid like any other. He had so much energy inside his little body that drained even Eddie. Buck did not look like he was tired at all.

Eddie could not hear them but he saw Chris playfully whispered something to Buck and the next thing he knew Buck picked Chris up and put him on his shoulder like a potato sack. He used his other hand to get Chris’s crutches before he went back to their mat.

“Little prince right here wants some orange juice,” Buck said and he could hear Chris happily giggled from his behind. Buck maneuvered Chris back to the mat and the boy happily took the juice box Eddie gave him.

They settled back on the mat and Eddie heard Buck’s phone vibrated in his pocket. The blonde man reached for his phone and read his notification before excusing himself from their spot.

“Where you going?” Eddie asked.

“Wait here, okay? I want you to meet someone,” Buck said before he left and after five minutes, he went back with a lady in tow.

They talked as they approached the mat and Eddie watched them from his spot. The lady had a dark hair and dark skin color. Her smile was wide and welcoming and Eddie could hear her. She was loud but her voice was caring and friendly.

They stood beside the mat and the lady sweetly waved at Chris. “Eddie, meet Carla.” Buck said. “She’s the best nurse Los Angeles had and I believe she could help you with Chris.” He continued and Eddie was aghast.

“I believe you’re the infamous Chris,” Carla said to Christopher and the boy giggled at her. Chris shyly introduced himself and Carla gushed at him. She diverted Chris’s attention from the two silent adults beside them and the next thing Eddie knew, Carla and Chris already roamed away to the park’s fountain.

“Buck-”

“Wait, Eddie, just let me explain,” Buck said. “I met Carla during my therapy session. I learned that her last patient just passed away and she was in between job. She’s a professional nurse and he could help you with Chris. Not that you and your family are not capable, but she could help you with more. Better school, more equipped therapy, paper works, whatever Chris needs, she is more than capable to do it.” He blabbered and Eddie nodded.

“Why?” Eddie asked.

“Because you have so much in your plate and I believe it would ease your mind if you know Chris is in good hand while you’re away,” Buck explained but Eddie felt like there was something he was hiding.

“We managed before,” Eddie said. “I have Abuela and Pepa and you,” he continued and Buck went rigid in an instant.

“I’m glad you can rely on me, Eddie,” Buck said. “But we both know even I can’t be around all the time,” he continued.

_What the hell was that?!_

***

Eddie ended up hiring Carla as Chris’s personal nurse and Buck was right, his life became so much easier. Carla was a godsend. She helped him with everything that Chris needed. She helped Eddie with the paper works needed to submit a request for the VA to cover Chris’s monthly therapy as a benefit of him being a veteran and she found a perfect school for Christopher. When the next school year came, Christopher would join a new school that could help special kids like him and it was all thanks to Carla. She helped Eddie when he had overtimes and she even taught Abuela and Pepa to properly helped Chris with his therapy. Everyone was grateful.

But having Carla around came with a price. Not that Carla was expensive, she worked at a surprisingly low fee but even if she charged him higher fee, Eddie would not complain. The only setback of having Carla around was Eddie felt like slowly Buck was retreating from his place. He stopped picking up Chris from his school because Carla had it covered. He stopped helping Chris with home works because Carla already helped him. His visit to their house was limited to once a week and Eddie hated it.

Eddie told him that Buck still could do everything he used to do with Christopher if he wanted to and Buck only smiled at him, muttering ‘I know’ before the blonde man changed the subject of their conversation. Buck kept dodging Eddie’s attempt of talking to him and even after three months of having Carla around, Eddie felt like Buck was slowly drifting away. The worst part of it was he felt like Buck was a willing participant in all of these ordeals.

On month four, Abuela fell on her porch and fractured her hips. She was admitted to a nearby hospital and after three weeks she was cleared to go home. She was healthy and happy but because Eddie had to cover for her bills in the hospital, he was a bit late with his payment with Carla. It was Friday and Eddie was supposed to come home with an envelope of money for Carla’s salary that month but he came home empty-handed. He was going to ask for at least a week to pay for her wages as he currently was waiting for his salary that month. He usually had back up to pay for Carla but they were running thin because of Abuela’s bill.

“Carla, I’m sorry… I don’t think I can’t pay you for this month right now,” Eddie said apologetically when Chris was not around. “I promise I can pay you by next week after I get my salary,” He added as assurance.

“Ëddie, relax, it’s okay,” the lady said understandingly but Eddie was aghast. She should be angry at Eddie. She worked so hard taking care of Chris and now Eddie was not able to pay her. She should be furious.

“No, Carla, that’s not okay,” Eddie said. “I promise it won’t happen again,” he continued. “You deserve your salary and I’m so sorry I could not pay you on time.”

“Eddie, relax, besides Buck had it covered.” She said calmly and Eddie stopped.

“What?” Eddie asked. He did not know how he looked right now, but Eddie was stunned. Why did she suddenly mentioned Buck? What Buck had to do with all of these?

“Oh, you don’t know,” Carla stated as she saw the shock on Eddie’s face.

“Apparently not. What do you mean Carla?” He asked.

“No, no, that’s my mistake, just don’t mind it.” She quickly said as she tried to divert his attention but Eddie remained still.

“Carla, stop, you’re going to tell me whatever it is that I don’t know,” he demanded, and Carla looked at him hesitantly.

“Eddie, no, it’s not my place to say,” she said. “If Buck wants you to know, he will tell you himself,” she continued.

“No, no that’s not how it works with Buck,” Eddie stated. “He can’t even look at me in the eyes now, how the hell I am supposed to know about any of this?” He continued in frustration. “Please, Carla, just answer me,” he pleaded and Carla yielded.

She made a cup of tea as she told Eddie to sit on the dining table. She handed him the cup before she sat in front of Eddie and sighed. “The first time Buck told me about you two; I was in between jobs. He thought it would be a good idea to introduce me to you, but he was a bit hesitant when he learned about my experiences,” she explained.

“Experience?” Eddie asked foolishly and Carla smiled at him.

“Yes, Eddie, I’ve been working as a nurse for fifteen years. The more experience we have, of course, increases our fee, no?” Carla stated and Eddie nodded. “It’s not that I do this for the money; I will gladly do this without pay but that’s just how things are.”

“I understand,” Eddie stated and he gestured her to continue.

“I offered to lower my fee but Buck refused so he told me I could offer you a lower fee but he would cover the rest.” She said and Eddie went rigid. He did not know what to say, he did not know what to feel. Should he be glad because Buck helped? Or should he be offended because Buck did it? He did not know.

“How much did he covered?” He asked and Carla sighed.

“You paid one-third of my usual salary; Buck covered the rest,” She explained. Eddie did quick math inside his mind but he stopped before he finished his calculation.

“Mierda,” he cursed as he clenched his fist.

“He already paid for a year, Eddie, that’s why I was fine when you said you’re late in paying me,” She explained. “I don’t mean to out him like this,” she continued and Eddie nodded. Buck knowingly paid Carla for something he did not have to. Even after everything, he still helped him and Chris and Eddie did not know why even after all of these, Buck still kept his distance from them. Could not he see how much he had done to his family?

“Anything else you want to share with me?” He asked. His tone was grim and his face expressionless. He was so confused he felt like screaming.

“Eddie-” Carla looked bewildered, she knew more and she refused to tell Eddie about it.

“Please, Carla, I need to know,” Eddie begged and she nodded.

“Chris’s school… They have enrollment and capital fee every year but it was excluded from your charge, he paid for it.” Carla explained, and Eddie could not take it anymore.

The next thing he knew, he asked Carla to watch for Chris and waited for Pepa to come over and he left the house. He took his car keys and he drove to Buck’s apartment. He still had Buck’s spare keys on him, Buck never asked it back and he needed to see the other man now.

He parked his car clumsily before marched to Buck’s apartment. He used his keys but he could not see Buck anywhere. He heard the sound of water running in the bathroom but something else caught his attention. The usually minimalist apartment had changed. Most of Buck’s furniture was gone and Eddie could see nothing but boxes everywhere. Even the gym was gone but he saw a big box labeled ‘sports equipment’ near Buck’s windows. What the hell was going on? Eddie did not have any clue.

He saw a box of pizza on Buck’s kitchen counter and beside it was a pile of documents and opened letters. He made his way to the counter and examined the papers in front of him. It was Buck’s medical record. Blood results, physiotherapy notes, psychologist notes, even the records from the VA support groups meeting, it was all there and underneath the pile, Eddie saw a letter he wished he never found.

The letter was short, it was only a half paper long but it was enough to crash Eddie’s heart in seconds. He could feel his body shook violently, and his eyes started to blur a little. The boxes, the letter… Buck would leave him, again. This was it, the remaining piece of the puzzle Eddie tried so hard to solve. Now he knew; he understood now.

Now he knew why Buck asked to break up with him. He realized that Buck was aware that the evaluation was happening and there was a possibility for him to get back to NAVY. He knew why Buck told him that he was not going to be around all the time. Now he knew why Buck encouraged him to hire Carla. Buck knew he was leaving. Buck knew he would not be there for Eddie and Christopher. Buck was preparing them for the idea of his absence. He prepared them for a life without him so Eddie and Christopher would not be too attached to Buck that they could not function without him. He slowly drifted away because he was going to leave soon. He was so reluctant to be with Eddie and Christopher because he knew it was only temporary.

He did not hear the water stopped running from inside the bathroom, and the bathroom door was being opened. He did not hear Buck’s voice calling him when the blonde man saw him in the kitchen. He did not hear the sound of Buck’s steps on the stairs as he approached him. His entire body was numb, but he felt Buck’s hand when it touched his arm. He jumped as he clutched the letter tighter.

“Eddie?” Buck looked concerned. “What’s w-” He stopped when he saw the letter in Eddie’s hand.

“You told me you retired,” Eddie whispered in disbelief. Buck looked conflicted but he did not care. He felt tears fell from his eyes.

“I never said that,” Buck stated. “I told you I was inactive.” He continued.

“So, what? Suddenly you’re reinstated, so you just going to leave?” Eddie asked, he could feel anger in his voice but he could not care less. He was hurting. He was going to be left again. Buck did not answer him.

“You’re really leaving?” Eddie asked and he saw Buck turned his gaze away from him.

“Yes,” he answered dejectedly. His answer was final. Yes, he was leaving. He was going to leave Eddie, Christopher too, and Eddie did not know whether they could see him again or not.

“Why? Why can’t you tell me, Buck? If I did not come here today, would you ever going to tell me?” Eddie asked as he furiously tried to wipe the tears on his cheeks but Buck remained silent. “Why can’t you just tell me? Why do you have to hide all of this?” He continued.

“Because I know you’ll hate me for this Eddie,” He answered dejectedly, his voice was weak and Eddie tried so hard not to punch him right there. Buck was wrong! Of course, he would not hate him for this! There was no way he would hate Buck, no way! Whatever happened, Eddie would never hate Buck.

“No, Buck… How could I hate you for this? It’s your duty, I just-” Eddie said as he looked back at the paper.

“You might not hate me for serving, but you’ll hate me when you learn that I asked for this,” Buck said, cutting his statement and Eddie could see regrets on his face. “Yes, Eddie, I was the one who requested for reinstatement,” Buck stated and Eddie succumbed to the floor.


	12. Evan

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> How Buck see things

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This story does not comply with 9-1-1's actual storyline and both characters might be a little bit out of character. I am a sucker for badass Navy Seal Buck.
> 
> Sorry it took a long time for me to update again but here it is! Struggled to make this chapter because for once it came from Buck's point of view.
> 
> English is not my native language and I don't have someone to beta-ed this so I am sorry if there were grammatical errors here and there. I hope you enjoy the story :)
> 
> Don't forget to leave a comment! :D

Evan “Buck” Buckley was born in a family with Celtic descent and was named after his father, Evan Buckley Jr and his grandfather, Evan Buckley Sr. His name had many meanings, gracious in Welsh, a good man in Greek but he was none of that. In Gaelic, Evan came from the word “Eóghan” which meant a young warrior, just like his father and his father before him, he was born to be a soldier.

His grandfather fought in the Second World War, and he was in Iwo Jima to witness the bombing of Hiroshima and Nagasaki. He came back to the mainland victorious to marry a nurse, his grandmother, and father two sons, his father being the oldest, before going back to fight in the Vietnam war where he perished. Buck never knew his grandfather, but he saw his old photo on their living room and his name engraved in the Vietnam Veterans Memorial. He died young, but he was true to his name, his grandfather died as a young warrior.

Just like his grandfather, his father was also true to his name. By the time he turned 17 years old, he joined the Navy and served the country for years. On his day off, his father would go to a bar near his base camp where he met a feisty young waitress, his mother. They got married and on their first anniversary, his older sister, Madeline, or Maddie, was born. He served for years and after ten years of waiting, Buck was born. His father was not a bad man, but he was absent. He spent all of his time on the naval ship, and Buck only saw him during holidays. He sent money for his mother to raise him and Maddie but with the money, also came expectations. During holidays, he would look at Buck, asked him about school and his activity, and If he was satisfied, he would give Buck a pat on his shoulder and Buck craved for it.

He tried all of his might to earn that pat. At the age of six, his father enrolled him in a military school. It was the same with other schools, but they stayed in a dorm and they had a strict military program. While Buck stayed in a boarding school out of states, Maddie studied in a public school near home. Buck did not envy her at all, he was proud to study in this school. He was training to be the best warrior, it was his destiny. It was what he was born to do. He was happy he could make his father proud.

He craved for more, he wanted to be the best and his hard work was finally paid off. He skipped grades, attended thousands of stem programs, aced his SAT, joined sports clubs and community services, and by the age of 15 years old, he received nominations to attend United States Military Academy and Naval Academy. He was one of the youngest people ever receiving that nomination considering someone must be at least 17 years of age to enroll but he was more than ready to join the academy and so they gave him an exemption. Of course he chose Naval Academy, there was no doubt in his decision. His father served as a sailor, he would too. After packing his bag and left military school, his father drove him straight to Maryland to the academy. There was no time for a family reunion; he even missed Maddie’s engagement party but it was fine. His father wore his dress uniform proudly when they arrived at USNA and after fifteen years of his life, he saw his father smiled. ‘Good job,’ he said after he accompanied Buck to finish his papers and get settled in the dormitory. Buck never been happier.

However, just before he finished his education in the academy, his mother died. Many said it was an accident but Buck knew better. For years, when Buck came home, he saw bruises all over her bodies. He even caught her putting on makeup to cover the bruising on her face. He knew it was his father’s doing. His father never raised a hand at him, not because he could not, just because Buck was not there. He spent almost all of his time in a boarding school or academy, he was not present long enough to receive a beating. He did get one, when he confronted his father after his mother’s funeral. Both men were angry and they fought but Buck was young and he was stronger. He came out of that fight with a black eye and ripped lips but his father was admitted to a hospital for fractured ribs. He was going to receive a penalty from the academy for his action, but his father refused to press charges and his record remained clear.

He joined the Navy at the age of eighteen, one of the youngest but he did not know why it mattered anymore. He did not have anyone to impress; his mother was dead and his father… he chose not to see him anymore. Maddie tried to mend their relationship, she was trying so hard but they were both Buckleys, stubborn, and quick to anger. When he turned nineteen years old, his father visited him to congratulate him on earning a spot in the Navy SEAL screening program. His father told him that he changed, but Buck did not care. He asked though, why did his father hurt his own wife and he remembered his answer clearly. “Because that’s what we do… Buckley men are not meant for a family; we are meant to be soldiers. Our hands are made to destroy things, we can only hurt people,” he answered, and Buck thought it was absurd.

It only took him two years to realize that his father was right. After one year of brutal training and screening, Buck finally passed as a member of the U.S. Navy SEAL. He was one of the first to be deployed, and Maddie was there to send him off when he did. His first deployment was to Kabul, Afghanistan and he joined a team under the leadership of Tyrone S. “Rone” Woods. Rone was quick to teach him everything, and Buck was even quicker to adapt. It was in his blood; he felt at home, he finally understood what his father was saying. He never felt more alive than when he was on a battlefield. He was quick to take someone else’s life, and he had no mercy. He was quick to learn Dari, he thought it was needed for their survival and he was right. He was a natural soldier.

During his deployment, Buck grew closer with his teammates. He learned about their families, their hobbies, their past life, and it bonded them as brothers. He learned they had someone to come home to, wives, kids, while Buck had no one. He was grateful. He did not experience the stress his teammates faced, he had no fear. His teammates were scared to die; they were scared to leave their family behind, but he was not. He had no one to come home to; he had nothing to lose, he was at ease.

And then he met Eddie Diaz.

He remembered pulling Eddie from under helicopter debris. His eyes were shut but he was fighting furiously when Buck tried to pull him to safety. His face was covered with blood and Buck decided to ease his worries by cleaning the blood on Eddie’s face with his drinking water. When Eddie opened his eyes, Buck felt his inside stirred. Eddie’s eyes were brown, big and sharp, there was fear on it but also determination. He looked like he was ready to fight anyone to survive, Buck was hooked.

They brought Eddie and his wounded teammates to safety and Buck remembered Eddie approaching him during his watch to treat his wounds. Buck knew Eddie helped treated everyone’s wounds but he felt special. Eddie’s hands were firm, but his touch was delicate. It reminded him of his mother, and Buck felt his body yearned for more. He remembered devouring Eddie with all his might and he was proud to be the first man to ever touch him in such intimate ways. After that pleasurable night, his attention was solely focused on Eddie. He tried his hardest to keep Eddie comfortable and safe in the middle of a battlefield, up until the time he watched Eddie left in a chopper. He was heartbroken to watch Eddie leaving but there was greater relief filling his body knowing that Eddie would be safe, away from the battleground.

Three weeks after their meeting, Rone told Buck and Silva to go back to the hub to pick up Steve who was finally cleared to join the team again after a bullet pierced his stomach. They were also tasked to get food and ammo for the team because they were running thin on both. They drove for four hours, and they made it safely to the hub. They first loaded their Humvee with food and ammo that would last them a while before they made their way to the medical barrack.

Steve was as feisty as before and he was excited to go back to the field. He told them that he was getting bored with the soft beds and the full meal he was getting. He missed the cold and hard surface of the ground when he slept and the disgusting MRE they ate. He also told them about Eddie. He said the other man was quick to recover, and he already continued his duty as an army medic while waiting for his deployment to end. Buck never told anyone, but he did saw Eddie that day. He saw him treating another patient and Buck was once again filled with yearning. It was not hard to realize that he was attracted to Eddie and he felt the other man also harbored the same feeling towards him. He wanted to approach the other man, asked him for anything so Buck could reach him someday. He wanted to see him again. But then he remembered his fathers and his words, how they were not meant to be a part of a family, and how they were only capable of hurting others, so he stopped. He stopped himself from approaching Eddie and followed his teammates back to their Humvee to go back to the battlefield.

Years went by, and Buck was living his life in a warzone. Every fight he fought, he fought as if it was his last. He educated himself in war strategy, took the initiative to plan a mission, and saved as many people as he could. Every time he went back to the mainland; he received a promotion and a medal. Maddie was so proud of him, but he did not think it meant anything. He just wanted to go back to the warzone and saved more people. He usually only lasted two to three months in the mainland, spending most of his time training new recruits and visiting Maddie on his day off before he received another deployment notice, packed his bag, and went back to war.

It was his fourth tour; he got his own team after he was being promoted to Chief Petty Officer. There were ten of them, including two of their newest recruits. They were stationed in Aleppo, Syria where conflicts rose between the people and the Syrian president. It was a mess, the rebels tried to fight the regime while the regime brutally used chemical weapons and opened fire to everyone who was against them. His team worked as a relief team, their existence was covered up and their involvement was denied by the government. It was an all-around stealth mission, moving people outside of the city to become refugees or they would end up dead in Aleppo. His team called him Capt, the Kid nickname was long buried after his original team disbanded. Rone had retired while Steve moved to Hawaii to work in a special state task force. Silva also promoted as a CPO like him, while sadly Bub, real name Glen Doherty, passed away a couple of years ago. His new team was just as good as his old one but he had bigger responsibilities. He was the leader of the group, his team looked up to him and they relied on him to bring them home back to the mainland.

It has been a year since they were stationed in Aleppo when their informant told them that one of the conflict districts had been abandoned by the rebels and as the rebels left, the people there became vulnerable to the regime soldiers. They went there to help transport the civilians but instead they were ambushed. He was shot in the stomach and his leg; he fell to the ground and he knew he would be dead soon but then he felt another body fell on top of him, shielding him from the rain of bullets. It was one of the new recruits, he was dead, one shot on the head before he fell to the ground on top of him. He could not move, his consciousness started slipping but he heard the backup team arrived and a crossfire happened. He remembered being dragged away from the ground before everything went dark.

He did not remember much. He received a report that three of his teammates died in the ambush while two people, alongside him, was severely wounded while the remaining four people managed to survive the ambush with minor wounds. An investigation began right after to determine whether a foul play happened or not. The result, their informant was compromised. His family was held hostage and in return for their freedom, their informant had to lure them out of their hideout. He received other medals, one for his service and a purple heart for his wounds from his last deployment. Once again, he did not know what it was all for. He decided, after eight years with US Navy SEAL; it was finally time for him to retire.

He never filed the paper works, but he remained inactive after he went back to California. His sister demanded him to stay in Los Angeles and after a month experiencing nightmares, his sister suggested for him to visit nearby VA support group meeting. And there, he once again saw Eddie. Eddie changed, he was still as handsome as before but he looked more mature, more reserved. He was still as friendly as before and Buck was once again, hooked.

Eddie was amazing. At first he was reluctant with the idea of being around Buck but it was quickly changed after they spent another night together. Eddie was as enticing as seven years ago and Buck could not keep his hands away. Eddie was effortlessly tantalizing and Buck wanted him, he was glad Eddie wanted him too. It was supposed to be a casual thing where they fucked and continued on with their lives but Eddie did not read the memo. He helped Buck with his nightmare and he introduced him to his son, Christopher.

It was supposed to be harmless, but Buck was captivated. He was fixed by Eddie and Christopher. They treated him like family and after twenty-eight years of his life, he finally had a taste of what a family was. He longed for more so he kept coming back. He became addicted to the idea of family. For him, a family consisted of him, Eddie, and Chris. He tried his best to be with them; he kept coming back even when his body was aching and his mind was all messed up. He needed them there. Every time he came over, the idea of a family became stronger and every time he left, a piece of him remained in that house.

It was beautiful, for once Buck had something outside of the war and the Navy. For once, Buck finally knew what it was like to just live, enjoying his life and not hustling, trying to be better, or survived from death. It was beautiful and it felt so right, until the day his pulmonary embolism reappeared. He remembered Eddie’s miserable eyes, it haunted him and he felt like Eddie was going to leave him again, Buck was afraid. Eddie told him that Buck was one of his closest friends and he shared more with Buck than with other people. It made him felt like he belonged there so he promised to be better. He promised to do everything to be with Eddie and Chris.

They started dating not long after that, and it was the happiest days of his life. Eddie treated him with so much love and care, Buck felt his adoration for the other man grew every day. He included Buck in his life, made an effort to let Buck knew every part of him, and Buck became attached. At first, he was only attached with the idea of Eddie and Chris, but now family became even bigger, the VA group, the Diaz family, even the station 118, Buck was grateful.

But he was most grateful for Christopher. Buck loved children, but he would die for Christopher. Ever since he met Chris, his world revolved around the little man. Eddie gave him permission to love Chris as if Chris was his own and Buck was forever thankful. Chris was the closest thing he had for a son and Chris looked at him as if Buck was the most amazing person in his life. Chris did not care about Buck’s nightmares or his mood swings, he just wanted to be with him and Buck did not know what to do with that. He was never at the receiving end at that kind of adoration and love and Buck was addicted. Eddie was no different. Eddie included him in his little family and he treated him as if Buck was his partner in parenting Chris. It was one thing to spend movie nights together, but Eddie did more. He included Buck in discussions about Chris’s wellbeing; he trusted Buck to take care of his son without him, and he even introduced Buck as Chris’s guardian at school. Buck would do anything for them to stay like that.

However, a tsunami knocked some sense into him. Buck and Chris were at the Santa Monica Pier when the first wave hit them and Buck did everything he could to keep Christopher safe. He felt debris hitting his body as the wave hit him but he did not care. He could take anything as long as Chris was okay. He managed for a while but of course he had to play hero, save other people, and losing Chris in the meantime. At that time, all he could think of was to get to Chris, but he failed. Chris was gone.

He refused to stop fighting; he kept looking everywhere, he called for him and then he saw the glasses. Christopher’s glasses was stuck in debris but Chris was nowhere to be found. How could he face Eddie after this? He needed to find Chris; he had to so he continued on. He went to the emergency triage, asking for Chris, but they told him to look at the body bags if he could not find him anywhere. He could not breathe. He kept looking, calling, begging for God to take him instead if they wanted to. It was okay as long as Eddie and Chris were okay.

But Eddie found him before he found Chris and it broke his heart. Eddie’s eyes were wide as he realized that his son was missing. His body was trembling as he tried to look away from Buck. Buck did this to him, if he did not suggest for them to go to the pier, if Buck did not play hero during the tsunami, he could shield Eddie from this pain but of course he could not. He wanted to pull Eddie to ease his pain but how could he when he was the one who created it all? It was his fault, if he was not here, Eddie and Chris would be fine. But, of course, Buck was being selfish, he kept coming back and he ended up ruining everything.

They found Chris. A lady saw him alone and she brought him to the emergency triage. Christopher was okay, he was safe and now he was back in his father’s arms. Buck felt the tension on his body disappeared but he could not move. He refused to move. Eddie and Christopher were so close, if he just took several steps, he could gather them in his arms but it could not happen. If Buck came to them again, he would bring nothing but pain and misery into their life. Eddie and Chris would be haunted by the nightmare of the tsunami and it was all because Buck was inept. He had to leave, for Eddie’s and Chris’s sake.

He ended their relationship but Eddie tried so hard to save their relationship. Buck did not get him, how could he want Buck when Buck caused all the pain he just experienced. Buck was lacking, he was not good enough for Eddie and Chris. Maybe, one day, he would. But not today. If he wanted to be with them, he had to better himself, and Buck only knew one way to improve himself, war.

Right after he was discharged from the hospital, he called his senior chief, asking whether there was a possibility for him to come back to the department. His senior excitedly said yes and without thinking twice, Buck filed the request for his own personal evaluation. The quicker he went back to the Navy, the better it is for everyone, most importantly, it was the best for Eddie and Chris. The further he got from Eddie and Chris, it would be safer for the two of them. They would be spared from heartbreak and nightmares.

It was the hardest thing he did, walking away from Eddie and Chris and it pained him to see they managed without him. Sometimes, when the longing became too hard to bear, Buck would drive to their house, parked near their driveway, and watched the house. He could not see inside but he would sit there for hours. He saw the light of Chris’s bedroom was turned off, and he thought about the times where he got to tuck Chris to bed and be the one who killed that light. Not long after, the light on Eddie’s bedroom also gone and he remembered the nights where he got to hold Eddie close and shared the bed with him. It was beautiful, but Buck did not deserve that, he was not good enough to have that. He drove his car away from what once he called home.

One night, Eddie messaged him, saying that something was wrong with Chris. He quickly rushed to Eddie’s place, hoping that maybe there was something he could do to help. He thought he was ready to face Eddie again, but he was wrong, so wrong when he saw Eddie cried. Eddie looked miserable, he was in pain. He cried as he talked to Buck but Buck could not hear him. The only thing he heard was the voice of his father saying that it was all because of him. He caused all of these. He could not concentrate, he could not hear a single word Eddie was saying but then he heard it. He heard Chris calling out for him and his body moved on their own.

His instinct was to keep Chris safe, so he placed him on his lap and held him tight. He held tight, trying to ease the trembling on Chris’s body as he told him that Chris was okay. But he was not enough, he was never enough, Chris was still trembling because Buck was not what he needed. He needed his father and Buck was not. He pulled Eddie close and enveloped him in a hug. He should just hand Chris back to Eddie but he did not have the will to let Chris go so he held them both close. In his arms are the two most important people in his life, the man that he loved and the boy he called his son. It was supposed to be enough, but Buck was not enough. That night, he did not sleep a wink. He spent the whole night watching Eddie and Chris, trying to memorize all the details of their face. He left before dawn.

That day, he spent his morning going to Carla’s house, working the details for her to work as Chris’s aid. After he was done, he went to the bank to meet his finance advisor. He had money, more than he could ever need all thanks to the years he spent with the Navy SEAL. He was paid the same basic salary as all members of the U.S. Armed Forces but then he remembered receiving a bonus once he qualified for SEAL training and another bonus, thrice the amount of his qualification bonus, for completion of training. He also received bonuses for every reenlistment he had, and he received additional retention bonus payments for every special skill he had. But then, he had no one to spoil. Maddie always refused his money and Buck still struggled to face his father. He just kept it all in his saving but now, he knew what to do.

He knew the evaluation was still going, but he was sure that he would pass. His time in California was coming to an end and there was a possibility that he may never come back. He told his financial advisor to wire money to Carla’s account as the payment for her future service. He also told his advisor to change his insurance details. They changed his insurance details, changing his beneficiary from Maddie, to Christopher. He thought if he could not find a way home, at least he could make sure that Chris was well-taken care of.

After he was done, he spent the rest of the day with Chris and Eddie. He was happy, for once. He introduced Eddie to Carla and he was beaming when Eddie conceded and finally hired Carla as Chris’s aid. Carla was exactly what Eddie and Chris needed, not him. It pained him to do it, but he started to put a distance between him and the Diazes a little by little. He made sure that Eddie and Chris did not notice it, but it was not hard, after all, they already had Carla.

His reinstatement letter came faster than he thought and he only had six weeks to say goodbye. He first told Maddie that he was being reinstated and he asked for her to keep it a secret. She helped him pack his belongings and she was there when Buck told his landlord that he would not continue his lease. She cried but Buck held her close and assured her that he needed to do it. He told his father that he was reinstated, the older Buckley was as cold as he remembered but he heard him praying for his return. He told Carla too, and she gave him a hug. Buck told her not to say anything to Eddie and Chris because he was not ready to say goodbye. She understood.

Buck knew his time with Chris was running out, so he made sure that he was always present when Chris asked for him. He accompanied Carla to pick up Chris at school, and they spent sometimes together. Chris, not knowing what happened, only smiled as he said he enjoyed spending his time with Buck the most, and Buck felt like crying. Would Chris hate him when he left? He did not know. He preferred not to know because he could not live with the idea of Chris hating him.

Eddie was no different. He kept his distance from him and it pained him to see Eddie trying so hard to reach out for him. But he was a coward, he did not have the guts to say that he was leaving. He was not ready for Eddie to know and he was not ready for Eddie to stand in his apartment, surrounded by the boxes of his belongings with confusion on his face demanding for him to explain everything to him.

“How could you do this, Buck?” Eddie asked, and for once he looked so broken, so defeated. He was kneeling on the ground; his reenlistment letter was clutched tight on his hand. Buck did not know what to do; he just kneeled in front of Eddie.

“Eddie, I told you.” He answered. “I-it’s for your own good. I need to leave, or I’ll hurt you two.”

“FUCK YOU!” Eddie spat, he was angry, Buck understood. “You don’t get to decide what’s good for Chris and me! Not if it means you’re leaving.”

“Eddie, I had to.”

“No! You don’t have to! No one forcing you to go! You choose to reenlist! You just want to go, don’t you? You rather be in the middle of a fucking war than be with Chris and me.” He accused.

“Eddie, I want nothing more than be with the two of you, please, Eddie. You’re making this so hard for both of us.” Buck sighed.

“Bullshit. If you want to be with Chris and me, there’s no way that you’re leaving us.”

“Eddie, I’m leaving not because of you, please, you have to know that. I’m leaving for you.” He explained, and he saw tears fell from Eddie’s face. “I’m scared, Eddie. You and Chris are the most important thing in my life and to see the harm I caused in your life… How can I live with that? I’m not good enough to protect Chris from danger; I’m not good enough to help you when you were in pain. I had to become better! I had to fix myself! I know I’m not meant for family, but you and Chris, you made me yearn to be a part of one. For years, I believe I’m only good at hurting people, Eddie. I-I need to fix me or I’ll end up hurting you again.” He said.

“You’re still hurting me when you’re gone. I thought you wanted space, I thought you don’t want to be in a relationship with me anymore. I could live with that. But you want to go to God’s know where and fight? What if you don’t come back? I only had you for a short time… What if I can’t see you again?” Eddie asked, terrified and Buck felt his heart broke.

“Eddie… Even if I can’t come back, I want you to know; I’m always fighting to see you and Chris again.” He said.

“No, you don’t get to say that…”

“Eddie-”

“Promise me,” Eddie demanded. “Promise me you’ll come home.”

“Eddie-” The last thing he wanted was to make empty promises and broke Eddie’s heart again. He could not do it.

“Please, promise me…” Eddie begged. “Promise me that once you come back, you’ll come home, to Chris and me.” He said.

“I promise…” He whispered and Eddie launched himself to hug him. They cried as they held each other close. Eddie was trembling with fear and Buck held him as tight as he could to assure him that everything would be alright.

“I love you so much, Eddie… When I’m ready, once I get better, I’ll come home to you.” He admitted. It was the first time he told Eddie that he loved him but Buck could not contain himself.

“I love you too, Buck. Chris and me. We’ll wait for you to come home.” Eddie whispered as he rested his forehead on Buck’s. “You’ve got to come home.”

“I promise,” he said and for the first time in a long time, he believed his own words. He would do anything to be with Eddie and Chris.


	13. Goodbye

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Facing the inevitable

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This story does not comply with 9-1-1's actual storyline and both characters might be a little bit out of character. I am a sucker for badass Navy Seal Buck.
> 
> English is not my native language and I don't have someone to beta-ed this so I am sorry if there were grammatical errors here and there. I hope you enjoy the story :)
> 
> Don't forget to leave a comment! :D

That night, Eddie slept on Buck’s bed. They shared a pillow, keeping each other close under Buck’s thin blanket. He was clutching Buck’s shirt so tight during his sleep, afraid that Buck would slip away but he felt Buck’s hand on his and he slept a dreamless sleep. When the room was filled with sunlight, Eddie stirred and he could still feel Buck’s body pressed against him. Their legs tangled and their hands intertwined. He felt Buck’s steady breath on his skin, and his heart was filled with warmth. He could do this forever, he thought to himself but the warmth quickly turned into dread. He remembered that forever might be out of the options for them, because whether he liked it or not, Buck would be leaving soon.

He wanted to open his eyes. He could already picture Buck’s messy bed hair and his sleepy smile. It was deeply engraved in his brain after all the times they spent their morning together. Buck’s groan as he stretched his body, the occasional limping he had when he forced himself too hard in physiotherapy the day before, he remembered it all. He knew Buck was there, he could feel him close, but he was not ready to start the day, not when they were getting closer and closer to the time Buck would leave.

Buck promised him that he would come back and Buck always stayed true to his promises but so much could go wrong in a warzone and Eddie was scared. He was scared that Buck could not fulfill this one promise he made. What if Buck perished in a battlefield? Would they tell him? Eddie was nobody for Buck. He was not Buck’s family or legal spouse, the only way he would receive news from Buck was if Maddie told him. He knew he could be a pessimist sometimes but Eddie could not help himself to think the worse.

He felt Buck stirred so he opened his eyes, only to meet Buck’s blue eyes. Buck was wide awake and he smiled as he saw Eddie waking up. He felt Buck tightened his hold on his body as a silent greeting for him, Eddie could not help but smile back.

“Good morning,” he whispered and he saw Buck waver. Buck moved his hand to Eddie’s face and he felt Buck’s finger on his cheek. He must look terrible, Eddie knew. His eyes must be puffy from all the tears he shed the night before and Eddie wanted to look away but he could not.

“I’m sorry…” Buck murmured.

“Buck… We’re over this.” He answered.

“I’m not, Eddie. I caused you a lot of pain… Chris too.”

“Buck, I know I’ve said this a thousand times, you make me and Chris so happy.” He stated, voice soft yet firm to show Buck how truthful he was.

“I’m sorry I didn’t tell you sooner,” Buck said.

“I understand… So much was happening, it’s okay, Buck.”

“Eddie, I keep fucking things up…” He mumbled and Eddie remembered how hesitant Buck was to be with him and Chris.

“No, you didn’t… Even if you did, it’s all in the past.” Eddie said, trying to ease Buck’s worries. For once, he was successful. “When are you leaving?” He finally asked after a moment of silence and the sorrow on Buck’s face reappeared.

“This Friday,” He answered truthfully and Eddie felt like crying again. It was too soon, he was not ready to say goodbye. “I was trying to tell you, but I chickened out. Fuck, what am I going to say to Chris?” Buck groaned as he pulled himself up and sat on the bed, face twisted with sadness and dread.

Eddie slowly settled beside him, his hand moved to rub Buck’s back to calm him as he rested his chin on Buck’s shoulder. “You tell him the truth.” He answered. “You tell him that you’re going to save people again and you’ll try your best to come back to him.”

“To both of you… Chris and you too,” Buck corrected him and Eddie felt his heart skipped a beat. Chris was always a top priority for him and Buck. Everything they did was always for Chris’s sake and it only showed Eddie how much Buck loved his son. It was the first time Buck verbally put him on the pedestal alongside Chris and Eddie was filled with joy. For once, after their breakup months ago, Eddie felt at ease and happy.

***

Telling Chris about Buck’s deployment was the hardest thing he had ever done. It was Saturday so Chris would still be sleeping at home with his aunt, Josephina, and Eddie needed to go back home, or else Chris would be worried when he could not find his father when he woke up. He asked Buck to come with him and Buck agreed. They showered first and Buck lent him his clothes before they went to his house with Eddie’s car.

Eddie chuckled when he saw Chris’s face smashed into the window when he parked his car on the driveway. The smile on Chris's face was so wide when he saw Buck exited the passenger door. It was infectious, they were chuckling when Chris rushed to open the door to greet his favorite person. Chris clumsily tried to reach Buck and Buck met him halfway, scooping him up and made the boy squealed in glee. Chris hugged him so tight as Buck pressed a kiss on his temple and somehow, Eddie felt like an intruder.

Chris silently reached out for him and Eddie grinned as he approached his two favorite boys. In front of his house, he enveloped them both in a hug and after a long time, Eddie felt complete again. His family was complete and he was content.

They moved inside and suddenly the mood shifted again. Chris remained oblivious but Eddie and Buck both realized that sooner or later they would have to tell the truth to Chris. They silently agreed to choose later. That morning, instead of having breakfast at home, Eddie helped Chris showered before they went to iHop and indulged Chris with the unhealthiest, sugary breakfast he wanted. That day, everything that Chris wanted, he would get.

Chris asked to go to the zoo and they quickly agreed. Chris was adamant to walk around the zoo by himself but once the last bit of sugar disappeared from his veins, he reached out for Buck to carry him. Buck carried him on his shoulder as Eddie held onto Chris’s crutches and it was the funniest thing to watch Chris’s exclaimed how cool it was to see everything from that height. By the time they exited the zoo, Chris was sleeping in Buck’s arms.

Chris slept the whole ride back, he did not even stir when they stopped for a while to buy takeouts for their very late lunch. He woke up when Eddie tried to carry him back inside the house and happily talked about all the animals they saw earlier in the morning. He was so happy and Eddie already regretted making that day the best day of Chris’s life. He just realized how much harder it would be to drop the truth bomb now. But they could not waste another time.

Chris was sitting on the sofa and Eddie silently settled beside him and pulled him close while Buck sat cross-legged on the floor facing the two of them. Buck placed his hand on Chris’s thigh and Eddie softly caressed Chris’s hair when he heard Buck spoke, “Chris, there’s something I need to tell you”.

It took a while to pull Chris out from his fun mode but they managed. The boy curiously looked up to Eddie and frowned when he saw Eddie looked at him with a sad smile. “Daddy?” He called hesitantly, finally sensing the tense air in the room and Eddie kissed his temple.

“It’s okay, buddy. Buck just wants to tell you something.” He assured, and Chris turned his attention to Buck.

“Chris, you remembered your dad’s stories? SuperBuck?” Buck asked and Chris nodded.

“Yeah, you saved a lot of people,” Chris answered. “Daddy too.” He added proudly.

“I tried,” Buck commented, trying to undermine his work with the Navy SEAL. “Turns out, there are more people that need saving, Chris.”

“You’re going to save more people?” Chris asked and Buck nodded. “You’re going away?” He asked again, his voice cracked and Eddie felt his heart was breaking.

“I am, Chris.” Buck said truthfully and the dam was destroyed. The boy wailed as he reached for Eddie. Eddie could see Buck’s heart broke into pieces as they listened to Chris’s heart-wrenching cries. Eddie gestured Buck to come closer but when Chris felt Buck’s hand on his back, he pulled away.

“Chris, hey, it’s okay, buddy.” Eddie tried to comfort him but instead, Chris pushed himself out of Eddie’s arms. He clumsily stood up from the sofa.

“NO, IT DOESN’T! I HATE BUCK!” He exclaimed as he rushed out of the living room, leaving the two men frozen on their spot.

It was not the first time Eddie heard Chris said it. He had been the recipient of Chris’s fits of anger a lot of times, he learned not to dwell with it. It was a meaningless spat, and he knew Chris did not mean it but Buck did not. It was the first time Buck heard Chris said it and Eddie could see Buck’s body went rigid in an instant. He quickly reached for his partner.

“Hey, Buck… It’s okay… He did not mean it.” He whispered as he pulled Buck close but it felt like he was talking to a deaf man.

“I’m sorry… I’m sorry… Eddie, he hates me…” Buck whispered in sorrow and Eddie just held him tighter for an anchor.

“He didn’t mean it, Buck. He’s upset that you’re leaving, yes but he did not mean it at all…” He answered.

It took a while to calm Buck down and Eddie took Buck’s hand before leading him to the direction where Chris left. The backdoor by the kitchen was opened and when they exited the house to the backyard, they saw Chris sitting on the bottom of the stairs of his treehouse. He was hiccupping, his cheeks were wet with tears and his eyes were red. When he saw Eddie and Buck at the porch, he wailed again.

Buck rushed to reach for him and Eddie heard Chris admitted that he did not mean what he said when Buck engulfed him in a tight hug. Buck rubbed his back softly when Eddie joined them and once again they held each other close. “I’ll do anything I can to come back, buddy,” Buck whispered and Eddie held him tighter.

“You promised?” Chris asked between hiccups and Buck smiled as he kissed Chris's forehead softly.

“With all my heart.” He answered.

***

Friday came too soon and no one was smiling that morning. Buck spent his remaining days emptying his apartment and stored some of his stuff in the storage facility nearby. Chris and Eddie demanded all of his belonging to be kept in their house but Buck refused quickly. They settled with storing some of Buck’s stuff in the storage facility, while his most essential belongings were moved into the Diaz’s household. He got his personal space in Eddie’s drawer for his clothes and Eddie put Buck’s important documents inside his safe deposit box. Four days before he had to go to the Naval Base, Buck officially moved in with him and Chris.

Chris still had to go to school but when the night came, he latched onto Buck and they spent the nights sleeping in Eddie’s bed. Chris knew Buck was leaving, but he was still struggling to let go. Buck assured him that he was not being deployed right away, he still had to do a series of training and preparation before deployment and there would be some sort of ceremony that he wanted Chris and him to attend. It broke his heart to see Chris nodded dejectedly.

They drove four hours to Coronado. The car was silent most of the time and Eddie could see Buck kept stealing a glance at Chris using the rearview mirror from the driver seat. They stopped two times, once for a bathroom break and one for a light lunch. They finished half of their food; it was apparent that no one had any appetite that day.

They arrived at the Naval Base and by God’s grace, Eddie and Chris got a clearance to enter the base with Buck. The base was huge, it was actually its own island, connected to the mainland by a long bridge. If they were in a better condition, he knew Chris would enjoy the amazing view, but the boy was too heartbroken to notice. There were huge navy ships in the distance, and they could see huge hangars and countless choppers and fighter jets parked in front of it. They passed a squadron who was jogging in full gear, their infamous running cadence could be heard clearly from inside the car, and Buck showed them the military residences where he would stay during his training. Buck finally parked his car in front of a big building that Eddie recognized as the main building for Navy’s top personnel, several people were waiting for them in front of the building by the time they arrived.

Buck introduced him and Chris to his senior chief and the other officers but Eddie could not care less. The next thing Eddie knew, Buck was unloading his bags from the car and Chris was crying again. It was a long and painful goodbye for them, and he latched on to Buck until the very last moment. He did not know how long they were saying goodbye but Eddie remembered Buck ushering them back to the car, buckling Chris on the back seat as he planted a kiss on his forehead before pulling Eddie in for a kiss before he pushed him to the driver seat. “I love you both,” he said when Eddie opened the window so he could lean to the car, and both of the Diaz did not hesitate to answer him back before Eddie drove the car away.

Buck called every night and Eddie could tell it worked wonder to cheer Chris up. They were still struggling with Buck’s absence, but it helped to hear Buck’s voice and saw him during a video call. After a month of training, Buck invited Chris and Eddie back to Coronado. They were having a ceremony because Buck would receive a medal for his ten years of service to the Navy and he would be deployed again soon. It was bittersweet, they got to see him only to let him go again.

Buck offered them to spend a night with him at his residence the night before the ceremony and Eddie did not think twice before he said yes. Eddie switched his shift with one of his teammates so he could leave the station early and go to Coronado with Chris as soon as possible. They arrived sometime around 6 PM and one of the guards escorted them to a training facility. It has been a while since they last saw Buck and Eddie gawked when he watched Buck trained with his team inside the facility. Buck was a huge man, taller than average, bigger too, and yet he looked so agile at the same time. Chris said Buck was cool, Eddie thought Buck was hot.

“BUCKY!” Chris exclaimed when they saw the team was dismissed from the training ground and Buck, tired and dripping with sweat, quickly rushed to them and hugged them close. “Eeww! Bucky, you’re wet!” Chris complained, making the adults laughed. Eddie felt so happy and relaxed, it was as if they were never apart within the last month.

That night, after Chris was sleeping, they made love after a long time and Eddie felt like he just died and went to heaven. Buck was strong and yet he held Eddie as if he was precious jewelry. His thrusts were hard and fast but his kisses were light as a feather. Eddie had to bite the pillow hard or else he might shout and woke the whole residences. Eddie woke up the next day sticky with dried cum all over his body and a delightful ache on his behind but he was not complaining, not when Buck was sleeping peacefully like a baby beside him.

They shared a short peaceful moment on the bed before they had to get ready for the ceremony. Eddie and Chris dressed in his best suit while Buck used his dress uniform. When they went to the hall where the ceremony would be held, they saw Maddie and a middle-aged man that turned out to be Buck’s father. Buck told him about the older man and true to Buck’s words he was silent and distant. Buck was an exact copy of his father; it was as if Eddie was seeing Buck from the future, but they were so different. However, just like his son, Buck’s father quickly bowed down to the cuteness of one Christopher Diaz. The innocent boy happily took his seat beside Buck’s father, and they chatted all through the ceremony.

After Buck had received his medal, a photographer invited Buck’s family to join the stage for a picture. Eddie was perplexed when Buck gestured Chris and Eddie to join the picture with Maddie and his father. Buck proudly carried Chris on his arm as he put his hand on Eddie’s shoulder. Eddie made a mental note to ask a copy of that picture.

“Eddie! Oh my god! I can’t believe you’re here!” They turned their attention to their right only to see Steve, Silva, and Roone grinning at the both of them. Buck invited them to the ceremony; he was grateful that all of them could attend the event. All three men greeted him with a hug and Eddie could not help himself but smile. It has been years since he last saw them but nothing changed.

“Damn, kid! After all this year, you freaking end up with Eddie? Damn, what a story!” Steve said in amusement and Buck only chuckled in return.

Chris was in cloud nine, he got to meet Buck’s old teammates who also appeared in Eddie’s bedtime stories. His eyes were so wide, and he could not contain his excitement when Buck introduced him to his old colleagues. Chris demanded a picture with all of them, and they happily indulged him. Eddie was glad his baby boy was so happy.

Eddie helped Chris to get a plate of snacks while Buck continued to chat with his old teammates. Eddie made sure to get plenty of pastries because Chris said that he wanted to share the snacks with Buck. When they came back, he noticed Buck’s stern look as he talked seriously with Roone. Buck noticed him approaching and Eddie heard him talk in another language. It was French. He frowned. Whatever it is Buck said, he did not want Eddie or Chris to know.

_“Est-ce que vous pourriez les surveiller?”_ He heard Buck said. _“Ils sont tout pour moi.”_

_“Vous avez ma parole.”_ Roone nodded before he turned his attention to Eddie.

Eddie did not know what he was saying with Buck but after that conversation, Roone turned his attention to him. They talked about his works, Chris, at the end of the conversation, Roone asked for his numbers, so they could stay in touch.

The ceremony ended too soon and as the three of them walked back into Buck’s temporary residence, Buck pulled him closer as they watch Chris walking with his crutches in front of him.

“I’m going back to Aleppo,” Buck said in a whisper so only Eddie could hear him. “Next week.” He added, and Eddie felt his body tensing.

“How long?” He asked.

“I don’t know…” Buck answered truthfully. “As long as they need us. It’s going to be so hard on you two… I’m sorry.” He whispered.

“Hey, it’s okay, papi…” Eddie said as he forced a smile for Buck.

“It’s not the same with your deployment… We get no contact with outside worlds. No letters, no phone call… I’m sorry…”

“We’ll manage. Even when there’s no contact, it’s a good thing, no? It means you’re still there.” Eddie said, trying to cheer himself as much as he tried to reassure Buck.

“I’ll come back, promise,” Buck whispered.

“We’ll be here, waiting…” Eddie answered, leaning closer to plant a kiss on Buck’s lips. “I promise.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Est-ce que vous pourriez les surveiller? = Would you please look after them?  
> Ils sont tout pour moi = They’re everything to me  
> Vous avez ma parole = You have my words


	14. End

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> All he could do was wait

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This story does not comply with 9-1-1's actual storyline and both characters might be a little bit out of character. I am a sucker for badass Navy Seal Buck.
> 
> English is not my native language and I don't have someone to beta-ed this so I am sorry if there were grammatical errors here and there. I hope you enjoy the story :)
> 
> Don't forget to leave a comment! :D

It was Thursday, his day off. The house was empty since Carla took Chris to his weekly therapy session and Eddie was opted out from going to the VA support group meeting. He was too agitated to do anything, so he decided to just stay inside for the day. Earlier in the morning, he heated up the leftover pasta Carla made yesterday, but he was done eating after his second bite. He could not stomach another bite of food because his mind was full of the thoughts of Buck. Based on their call yesterday, Buck would be deployed to Aleppo today and Eddie spiraled into a nervous wreck. Eddie was pessimistic he could go through the rest of Buck’s deployment with ease if he could not even get through today.

He was in the middle of folding their dried laundry when he heard his phone rang. He almost ignored the call but instead, he gathered their dried laundry and brought it to the living room where his phone was charged. As he settled on the couch, he examined the caller only to see Buck’s name displayed on his screen. He answered the call right away.

“Buck?” He called, his voice somehow sounded raspy.

“Hey, Eddie.” Buck answered in a low voice that soothed Eddie’s worry. “Just calling to check on you.” He added and Eddie smiled.

“You’re the one going for a deployment, Buck. I should be the one checking on you,” He chuckled and he heard Buck laughed at the other side of the call. “Well, I’m sorry but you missed Chris, Buck. He already left for his therapy,” He said.

“I’m not calling for Chris. I already said my goodbyes yesterday. I’m calling for you.” Buck said and Eddie felt his stomach did a summersault. “I want to hear from you one more time before they take my phone.”

“You sap,” Eddie commented with a chuckle.

“I’m going to miss you, Eds.” Buck said. “So, so much…” He whispered.

“Me too…” He admitted. “You got the medallion?” Eddie asked, remembering the St. Christopher medallion he gave Buck after the ceremony.

“Wear it all the time, my lucky charm,” Buck said proudly. “I printed our picture too; put it in my breast pocket.” He added.

They talked a little more and for a moment Eddie forgot that Buck was on his way to the airport. But he was soon reminded with that horrible fact as he heard Buck’s vehicle came to a halt and a sound of C-130 Hercules engine blasted in the background.

“Eds, I got to go,” Buck said sadly and Eddie felt his heart rate quickened. “Take care of yourself, okay? And hug Chris for me?” He asked and Eddie obediently agreed to his request in an instant.

“You be careful out there. I want you to come home in one piece,” Eddie commented and he could feel Buck smiled in return.

“I love you,” Buck whispered.

“I love you too…” He answered and the call ended.

***

The first month of Buck’s deployment was the hardest for him and Christopher. They were so used to being around Buck, it physically hurt them not to hear his voice every day. He felt like an addict that was experiencing drug withdrawal, it was hard for everybody. He became less friendly at work, and he stopped coming to the team’s get together even when the other begged him to come. He still went to the weekly VA support group, but he chose to stay silent and only talked when he deemed necessary. The others understood though, and they always told Eddie that Eddie was not alone in this agony of waiting for Buck’s return.

Christopher was no different than him. His cheerful baby boy was missing his hero, his favorite person, his other father… and Eddie did not know what to do. It was ironic, Eddie thought because now he knew how it felt to be Shannon. He finally understood how hard it was when Shannon waited for his deployment to end. It was like he got a taste of his own medicine, times two, remembering Chris was so much older than before. Not like when Eddie was deployed, this Chris understood the danger of deployment and he could relate with the idea of Buck being wounded, or worse, killed in action. Chris was struggling with it, and the boy became quick to snap at him. He even snapped at Carla, but it ended with tears and a thousand apologies.

They decided to unpack all of Buck’s belongings on their off day. With Buck’s absence, they needed some kind of permanence that definitely did not come from boxes of stuff. Yes, Buck did get a drawer and his important papers were safe inside Eddie’s safe-deposit box, but he never unpacked all of his belongings so Eddie decided the Diaz boys could take over the task. They started by unpacking all of Buck’s clothes and somehow they ended up playing dress-up with it, it was a good day. They ended the day with Eddie wearing Buck’s sweater and Chris wearing Buck’s shirt like a dress. They took a picture of themselves and sent it to Maddie, earning tons of heart eyes in return.

They also unpacked the boxes that filled with Buck’s certificate and medals, so they decided to go big with it. Eddie ordered a bunch of photo frames online and they started to frame each medal and certificates. After they were done, they mounted the photo frames in one side of the living room wall, alongside Eddie’s medals and Christopher’s award certificates. Eddie also printed their photo from Buck’s ceremony in Coronado and mounted it to the wall. It was the first thing they would see when they enter the house and the last thing they saw when they left. It was amazing how calming it felt for both Eddie and Chris.

***

Rone called him one day on Buck’s second month of deployment, and his family came to visit by the Saturday. Chris quickly bonded with Rone’s son while Eddie focused his attention on Rone’s infant daughter. She was the prettiest little thing and Eddie could not help but coo when he saw her. Rone also introduced him to his wife, Dorothy and somehow by the end of the day, Eddie was added into a group chat consist of Dorothy, Steve’s partner, Danny, Silva’s wife, Becky, and Bub’s widow, Kate. Outside of Dorothy, he never met the rest of the group chat members, but they made him felt welcome so fast, it felt like Eddie already knew them for years.

Apparently, they were waiting for the time for Buck to settle down as Buck somehow gave them the impression of a lone wolf or something. They talked a lot about their partner’s past deployment and helped him when he struggled with worries. On better days, they shared pictures of their families and even old pictures of their partners. More than once, they sent a picture of Buck alongside with their partners to cheer Eddie up. It helped him get through his days.

***

On Buck’s third month of deployment, a newfound friendship was flourished between Eddie and Maddie. After Buck left, they rarely see each other but they decided to make time after spending a little too much time messaging each other. They met over coffee and they spent their time talking about anything, mostly Buck and Chris. Just like Buck, Maddie was a delight and it was not hard to like her. She was genuinely kind and warm, exactly like his baby brother and they bonded over their longing for Buck.

Chris was also smitten with Maddie. He was quick to call her his favorite Auntie but Eddie’s sister did not need to know that. Maddie treated Chris as if he was Buck’s own children and Eddie could not be more grateful than that. She quickly became invested with Chris’s wellbeing, just like Buck used to, it was uncanny how similar the two of them were.

“Oh, Eddie, he’s the cutest,” Maddie squealed from her spot beside Eddie as they watched Chris’s theatre club production of Lion King. It was Chris's second month at his new school and Eddie quickly registered him to a theatre club when he learned that Chris was interested in joining. It helped him make new friend quicker too, Eddie was smiling from ear to ear when he saw Chris, who played Timon, proudly sang Hakuna Matata with his friends.

“He is, isn’t him?” Eddie chuckled while recording the whole production. Buck might not be there to see Chris but Eddie would do anything he could to capture every moment so Buck could see it once he got back.

“He sings so well too,” Maddie praised and Eddie grinned in return. “I remember Buck always come when I perform with my drama club.” She said.

“He’d kill to see this,” Eddie commented and Maddie smiled sweetly at him.

“There’s always next time, Eddie. He won’t miss a single performance once he comes back.” Maddie said confidently, and it was not hard for Eddie to believe her.

***

Eddie reached a record low on Buck’s fourth month of deployment. He just got back from his 24-hour shift, but the house was empty since Chris was spending the night with his Abuela so he could have a proper rest after a long shift. He already showered at the station, and he wanted nothing but to go to his bedroom and sleep but he stopped when he spotted a piece of a big envelope peeked through his mailbox.

He took the envelope out and examined the sender's information. The letter came from an insurance company and the letter was addressed to Christopher and Eddie as Christopher’s legal parent. Eddie carelessly drop his bag near the front door after he stepped inside his house but Eddie did not care, he was dying to open the letter. Turns out, the letter was a notification that Chris was Buck’s primary beneficiary and would inherit Buck’s death benefit.

Eddie felt his body shook terribly after he finished the letter. Buck made sure that he could still help provide for Chris even after he was dead. It was once to think about Buck being wounded in a warzone, but to see Buck prepared them for the worst possible scenario was too much for Eddie to handle. He felt tears started to fall from his eyes as he once again filled with dread of Buck’s death.

He quickly dialed Maddie’s number, but he had trouble to speak, Maddie ended up hanging up after she said that she was coming over. He heard the sound of a car parked in front of his driveway after twenty minutes. Eddie opened the door before Maddie could knock and she saw both Maddie and Chimney quickly approached him when they saw his teary face.

He collapsed to the ground, but Chimney quickly helped him up and brought him back inside while Maddie silently read the letter that Eddie handed him. She placed the letter on the coffee table before approaching Eddie with a soft smile. “It’s going to be okay, Eddie.” She whispered. Eddie had a hard time believing her that night.

***

On Buck’s six months of deployment, Eddie started learning how to cook. It started with Danny posting a picture of him and Steve celebrating their anniversary with Steve preparing breakfast in bed for him; it was hard not to get envious. Eddie showed the picture to the rest of the team and Bobby said it was not hard to do it and he offered to teach Eddie if he was interested in learning.

His family would say that Eddie was a bad cook but it was a misguided statement. Eddie lived in a big family, he had a mother who was amazing at cooking and three sisters who take after her. There was no point of learning how to cook when you have four amazing chefs at home. Shannon was also a good cook, she was not as good as her mom but she always cooked for Eddie and Chris. When she left, his mother made sure to send him food once a week for him and Chris. Even when he moved to California, he had Abuela and Pepa, who also were amazing cooks, pampering him with lots of home cook meals. Eddie was not a bad cook; he was inexperienced.

Cooking was hard, though. He burnt eggs way too many times, and he was too stiff to improvise with his cooking. He always stuck to the recipe whilst Bobby moved as if he knew better than what the recipe was saying. Eddie almost thought he was hopeless. He started with a simple toast and by the next morning, he made it for Chris’s breakfast. The big grin on Chris's face and the appraisal he got from his baby boy was enough for Eddie to schedule another cooking course from Bobby.

After he had mastered making salad and pasta, he visited Chim and Maddie with his home cook meals. Maddie was delighted but Chimney was skeptical. Madie had to give him the stink eye before he conceded and joined them on the table. It was a decent dinner and by the time he went back home, Maddie told him about Buck’s obsession with sugar and carbs. Eddie requested Bobby to teach him how to bake brownies the next time they had a cooking course.

***

On month seven, Hen suggested him to start writing letters to buck to heal his longing. He was skeptical at first, but he hasn’t heard from Buck for seven months, he was desperate. He started writing letters to Buck, telling Buck about his days, as detail as possible, so Buck would not miss a thing. He even put the letter in an envelope, but he did not know how to send it so he just put it inside his drawer.

Christopher saw his letter after his fourth and he asked what Eddie was doing. Eddie told him about the letter and Chris was quick to ask to do the same so it became their new thing. Once in a while, after Chris was done with his homework and it was still early to go to sleep, they would sit on the dining table, writing their own letter to Buck before Eddie put it in the same envelope. They still did not write any address on the envelope but Eddie started to label the envelope with the date they wrote the letter.

He shared what he was doing with his friends in the group chat and the next thing he knew, Dorothy had to tell her husband what he was doing and Rone was calling him the next morning. “I heard you’ve been writing letters for Buck.” Rone said after they greeted each other.

“Dorothy told you?” Eddie asked, Ron’s chuckle was enough as an answer for Eddie.

“About the letter…” Rone said. “I can try to help you send it to Buck if you want.” He offered, and a smile appeared on Eddie’s face in an instant.

“You’re joking,” Eddie commented. “Buck told me he got no contact with outside worlds.”

“He does,” Rone answered. “But once in a while, his team would go back to the basecamp for supply. It would make his day if, by the time he came to the base, he found your letter.” He said.

“You seriously can do that?” Eddie asked hesitantly, trying to make sure that Rone was not messing with him.

“I can try to make it happen. Just send the letter to me, and I’ll see what I can do.” He said.

When Eddie got back from his shift, he told Chris about the call from Rone and the boy was ecstatic. Eddie was debating which letter they should send but Chris enthusiastically said, they had to send all of them. So they did.

Eddie sent Rone a big box containing all of their letters. He also slipped a couple of drawings from Chris and a picture of Chris and him wearing Buck’s clothes. Eddie felt like crying when three days later, he received a photo from Rone of a perfectly sealed package being loaded into a C-130 Hercules alongside with food supplies and medicines. From the stamps on the food supplies on the picture, Eddie could see that the supplies were going to be shipped to Aleppo. Eddie hoped the letters would arrive safely on Buck’s hand.

***

Buck missed Chris’s eighth birthday. It was Buck’s ten months of deployment and Eddie still has not heard anything from the blonde man. He and Chris still regularly sent him, letters, but the last few letters from Chris were filled with his excitement that his birthday was coming and his hopes for Buck to be there with him. It pained him to think about Buck’s absence so Eddie decided to go big.

He booked a spot in Chris’s favorite park and he invited all of Chris’s friends to Chris’s birthday party. He rented a bouncy castle and had a magician performed for the kids. Maddie helped him buy Chris’s cake; a big cake shaped into the face of Chris’s favorite TV character, the cookie monster. The children were ecstatic to see the cake and they could not wait to taste it but he could see a frown on Chris’s face when they sang him a happy birthday and a big determination on his face when he mumbled his wishes before he blew the candle.

By the time the party ended, the kids were down from their sugar rush and Eddie had to apologize to their parents for the amount of sugar they just consumed in Chris’s party. Eddie waited until the park was cleaned before he went home with Chris who was already sleeping in the car. He carried Chris back inside the house and put him on the bed before he took off Chris’s shoes and changed his clothes into a pair of the pajama.

“Daddy?” Chris called groggily before Eddie left his bedroom.

“Yeah, buddy?” He asked, approaching Chris’s bed and sat on the edge next to Chris’s legs.

“H-How do I make sure that my birthday wish comes true?” He asked seriously and Eddie smiled in return.

“We can’t, buddy. We just pray and hope for the best. But from what I know, there is no way a wish of a good boy like you won’t come true.” He said.

“Really?” He asked and Eddie nodded confidently. “G-good… I really want my wish to come true.”

“What do you wish for, buddy? New books? Toys?” He asked, tried to coax his son to tell him what he wanted so Eddie could give him that. Chris shook his head in return.

“I-I want Buck to be safe so he can come home soon,” Chris said and Eddie felt like he lost the ability to breathe.

“You use your birthday wish for Buck?” Eddie asked and Chris nodded. “That’s really nice, Chris. There is no way a wish this nice left unnoticed.” He said and Chris drifted off to sleep with a smile on his face.

***

It was almost a year since Buck was deployed to Aleppo and Eddie was close to his breaking point. He was stuck in a 24-hour shift and honestly, that shift was excruciating. Somehow people decided to do crazy shit at the same time and they ended up responding to numerous call since the start of the shift. He only had one hour sleep in the bunker before the alarm blared at dawn, signaling them that another emergency was happening. It was only 15 hours into his shift and Eddie could not take it anymore.

He rushed and poured himself a cup of coffee, ignoring Bobby’s call for debriefing completely. He was exhausted and sleep-deprived, he started seeing things. The rest of the team already started cleaning the truck when he saw a tall figure enter the station. The tall figure was clad in military uniform and had a big duffle bag on his shoulder. His step was confident, it was as if he had visited the station before.

Eddie felt his body vibrated as he eyed the tall figure but his steps were hesitant. He was so sure that he was imagining things but the figure was so familiar, Eddie had to see him up close. “Buck,” he breathed, and his steps became faster and lighter. As he got closer, he could see the blonde hair underneath the cap and he finally saw the face of the person that he missed the most in the world.

His steps became frantic as he tried to come closer. “BUCK!” He called as he reached the first floor of the station and finally sprint to the tall figure. “BUCK!” He called again before launching himself to tackle the other man.

He was quickly enveloped in a tight embrace and the next thing he knew he was crying when he heard the other man call his name. “You’re back…” He whispered as he buried his face on Buck’s neck.

“I’m back. I promised, didn’t I?” He answered, making Eddie chuckled in return.

He put both of his hands on Buck’s cheeks, taking his time examining Buck’s face. He looked older, he let his stubble grows and his eyes looked tired but he was smiling and Eddie knew he was okay. “You did…” Eddie mumbled before he leaned closer to kiss Buck’s lips.

They kissed as they used to but there was heavy feeling of urgency clouding their kiss. Eddie kissed him hard, reassuring himself that Buck was really back because Eddie felt like he was in the cruelest dream he had imagined. But it felt real, Buck’s lips were as soft as he remembered and his hold on Eddie’s body was enough to ground him.

“I’m back… For good, this time.” Buck whispered after he broke their kiss.

“Buck-”

“I mean it, Eddie. I’m back, for good. No more deployment, no more SEALS.” He said confidently and Eddie shivered. “I can’t… I can’t go anymore…”

“Buck… It’s okay, I know it was a lot.” Eddie said.

“No, Eddie. I can’t be without you and Chris. I was okay before, but every day there, I keep thinking about you two and it kills me to be apart.” He admitted.

“I miss you, so much…” Eddie admitted as he kissed Buck’s lips again.

“Me too…” Buck mumbled.

“I love you…” Eddie whispered as he leaned for another kiss.

He felt a single tear escaped his eye when Buck deepened their kiss. It was a tear of happiness; he was happy to have his love back and healthy in his arms again. It was amazing, and it was forever embedded in his mind, the moment Buck said, “I love you too”.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> It's the end of the story! Thank you, everyone, for reading and commenting :) i'm thinking about writing other stories from this series, what do you think?  
> Once again, thank you :)

**Author's Note:**

> Don't forget to leave comments :)


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